Bisexuality does not reinforce the gender binary

[MarieDelta]

Interesting article from Julia Serano



10 October 2010

Increasingly these days, I come across people who are ostensibly bisexual—in that they partner with both women and men—but who refuse to identify with that term.

Now this, in and of itself, is not necessarily a bad thing, as words (and especially identity labels) evolve over time and invariably go in and out of fashion.

What does bother me, however, is the explanation that is often given for this lack of identification: That the word bisexual supposedly “reinforces the gender binary,” or “reinforces the notion that there are only two genders.”

As a bisexual-identified trans woman*, I find this argument extremely problematic for a number of reasons.

While there may be an infinite number of potential genders, there are two general types of sexed bodies: female and male. Granted, there is a lot of variation within, and some overlap between, these categories (e.g., intersex people, trans people who physically transition from one sex to the other).

However, this variation and overlap does not automatically invalidate the existence of female and male bodies, but rather it simply means that these categories are far more complex than most people are willing to acknowledge.

In addition to this, we live in a society where all people are automatically (and often nonconsensually) read as either female or male, and where different assumptions, expectations and restrictions are placed on a person based upon which of these two sexes they are perceived to be.

The reason why I identify as bisexual is two-fold.

First, on a physical level, the attraction that I feel toward male-bodied people feels very different to me on a visceral level than the attraction that I feel toward female-bodied people. And having sex with a female partner feels very different to me than having sex with a male partner.

Such feelings are difficult to put into words, and I am not quite sure what the source of this difference is, but presumably it is related to what makes exclusively homosexual or heterosexual people attracted to one sex or the other, but not both.

I know that some people describe themselves as pansexual, which may work well for them, but I personally am not a big fan of that label with regards to my own sexuality, as it erases the way in which my attraction toward women is different from the attraction I experience toward men (and vice versa).

The second, and far more important reason (at least for me), why I embrace the word bisexual is that people perceive me and react to me very differently depending on whether the person I am coupled with is (or appears to be) a woman or a man.

In the hetero-mainstream, when I am paired with a man, I am read as straight; when I am paired with a woman, I am read as queer. In queer settings, when I am paired with a woman, I am read as lesbian/dyke/queer and viewed as a legitimate member of the community.

But when I am paired with a man (especially when the man in question is cisgender), then I am not merely unaccepted and viewed as an outsider, but I may even be accused of buying into or reinforcing the hetero-patriarchy.

So in other words, the “bi” in bisexual does not merely refer to the types of people that I am sexual with, but to the fact that both the straight and queer worlds view me in two very different ways depending upon who I happen to be partnered with at any given moment.



More after the link...

http://www.thescavenger.net/glb/bisexuality-does-not-reinforce-the-gender-binary-39675.html

Defintely food for thought.

[Long Duck Dong]

pansexual is the term used for any person that is attracted to people outside of the strict gender guidelines.......

the trouble is there is only three possible genders, male, female and intersex....
and thats taking sexuality down to the X/Y and XXY, XYY chromosomal state

as people we seek to create more genders based around personal identification..... so we try to create more gender identities to match......

that creates a myriad of possibilities and frankly a lot of people do not give a shit about most peoples personal identities.... life is too short to deal with the individual traits and qualities of 30 different gender identities......

this is what happens when we try to create a society based around individual diversity and differences..... we expect the world to sit up and learn about us and our differences and the way we think and feel and expressions......

interesting to note in one of the comments, that one person has read that pansexuals view animals as valid sexual partners........
who decided that...??????? cos its news to me..... and I would say a lot of pansexuals would tell you while they like to fuck like rabbits and do it doggie style..... that doing thumper and lassie is not on the menu.......

zoophilics are the ones that like flipper and thumper and lassie and scooby doo and barney the dinosaur.......


sighs..... I am what I am and who I am..... the rest of the world can argue over how they see me.... but most of them have never seen me.... they only see their own image in the mirror

[tenni]

"Increasingly these days, I come across people who are ostensibly bisexual—in that they partner with both women and men—but who refuse to identify with that term." "the explanation that is often given for this lack of identification: That the word bisexual supposedly “reinforces the gender binary,” or “reinforces the notion that there are only two genders.”

I find that I do not identify or hardly even comprehend the concepts in this article. I think that the writer is writing from a perspective that is primarily from being transgendered and not the same perspective as csigendered people. Who are these people that she refers to who do not identify with the gender binary? Are they csi gender people or transgendered people?

"Everyone cisgendered person obeys the gender binary daily and a genderqueer person battles it daily." (quote of a person from wiki on the dispute about gender binary being redirected to transgendered)

Bisexuality is a sexual attraction to both genders. When you get into discussing acceptance of hetero appearing couples versus same gender couples in gay groupings you are outside of the realm of bisexuality and discussing the sub group or mainstream group's social acceptance of couples based on the gender of couples. This is not connected to bisexuality at all. It is a social construct about the gender of couples. It is an apples and oranges argument.

[MarieDelta]

I must say I am suprised that you dont comprehend the concepts presented in this article, Tenni.

Quite simply if you are with a same sex partner in LGBTQ settings then you are invisible, but if you are with an opposite sex partner in LGBTQ setting you stick out like a sore thumb. The reverse is true in "straight" society.

It has nothing to do with being trans , but with the out bisexual experience.

It also has to do with the different ways that we are attracted to the different genders.

It isn't very complex at all.


Btw


What do we mean by "sex" and "gender"?Sometimes it is hard to understand exactly what is meant by the term "gender", and how it differs from the closely related term "sex".

