Is it sexual attraction or romantic attraction to enjoy looking at someone's face?

[BearLover]

Because like looking back on the years, I can remember guys that I've stared at but I can't remember any women that I've stared at.

I do like women for their boobs and vagina but I can't actually remember finding myself looking at them and struggling to look away like some men.

I think i'm a homoromantic bisexual but don't want to draw conclusions yet, I used to wank over this women called lady sonia, she was sexually attractive but I'm not sure if I had any romantic attraction to her, I kind of ignored her face and focused on her tits, I wasn't too bothered about what she looked like but with men, I find some of them really eye catching. I can remember a guy that used to teach me at college, he noticed I liked him before I did, he said to me in a room one time "You keep on looking at me.", he knew.

But yeah, with women I just think about having sex with them but I don't think of them in a way that I like men, I look at men and dream of kissing one on a nice sunny beach, but with women I just think "tits". I did actually fall in love with my boss and still think about him now even though I haven't seen him in a few months, but with women I'm not sure if I'm romantically attracted to them, I don't feel like staring at them like I do with men, I don't think I'm gay, just a homoromantic bisexual maybe.

[AGuyIKnow]

You should more gay than hetero but does it really matter? Are you just looking for a label to attach yourself to? Bisexual still seems to apply.

It could ask be that you haven't met a woman that you're actually attracted to either.

[jem_is_bi]

My impression is that you are closer to gay than heterosexual. It would be better if that did not make you unhappy. Also, that does not mean your ideal soul-mate will be male. But, it maybe. If you rule out that possibility, will you eventually regret it?

[tenni]

For me, romantic(emotional) attraction happens when you spend time thinking of the person to the point of making imaginary plans spending time with them. Sexual attraction alone (can be both) is somewhat timeless and focused on body parts (usually sexual part). It has a lust quality to it of wanting immediacy or sexual orgasm.

As far as attraction to genders, I prefer to look at bisexuality as the opposite of monosexuality. That is the attraction to male and female. Bisexuality involves attraction to both either serially or duality of attraction at the same time. Contrary to a Kinsey scale of attraction, bisexuals are not on a linear scale at all. We are distinguished by the ability to be dual gender attraction whether sexually exclusively or romantically(emotionally). If the OP finds that he is inclined to look at same gender faces but more sexual organs of opposite gender, that is just how he lives as a bisexual. It doesn't mean that he is more homosexual because that is using monosexual measuring devices instead of bisexual criteria.

[pole_smoker]

For me, romantic(emotional) attraction happens when you spend time thinking of the person to the point of making imaginary plans spending time with them. Sexual attraction alone (can be both) is somewhat timeless and focused on body parts (usually sexual part). It has a lust quality to it of wanting immediacy or sexual orgasm.

As far as attraction to genders, I prefer to look at bisexuality as the opposite of monosexuality. That is the attraction to male and female. Bisexuality involves attraction to both either serially or duality of attraction at the same time. Contrary to a Kinsey scale of attraction, bisexuals are not on a linear scale at all. We are distinguished by the ability to be dual gender attraction whether sexually exclusively or romantically(emotionally). If the OP finds that he is inclined to look at same gender faces but more sexual organs of opposite gender, that is just how he lives as a bisexual. It doesn't mean that he is more homosexual because that is using monosexual measuring devices instead of bisexual criteria.
It's neither sexual attraction, or love/romantic attraction to like looking at someone's face.

Love, actual love, and romance are not the same thing. Real love takes time, and has nothing to do with sex, or even lust which Tenni describes in both paragraphs.

Some people just have handsome or beautiful faces. My partner and I happen to be both be considered very handsome, and we have people tell us this all the time. To us, it is just a compliment and it does not mean the person wants us sexually or romatically, or is lusting after us.

I know gay men who are not sexually attracted to women at all; but they like how some women's faces look, or do notice a beautiful woman.

It's like this with hetero women and men too, they can recognize beauty in the same gender, or someone of the same gender being aesthetically handsome but there's no sexual attraction there since they're not sexually attracted to the same gender.

Either way, you're bisexual and you should just enjoy it, and not overthink it, or over-analyze it. I know bisexual men who are more into men for partnerships and love; but they're sexually attracted to women and just want only sex with women. This doesn't make you "mostly gay" or "more gay" as these are terms used by people who are bisexual but don't always want to admit to it, and so they bow towards monosexist labels to describe their sexuality instead.

Plus, your sexual attractions can always change since you are bisexual.

[Melody Dean]

My partner and I happen to be both be considered very handsome, and we have people tell us this all the time. To us, it is just a compliment and it does not mean the person wants us sexually or romatically, or is lusting after us.

