Do husbands spy on wifes?

[Lorcan]

I was just reading the thread called "A Computer Question" and it lead me to wonder: Do husbands spy on wifes? Do they look for stuff they did online? Read their emails? Do they search their purses or wallets for unknown phone numbers?

Or is it just wives who are untrusting?

(i'm a space alien studying humans)

[Reprob8]

I would hope that niether of us would feel the need to spy on each other.

[ScifiBiJen]

I agree with Reprob8. I think spying on a spouse indicates a serious lapse in communication (in both directions) and trust.

[taz67156]

if we have to spy on each other than it is showing no trust at all if we can't trust our spouse then who can we trust.

[wanderingrichard]

:eek: funny, i'm a human studying intergalactic aliens!!!

actually, to answer the question, yes it happens both ways.. my brother and both ex wives are proof of that, as is my ex and her 3 other ex's...[ all after she and i split]

most of the time i think there was never enough trust in a relationship from either side, or even just one side, for it to have ever really been ready to move to marriage..maybe we should make potential married couples take a trust test beforehand to cut down on the divorce rate?? [ being a feces, er, i mean, farcicial, here, you know that , right?]

[Mrs. Taz]

gotta be careful to, cause when you think they are spying on you they might just be looking to see what your doing or who your talking to, see if they can find out something they didnt know about you that you accidently forgot to tell them or just to see if it might be you they are talking about, to see what you think of them. I really wouldnt classify that as spying. just curiosity.

[yaknowthatguy]

I've read my wife's email about her lovers - when she's forwarded it to me.

We have little need for secrets, something we'd established when we first started seeing each other. Our lives are much better for it too. It's so much better to just be honest, that way anything can be addressed. Not that it's always easy, it isn't - but honesty provides a better base for everything else than does mistrust.

[Long Duck Dong]

I can't say that I intentionally spy on peoples websurfing, cos I don't give a rats what they look at..... but cos of some of the people using my comp, getting viruses and trojans etc into the comp, I do have a track and trace program that records the cookies, programs and other bits and pieces of each site visited and that allows me to blacklist sites that have harmful programs

a few of my friends got a lil worried, until they saw it records the site number, not the actual site name, tho if they knew that with 2 clicks, I could get all the site details, including files viewed and pages viewed, but they don't need to know that its a lil strange that my ex used to spy on me to see what I was doing, even tho she would watch me edit and splice porn files into long movies...she still had a problem with the idea that i may be watching porn.... watching it ??? i was bloody well creating it using existing files downloaded from the net while she watched.... sighs... women.... * shakes his head *

[dtindh]

It's usually the spouse that is doing wrong that doesn't want the other getting away with it too, so if you are not trusting your spouse, chances are that you are doing something wrong, or they are not very good at not getting caught. I think it is mostly a woman thing to spy on the spouse, by going through emails, etc

[UnclearOnItAll]

I don't think any sex has a monoply on jealousy or mistrust and I'm sure spying is probably just a common both ways.

[paul3636]

It seems to me that everything mrs. taz says implys SPYING
paul






gotta be careful to, cause when you think they are spying on you they might just be looking to see what your doing or who your talking to, see if they can find out something they didnt know about you that you accidently forgot to tell them or just to see if it might be you they are talking about, to see what you think of them. I really wouldnt classify that as spying. just curiosity.

[Mrs.F]

I agree with Reprob8. I think spying on a spouse indicates a serious lapse in communication (in both directions) and trust.

Exactly!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you feel the need to follow your spouse/partner around to find out every little detail as to what they are doing......then you obviously do not have good communication or trust. Something is seriously lacking in your relationship.

[Nara_lovely]

Well, my ex-hubby did read my emails, both sent and received, went through all my writing files, and meticulously checked the phone records....so I guess he had his reasons, but I found it quite unacceptable.
Yet I was honest with him about my life.

I don't think it's a male or female trait by any means. It's a sign of a deeper problem within a relationship.

[Sparks]

Never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[deremarc]

Does spying happen by both sexes? Yes.
Is spying wrong? Yes.
Are there situations where you need to spy? Yes.
Does spying indicate a lack of trust. Yes. OF course!
Does spying indicate a lack of communication? Yes. Of course, again!

I'm the wife. I have spied on my husband. He knows it, I know it.

