Losing my virginity with this guy

[jumptheshark]

Hey, new member :bigrin:

Basically, I'm 20, bi and a virgin, which I'm a bit bummed about. I've only had one girlfriend, but we were more friends, we just kissed. The most I've done with a girl is snogging. I've met this guy over at LadsLads, and he's at the same Uni as me. We've been getting on, and been making out, we've given each other hand-jobs and that (hope I'm not getting to explicit here, won't somebody think of the children?!)

So we haven't gone any further, but we've bother heavily implied that we're going to. Now he's gay, and has had sex about "5 or 6 times" he said, since he was 14/15. So that's made me already feel a bit like "oh, uh, okay" .. I've told him that I'm not a virgin, cos he was shocked to find out I'd done nothing with a lad. If I told him I'd done next to nothing with a girl, I might have just given him a stroke. So he thinks me and my girlfriend (in college, 17/18) had sex.

Basically, I just feel quite bad lying. I've also lied to friends about losing my virginity in first year of Uni to a girl, since everyone lost theirs around 16/17/18, I just caved and made up some bull-shit, and it was quite nice not having people think "oh, you're still a virgin aren't you?"

So what I'm getting at is: 1) I don't particularly care about lying to my friends all too much, some of them probably have too. But this guy.. do I just not mention it again, and lose my virginity to him, with him not knowing? 2) I feel I've missed out big-time, on both girls and boys, but now girls in particular. Oh, and I'm only out to a couple of people, so being with this lad will be something quite different and wondering how I'd go about easing people into the fact that I'm bi and with this lad (assuming everything goes well with him of course).

Sorry about that jumbled first post, promise I'll get better! Any sort of comforting words or wisdom/advice would be really nice guys, thanks.

[elian]

I wouldn't worry too much - bottom line is you told him you've had sex maybe 1-2 times right?..so he'll be expecting you to be inexperienced. If it really bothers you, get to know him a bit more and if you are having an intimate private conversation you might just admit to him that it's your first time. I wouldn't even start out saying "You know how I told you I had sex with.." I would just say, "I was embarrassed to admit this but it's my first time". Hopefully he'll understand, it's not like sex comes with instruction manuals or anything so everybody has been there..with the lack of experience I mean.

Being a virgin isn't the worst thing in the world, some of us old perverts actually like the idea of having sex with one.

I would be a lot more relieved to know that the person I'm interested in sleeping with is a virgin than if you lied the other way and later admitted that you had more rides than the village bicycle..not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that, it would just be a surprise.

[cornholejoe]

hey just go on and do it and you wont be one anymore

[FunE1]

I'm with elian -- I wouldn't spend any time worrying about this. There are plenty of 20 year old virgins out there, big deal. If you like each other and are having fun with each other, just go have it off with him.

If the subject comes up again and you want to set him straight, then do so. You can just tell him that you felt a bit embarrassed about being a virgin... especially because you like him and would like it if you two did more together. I suspect you'll find he's really not that bothered by it. And he even may be pleased to be your first.

As for easing people in to you being bi, well, again, I wouldn't worry too much. It's not like anybody NEEDS to know who you're pulling, so tell the people you feel comfortable telling, and don't tell those you're not comfortable telling.

Be safe and have fun!

jim

p.s.

chances are good, too, that your buddy is as nervous about all of this as you are, so if you both focus on being good to yourselves and each other, things should go well for you.

[Realist]

Welcome to the site, Shark!

I agree with Elian and Fun. To have a virgin choose someone for his/her first time is a special gift.

That's what my 1st guy told me.

I had wanted to do "something" I just didn't know what, but I chose the right one to show me the way. I hope he turns out as nice and caring as mine did.

Good luck!.

[KevsBi]

When the time comes just relax and let him take the lead.
I remember my first time with a guy and how nervous I was but just followed his lead. He was a little more experienced. When it came time for anal he wanted to 'top' me and I just told him that I had never done anything like that....he completely understood and he just took his time, used lots of lube and was very gentle....hopefully your experience will be a good one!

[love1234]

Maybe you should pay a hot sexy whore or do a couple of the local sluts or both.

Practice, Practice, Practice:-)

Play safe.

[slipnslide]

You're not missing anything, trust me. After that first time you're likely to think, "that's it?".

[mikey3000]

If you do it with the right person, it can be a very big deal. Believe me, you always remember your first. Good for you for waiting.

[jumptheshark]

I'd love to reply to you all, but I'd be here hours so I'll just say thanks so much for your replies, what a friendly bunch of people. I'd also like to apologise for some of my grammar and what-not in my first post, I know it's not a big deal but I can get a bit OCD, and almost cried my little eyes out when I found I couldn't edit it again!

A bit of an update, we were texting the other night and he was saying how we should have a night out together, but would have to find a place to crash. This inevitably lead to talking about having sex. I told him I was a bit nervous, to which he replied don't be because I'd make him nervous. I asked why and he said because it's been a long time for him (not as long as me, obviously!!) but yeah, we're definitely going to be doing it, and he's being really nice about it all. I'm just more excited than anything else I guess :rolleyes:

But yeah, thanks everyone, the general conciousness just seems to be to take it easy, relax and just go with it. He's a really lovely guy, so I'm actually really glad he'll be my first.