"Sex" refers to the biological and physiological characteristics that define men and women.

"Gender" refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours, activities, and attributes that a given society considers appropriate for men and women.

To put it another way:

"Male" and "female" are sex categories, while "masculine" and "feminine" are gender categories.

Aspects of sex will not vary substantially between different human societies, while aspects of gender may vary greatly.

Some examples of sex characteristics :

•Women menstruate while men do not
•Men have testicles while women do not
•Women have developed breasts that are usually capable of lactating, while men have not
•Men generally have more massive bones than women

Some examples of gender characteristics :

•In the United States (and most other countries), women earn significantly less money than men for similar work
•In Viet Nam, many more men than women smoke, as female smoking has not traditionally been considered appropriate
•In Saudi Arabia men are allowed to drive cars while women are not
•In most of the world, women do more housework than men

http://www.who.int/gender/whatisgender/en/index.html

[tenni]

No, I do not comprehend or basically accept the essential position of the writer that bisexuals do not accept the gender binary. I think that I do accept the gender binary. I think that as a bisexual man that I am attracted to the physicality and personality of the individual and the connection to their sex. I do reject the stereotypical feminine behaviour in men and sexually attracted to the masculine behaviour and physical attributes of men. Similarly, I am sexually attracted to the feminine aspect of a woman both physically and behaviour. There may be bisexuals who do not limit themselves to wanting the masculine traits of a man and feminine traits of a woman. Of course, there will not be hard and rigid stereotypes as to what attracts me to a man or a woman. I'm open to a woman who exhibits some aggression sexually and a man who exhibits some aggression but not interested or attracted to either who exhibit the "stereotypical" aggression or overly aggressive person. I don't see this as connected to whether you accept gender binary and being bisexual. What the writer connected gender to was some rather negative social constructs. That just seems weird and biased.

How does an out bisexual couple differ from a straight or gay couple?

I think that both gay and straight groups may reject a bisexual couple for reasons of difference. I think that you "blend" in better depending upon which gender that you are with and the group that you are with. When a bisexual couple state within each group that they are bisexual, you may get rejection from both groups. Add to that a mixed orientation couple and more rejection or confusion? Your physical gender appearance will play less of a role than your spoken words at that point. I don't see the connection to whether your accept gender binary or not. Being bisexual has nothing to do with what gender that you partner with. You have the choice. Heteros and gays do not have this choice nor want it. What is really being discussed in those situations is the phobic behaviour of straight or gay groups and not bisexuality and the gender binary.

[MarieDelta]

FWIW - There is a sizable contingent within the feminist and lesbian culture that reject the gender binary, that are not trans identified.

Also some men (my boyfriend, for instance) do not want a masculine male & would rather have a feminine male partner. Some women are more attracted to butch (or masculine) women.

However, that does not make them "un-bisexual."

Nor does the term "Bisexual" reinforce (which does not mean that individuals accept or rebel against) the gender binary. In essence it has to do with your attraction to same and differing. It also has to do with the way you are attracted to those.

In recent times, it has to be said, there has been a fracturing of the glbtq, which, at some point, has got to stop.

But from a viewpoint of a closeted male bisexual, none of it really matters, I suppose.

[tenni]

"But from a viewpoint of a closeted male bisexual, none of it really matters, I suppose."

No , it doesn't . You are correct. (puts to one side the put down attempt to shame) As I stated my view is my view but bisexuals that I know vary as to whether they are attracted to the gender binary. Most are. There are more bisexuals who do not chose to be public about their sexuality. Which views are more representative of bisexuality? You seem to be referring to a political movement rather than a sexuality and gender binary. Are you under the belief that because you are open and political that makes this writer's perception "the reality"? Your perception it seems as well? I don't know if the majority of bisexuals believe in the gender binary or not. I do is all that I'm writing.

If gays and heteros are biphobic it doesn't mean that bisexuals reject gender binary is all that I'm writing. I reject much of the premise and argument of the writer.

[MarieDelta]

yeah politics - spelled "c-o-m-m-u-n-i-t-y"

[bisexual Bill]

As I stated my view is my view but bisexuals that I know vary as to whether they are attracted to the gender binary. Most are. There are more bisexuals who do not chose to be public about their sexuality. Which views are more representative of bisexuality? You seem to be referring to a political movement rather than a sexuality and gender binary. Are you under the belief that because you are open and political that makes this writer's perception "the reality"? Your perception it seems as well? I don't know if the majority of bisexuals believe in the gender binary or not.

Well said.

Some bisexuals are into gender and some are not. One size does not fit all.

[softfruit]

What I find interesting about proponents of the notion of "bisexuality reinforces binary gender" is that it is a stick used in certain circles to attack a bi identity, but that those spaces and voices do not go on to similarly attack homo- and hetero- identites. Even though those are the ones more inherently dividing in the reinforcement of a binary. Those who will tell us that if you are a bi person whose attractions include some trans or genderqueer people then "bi" is the wrong word don't press equivalent neologisms for being a straight man who might consider sex with a trans or genderqueer woman.

There is of course a "bi" in "bisexual" and a "bi" in "binary". However, there's about seventeen meanings of the word "set" in English, and if you ask someone to set the dinner table for Sunday lunch very few of them get the concepts blurred and go and pop it in the fridge like they would to set jelly. Implying binary from bisexual is a deliberate linguistic conceit, and of course mathematically flawed too.

Which makes me think that it's a meme with roots in making someone be lower down a hierarchy than you, to have an unacceptable (bi) enemy which makes common ground within biphobic LGbt communities.