I have never looked at anything of anyone's before...not my ex in 18 years of marriage...never looked at the computer, phone records, his dresser..wouldn't even get in his wallet if he told me to...not my kids, my ex never got in my stuff....i won't get a phone out of a friend's purse if she asks...i just hand it to her

Do I feel bad about spying? Yes.

But, in some instances I think it is justified. I had valid reasons...instant messages popping up from guys about anal sex...dropped phone calls...calls he wouldn't take with me there....

And, I tried communicating...and he lied. And without snooping I didn't know for sure what was going on. And, we had been tested before we became monogamous, and I thought we were when we weren't.

I'm sorry...but, I told him that saying everyone needs their privacy is just a way to make the other person feel guilty, so that they won't snoop...and allows the person hiding something to continue with no fear of discovery.

Is honesty best? Yes. Do I love my husband and want to stay? Yes. Do I need to check on things to feel safe? Yes. Does trust have to be earned? Yes

[Lisa (va)]

I think it is mostly a woman thing to spy on the spouse, by going through emails, etc

And how did you come to that conclusion?

I have never even been on my husbands computer, much less go through his emails. If I want to know something I simply ask him as he does me. It's about mutual love, trust and respect. He is welcome to see what I am doing when online and has been by my side a few times, never questions my love for him or manipulates my writing (has only asked one question 'which one is horndog' )

If it comes to the point of having to check on every detail, maybe it's time to reevaluate?

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[csrakate]

He (has only asked one question 'which one is horndog' )


ROFLMAO...That should make the "horndog" proud!!!

Hugs,
Kate

[The gentle one]

Not in a healthy, loving, honest relationship. If there is distrust the relationship needs help A.S.A.P or it will crumble.

The gentle one

[Boogie2u]

Spying is a nasty trait that any human can have and to me it usually implies some sort of inadequacy on the part of the person who spies. Everyone on here goes on about trust, i dont believe its anything to do with being in a trustful or untrustful relationship.....
Its about an inadequate person making an informed decision and choice to pry into anothers domain without permission. its a tresspass and a sneaky one at that. All you that do it know that you are wrong in doing it and all i say is 'get a life' and stop prying into mine...
some of you may say 'well you give them just cause to do this.... i say there is NO excuse and dont try to justify your inadequacies to me '

[willbeyours2]

NO ..........I NEVER SPY ON MY WIFE NOR DOES SHE ,WE TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING AND HAVE FROM THE START. GOOD COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO A GOOD RELATIONSHIP, DOES NOT NOT MATTER WIFE, HUSBAND., PARTNER , LOVER IF YOU LOVE AND TRUST THEM NO NEED TO SPY.


BILL

[the sacred night]

Um... everyone DOES need their privacy... it is not a bullshit excuse, it's the truth. I'm not cheating in any manner whatsoever on my fiancee, and yet I STILL would be royally pissed if he spied on me, just on principle. Some couples tell each other every detail of their lives, and that works for them, but there are some things about me that I will never tell a living soul, things that don't necessarily have to do with sex or cheating and that I simply don't want anyone to know, ever, and that is my right. And know what? I would never spy on my fiancee either, even if I did think he was cheating. I would ask him about it, and I might even break up with him over it... but would never, ever, ever in a billion years spy. I might consider that worse than cheating.

[bigregory]

Not me, i just peek in the windows hoping to catch her (so i can join in).
:bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce:
As for the computer hell i get her to type for me cuz she can spel.

[swag85]

personally, im a swinger so i dont have that problem, but i work for a security company, on occasion i do investigationsmost of those, ,are cheating spouses. ive cought 2 females, and one male. its funny to me to watch the extent people will go to hide, things from there spouse. i just laugh, and cash my cheque!
:flag4:

[RebekaLee]

so i'm not married...but my ex fiance would get into my emails and computer lookin and what i've been into. turns out he's the one that wasnt' to be trusted!

[JrzGuy3]

I agree with Reprob8. I think spying on a spouse indicates a serious lapse in communication (in both directions) and trust.

Eh heh heh heh heh...















Kidding! You know I love you!

[ScifiBiJen]

Eh heh heh heh heh...















Kidding! You know I love you!
You're just lucky I love you too. :bigrin: