Keeping Your Secret

[Christopher South]

What lengths do you guys go to keep your identity secret from guys you may meet?

For me:

google voice number
separate email address
never host
never reveal my last name
keep personal info (like employer, address, etc...) secret

I arranged to meet a guy a few months ago and I asked where he lived. He explained that he lived in an upscale apartment building and I'd need to show ID when I checked in with the guard. I had to make a fake ID for a large company in my area so I could show it to the guard.

[bikurinpa]

First thing, I weed out the pic collectors, if they have to have a pic just to chat, and not discuss compatibility issues FIRST, I drop them and add them to the block.
If they are discreet they will understand and not want pics right off.
i also use a separate email account and try to email back and forth to see if they are serious, if they just wanting to chat about hot sexual things, then you can weed them out as gamers, because they are just horny and wanting to chat to get their rock off and have no intention of meeting. If I do see they are interested and serious, I always set up first meet at a Mc Ds or somewhere like that to sit chat and get to know eachother and see if they click. then if all is good, I give a phone number and set up another meet and usually after the 3rd meet may move to hosting and involving in sex. I will give more details on ID, work after am 100% sure things are good, usually 3rd or 4 th meet.best thing is to weed out the pic collectors who have to have a pic just to see if they can recognize you. You will find, 95% the guys who demand a pic first, once you send it, you dont hear back from them , or get their REAL pic.




What lengths do you guys go to keep your identity secret from guys you may meet?

For me:

google voice number
separate email address
never host
never reveal my last name
keep personal info (like employer, address, etc...) secret

I arranged to meet a guy a few months ago and I asked where he lived. He explained that he lived in an upscale apartment building and I'd need to show ID when I checked in with the guard. I had to make a fake ID for a large company in my area so I could show it to the guard.

[12voltyV2.0]

If someone wants a pic early on, I just stop making contact with them. I don't like to share photos, have any of me online anywhere-I don't even post a photo of myself on sites like Facebook, Instagram and others--just photos of landscapes, places I go and of special interest to some special groups I am a member of on there....

I do like to talk with someone for awhile before I ever actually meet them in the flesh--even at a public neutral place. With the amount of time I take with talking to someone---I have a good idea as to whether they are "legit" or not and have vetted them pretty good by that point.

No doubt---you have to take care these days-

[cuttin2dachase]

I live alone and don't currently have a wife or girlfriend, so that makes it much easier to be more open than a married, divorced or attached man can be. There's nobody looking over my shoulder or snooping on my laptop or mobile phone, but I still have them password protected and set to lock when I'm not using them. I'm on quite a few mm sites, swingers' sites and mf adult sites. I have no qualms at all about posting body/cock pics online or about emailing them to interested men using only what I refer as my kinky bi private email address. Many of them do turn out to be pic collectors and posers, but it doesn't bother me if I never hear from them again, I just write them off and move on. But I do not ever post a profile pic in which my face is recognizable. Also I neither ask for nor email face pics. If a man insists on a face pic, he has no chance of meeting me and I write him off. When I contact a man or am contacted by a man, I do not give out my name, just the initial of my first name. I will tell a guy what businesses or main roads or landmarks I am near and ask him what he is near. I've found that the nearer a man lives to me, the more likely it is that he'll be interested in meeting at some point if there's mutual desire to do so. When I have chatted or emailed sufficiently with a man to feel comfortable about him and am interested in meeting him, I will reveal my mobile number and invite him to text or call me. Many guys don't trust easily and will not give out their mobile numbers or text or call me and reveal their numbers even though I tell them they can hide their numbers if they wish, so I write them off too. My family and all my many str8 friends don't have even the remotest idea or suspicion that I could be bi and kinky. I keep my secret bi double life activities completely separated from my activities on mainstream social media sites and do not attach or reveal my mobile number on those mainstream sites either. I also do not have any personal information or my mobile # attached to my kinky private email address or to my "straight" email address. I have no hesitation inviting men to my place if it has gotten to the point where I feel comfortable in doing so. Most men would rather do that than meet in public first, but I am willing to meet for a beer or drinks at a nearby pub with the men who do want a public meetup first. After the mutual decision to meet is established, I will give out my apartment complex's address, but not my apartment number. It's my rule that I do not give out my apartment number until my guest has arrived in the parking lot and texts me that he is here. Of course if we hit it off and want to meet again, it is no longer necessary to be cautious with them. To me, meeting a man for the 1st time is like having a blind date with a woman. Except that 99% of men I meet end up in my bed on the 1st date LOL It is always a risk for me to invite a new man and he is also taking a risk coming to visit. However if there is a mutual comfort level, it becomes a calculated and reduced risk to both of us. I've found that the reward for taking such calculated risks is well worth it, especially when there is immediate sexual gratification.

