A question Help

[Harmonized222]

Hi I need help with something. Since I have been 14 yrs old I have been looking at the both sexes in a sexual way. I am bi curious. Would it be wrong for me to want to have a one time experience with the same sex just once? I am a Christian but I am afraid someone would find out if I did this. I am so curious I really want to know what it feels like with another woman in bed I think it could be fun but I am scared. I live in a small town and I well gossip and rumours go fast so yeah you bet I'm scared because I have a good reputation. I just need help. IS this kind of thinking ok? Sometimes not a lot but sometimes I do dream of doing it with another women or two sometimes it's with a man and woman. It just makes me well you know. Pls Help me understand why this is. :eek: :confused:

[Mimi]

Hi I need help with something. Since I have been 14 yrs old I have been looking at the both sexes in a sexual way. I am bi curious. Would it be wrong for me to want to have a one time experience with the same sex just once? I am a Christian but I am afraid someone would find out if I did this. I am so curious I really want to know what it feels like with another woman in bed I think it could be fun but I am scared. I live in a small town and I well gossip and rumours go fast so yeah you bet I'm scared because I have a good reputation. I just need help. IS this kind of thinking ok? Sometimes not a lot but sometimes I do dream of doing it with another women or two sometimes it's with a man and woman. It just makes me well you know. Pls Help me understand why this is. :eek: :confused:

hello harmonized,

i'm surprised no one has replied to this post, but be assured that many of us here have gone through what you are probably going through. it's a very foggy place to be because there are so few "guidelines" about what it means to be bi and to live a bi life.

it seems like you are asking for some validation of your feelings for women. of course "this kind of thinking" is "ok." there are many people out there who also have attractions to men and women. it does not make you strange or immoral. if you want to know "why" you have these feelings, well, the "nature vs. nurture" debate could be inserted here, but the short story is that people sometimes simply can't help why they have crushes on men, women, or both. sometimes people have the potential to have those feeelings, and some of those people become aware of them and some don't. the ones that become aware, may or may not act on their feelings.

i recommend that you check out the Bisexual Resource Center's page on FAQs about bisexuality: http://www.biresource.org/272. the BRC has some really great information for someone trying to figure things out. they have a great page called "i think i might be bi (now what do i do?)": http://www.biresource.org/pamphlets/mightbebi.html.

try to take things slow, and listen to your heart. :)

mimi :flag1:

[Sparks]

At first, we are all afraid. The feelings that you have are natural and you've found the perfect place to express yourself. Every one of us here have been in your place. I just want to let you know that you are safe here. The bottom line. . . there is nothng wrong with you.

Fred

[CountryLover]

Dear Harmonized,

A less accurate nickname is hard to imagine. You are in such chaos within yourself, in trying to deny, suppress and demean part of your own being.

You're not only demeaning yourself, but the person you're seeking for a trick.

I know this sounds harsh, but I want you to realize that you're asking another person to let you experiment with their body and their emotions. We're not Barbie dolls, to play with, and then put away til the next time you get the urge to experiment.

Honey, I know it's tough dealing with your upbringing that same sex contact is wrong, and the fear of being different. I was married to a fundamentalist minister for 26 years - I know ALL about homophobia, internalizing self hatred, the fear of exposure.

You need to understand this clearly. God made you as you are, whether you're bisexual, or straight, or lesbian. Now it's up to YOU to be the best person you can be, regardless of what your orientation might be.

You don't have to go around waving Pride flags and getting in people's faces. You don't need to put yourself at risk by jumping out of the closet, if it's not safe. You DO need to love yourself as a child of God, and to treat others the same way.

When you accept yourself, and accept your orientation whatever it may be, you'll be so much happier and able to find your life mate. :2cents:

[onewhocares]

Well Said, Country Lover. Far better than I might have expressed the same comments.

Belle

[Mrs.F]

Dear Harmonized,

A less accurate nickname is hard to imagine. You are in such chaos within yourself, in trying to deny, suppress and demean part of your own being.

You're not only demeaning yourself, but the person you're seeking for a trick.

I know this sounds harsh, but I want you to realize that you're asking another person to let you experiment with their body and their emotions. We're not Barbie dolls, to play with, and then put away til the next time you get the urge to experiment.

Honey, I know it's tough dealing with your upbringing that same sex contact is wrong, and the fear of being different. I was married to a fundamentalist minister for 26 years - I know ALL about homophobia, internalizing self hatred, the fear of exposure.

You need to understand this clearly. God made you as you are, whether you're bisexual, or straight, or lesbian. Now it's up to YOU to be the best person you can be, regardless of what your orientation might be.

You don't have to go around waving Pride flags and getting in people's faces. You don't need to put yourself at risk by jumping out of the closet, if it's not safe. You DO need to love yourself as a child of God, and to treat others the same way.

When you accept yourself, and accept your orientation whatever it may be, you'll be so much happier and able to find your life mate. :2cents:

That is beautifully written...I could never have stated it in the words you did.
Mrs.F :)