You realize that no one here is going to believe you and just think this is a bit of narcissism. At the same time, I doubt you'd ever post pics. I'm not critiquing, just observing, because I'm in the same boat.

[pole_smoker]

You realize that no one here is going to believe you and just think this is a bit of narcissism. At the same time, I doubt you'd ever post pics. I'm not critiquing, just observing, because I'm in the same boat.
You should know by now, that I don't care what other people think about me. ;)

No I won't post pics of myself, or my partner. They would just be spread around by the many trolls here.

[Melody Dean]

You should know by now, that I don't care what other people think about me. ;)

No I won't post pics of myself, or my partner. They would just be spread around by the many trolls here.

Yeah, you're probably right. Worth a try though.

[nomorenomore]

Interesting discussion, for a change. :tongue:
I find it interesting that tenni dissed the Kinsey Scale which is used widely. I am of the same mindset that people should be free to love whomever they wish and be however they like, but in the end, we all have been weighed, measured, and found wanting. I think a lot of these scales and measures are well meaning in help to show the fluidity of man, yet, they also are used as measures to limit and demean. Sometimes these labels serve to define us. In some ways giving a clinical approval of how we envision ourselves. Our way of pointing to a study or scale and say, see I exist. Yet, then on the other hand, it does not take into account the fluidity of life. We are not only modeled and driven by genetics, but also by our environment, society, level of nurturing and circle of friends. As these change in our lives, we adapt and change also.
Take my case. Before my breakdown fifteen years ago, I never even heard the term bisexual. I was raised Catholic. I was almost a priest. When I was in the Air Force in the 70's, I had been propositioned on at least four occasions. I turned them all down for fear of being labeled Gay and thrown out of the service with a dishonorable discharge. That would certainly cement my Father's position that I was useless, can't do nothing, good for nothing, kid. (This despite exelling in school, honor roll student, Rotarian Award winner, Best Actor for the County two years running and tied for the States both those years.) I look back now and regret that decision to turn them down. Even after I did, it left me for days, questioning. I was not repulsed, just afraid of society and labels. I had grown up as a kid as an effiminate child that had the "girl" beat out of me. My parents even threatened to cut off my hands if I didn't stop walking around with a limp wrist. All of that and other things culminating in a major breakdown with identity issues in my 40's. I ended up with stress-induced gender dysphoria. My psych and I worked on breaking me down and getting rid of all the labels and preconceived notions of who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. Every time she would ask me what I thought, I would start by saying that this person said I should, or that person said I should, or society thinks I should, and she would stop me. She would repeat, I asked YOU what YOU thought, I don't care about anyone else. It took a while but soon I started to redevelop who I was. Part of that was discovering that I was potentially bisexual. I say potentially because, even to this day, I have never laid with a man of my own free will and accord. Oh, I played with my best friend a bit growing up. We even stuck each others penises in our mouths, but didn't bob or anything. Just placed it on there and off again, because, after all, that was Gay! We did that maybe once or twice. I remembered wanting more but so afraid of that Gay label. I had seen a kid in school, that in retrospect, I believed was transgendered. The kids ruthlessly teased, prodded, punched, kicked and humiliated Arthur, or Martha as they called him. With that in mind, I never wanted to be labeled Gay. Well, with my psychs help, she told me that there isn't black and white, but shades of gray and that I might be attracted to both sexes. It was also during this time that the memories came back of being taken into the woods by one of the older kids and molested. My only reaction to that, as I walked back up my street with an assfull, was that next time I should charge. It wasn't to be, fortunately, as he and his brother were arrested shortly after.
Well, sorry, I could go on, but in the end, I find that labels are both useful and limiting. I prefer to reexamine who I am from time to time. If that requires applying a new label then so bit it. I kind of like the one that I got when I took the Flexuaility Survey, flexuality {dot} com. It showed me as ambisexual, able to have sex with either sex. Flexiamorous, able to fall in love with both sexes. With side scores of heteroflexible and Queer. Oddly, I didn't score at all in either Straight or Gay, so I am not extreme. There is a secondary scale that deals with other aspects, where I scored middle of the road for Metamorphic, which means that I am gender changeable, transitioning, where I am in the process of changing from one aspect to another. Kind of goes along with my growing acceptance of my sexuality and gender identity. I also scored high on Restrained since I do hold back expressing myself for fear of societal and family backlash. I also need to be concerned for my wife, since she is a wonderful person and I don't want her hurt.
So yeah, labels. In some ways, they are needed, but in other ways limiting. Be free. Be who YOU believe yourself to be. I believe in the Druid belief, "Do as ye will, but do no harm."