[bw299]

I use an alias, an alias email account, don't give out pics, and don't give out my address or phone number. My phone is password protected. I don't reveal personal information. After I have met with someone enough to feel comfortable with them, then I decide what information I am willing to give up.

[SilkyHoseLover]

I'm very open and honest, but careful.

I use a pseudonym or alias for forum ID/handle, and an email account that's separate from my 'everyday' email, and not populated with any identifying personal information. I freely enjoy sharing pictures in my profile and with others who are interested in seeing what I have to offer, but none will include face or other identifiable features.

I also freely share true experiences and stories of what I find enjoyable and am seeking. They are always fact-based and detailed, omitting only actual names of persons and locations that should not become public knowledge.

After establishing an online friendship, I don't mind revealing my true first name, but prefer being addressed by the pseudonym. (which makes me feel sexier, anyway...) I never reveal my last name, or address -- until such a time as we play at my home. But, by this time, I've become comfortable with the other man. (or gurl ;))

If a meeting is arranged, it'll be a a local coffee shop or restaurant, with full discretion expected and given, and vanilla attire and demeanor is the order of the day. I'll sit at the table and happily discuss crossdressing and sucking cock -- very discreetly -- but there will be no outward signs of what I enjoy the most. I'm just the 'old guy next door'...

On the day of meeting for the first time, I will provide a cellphone number in the event that something comes up that causes a change of plans for either of us. After meeting, the disposition of the other person's number will be decided, whether to keep it in a private area of my phone, or to block it from further communications, altogether. Any calls or texts that were made in the course of conducting the meeting are erased. If I've decided to keep the number for future reference, all alerts/rings/incoming texts will be silenced, unless I am reason to expect a call or text, as is the case on the day of a meeting or play session.

It's a fine line to walk, and can be a dangerous one. I like to be forthcoming with those who share my passions, yet steps have to be taken to safeguard my privacy and safety.

[CurEUs_Male]

I'm not so worried about keeping a secret from others on sites I am on, and those looking for the same male closeness I seek.

First I tell men that reach out to me, and have it on my profile, that I am out to my wife..
Those that stick around and try to explain why they can't be out to their wives... I share stories of those I know that have been through the discovery by a spouse, and the pain it entials. Topped off by my estimation it is a matter of when, not if, the spouse finds out...

A few men I meet are out to their wives, and so it is this small percentage that understand and respect what is going on well enough to really open up with.

and gay single men, but not so many of them want anything to do with bi married guys...

[jem_is_bi]

I have had relationship with the same male partner for close to 15 years. Neighbors know about our relationship and have no problem. One of them is a good (straight) friend of mine. Family is a different story. They only know him to be friend of mine. If (when) they discover differently, they will unlikely be supportive. But, I am very comfortable and happy with my life, so that will not burden me too much. Hopefully, they will have an attitude change. Then there is work. That is where I have the privileged to do all that I can to enhance the lives of others as well as contribute to science into the future. I never have and never will mix work with my private life. That would distract me and interfere from what I hope to achieve. I do not employ special tactics to conceal my life from others. Nor do I make any effort to inform others of life with my partner.

[SilkyHoseLover]

I never have and never will mix work with my private life.
Good on ya! This is an important characteristic that is sorely lacking in today's world, especially with certain groups of in-your-face activists who like to inflict their way of life on others who feel differently. In *most* instances, sexuality has nothing to do with workplace performance.

[Exploring4fun]

I go by an alternate name not too different from my own. I have a never call or text me policy. I do the texting and calling. This usually works out because i will only play with couples who are on the same page or older single guys who understand and respect my situation

[Christopher South]

I've read in some marriage forums about wives finding their husbands condoms ("I went to take his sweaty gym clothes out of his gym bag to wash them and I found his condom stash.") For those of us who may have a partner that is unaware of your bi side, how do you keep your "supplies" secret?