Enough is enough...Leaving wife after 20 years to live as full-time open bisexual

[Grant_Norman]

So I've finally had it...don'r get me wrong, I very, very much love my wife of 20 years, but can no longer stand the hypocrisy of her ways. While I have been in closet all along, i do love sucking cock so much that I will move on with the last years of my life living as an open, full-time bisexual...don't care if it is male, female, trans, whatever...I'm going to enjoy sex for the remainder of my life.

My wife cut me off from physical intimacy (of any kind) about 8 years ago) and I will no longer live that way. End of the month I will file divorce papers and disappear to a remote place in the world in which no one (not even my kids) will know where I live and start a new life as an open bisexual. Of course, I will not flaunt it, but I also will no longer deny it at all and certainly will not publicly hide it if asked. I will actively become a member of LGBT community....I truly feel it is right for me.

As I move on I may post updates here occasionally or just go dark...haven't decided yet.

Thanks to all I've met here (some I've even had sex with) and all that have sent me pictures and videos. I can still be reached and slip4296@gmail.com if you wish to communicate.

Bye (bi :))

[Tag200]

Good luck to you

[playful808]

Well, holy shit dude. Don’t isolate. Stay in touch.
We are your support and community.

Give yourself some credit, you really did try hard.
She unilaterally decided to be celibate. And to make you celibate.
You did not fold, she did.

You have been living with her mountain of disapproval and contempt for a long time.
I hope you find a better way.

[KDaddy23]

Wow... I do hope that's not the only reason you've made this decision but it is what it is. And don't you dare vanish!

[Jazminedress]

It would be silly to leave, plus, you might be a first hand experienced help to others dealing with a similar situation

[Grant_Norman]

It isn't just the lack of physical contact of any kind, although that is major part of it...she is an NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and there is extremely limited chance she would recover. She MUST control everything, all the time, in our lives, she has disdain for most everyone, is frequently pushed off (for no reason) and believes I am a subordinate in every situation. I'm not allowed to cook, do dishes or laundry, not even keep my shoes inside and explodes in an instant of anger over most anything. All the time....no, there is a lot to bear other than just no physical intimacy...

[bibliss]

Whenever I face difficult and painful situations, I try to remember that things always change. I try to remember that the problems I face -- however painful and challenging -- won't last forever.

I have a feeling your life circumstance is similarly subject to change. Time heals. And things tend to evolve.

May doors open for you, dear brother.... Light comes through when doors open.

And, echoing what Playful has shared, please stay in touch... you have more to offer than perhaps you're aware...

[csreef]

It isn't just the lack of physical contact of any kind, although that is major part of it...she is an NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and there is extremely limited chance she would recover. She MUST control everything, all the time, in our lives, she has disdain for most everyone, is frequently pushed off (for no reason) and believes I am a subordinate in every situation. I'm not allowed to cook, do dishes or laundry, not even keep my shoes inside and explodes in an instant of anger over most anything. All the time....no, there is a lot to bear other than just no physical intimacy...

Good for you, live your life!
2 cents worth, please keep in touch with your children, and don't go totally dark, please keep in touch with all of us who will give you support! :flag1:

[GayGuy04]

Hey good for you live your life and hope it works out for you. Hope you keep in touch with is here and don't just leave. :) :)

[redngoldpride]

Life goes by so quickly it never , ever made any sense to me to deny yourself whatever it is that you desire , need , crave but do not isolate yourself be there to explore and discover , I am so very sorry that you do not have a supportive willing partner ...... Hang in there have fun be safe ENJOY , ENJOY , ENJOY

[Flypaper]

An echo of what the others have said. Embrace the opportunity to be fully open with your freedom and sexuality, but uncouple the problems with your soon to be ex wih your sexuality. Sounds like the relationship went south for other reasons beyond the physical.

And don’t go dark to other loved ones. Or us.


It isn't just the lack of physical contact of any kind, although that is major part of it...she is an NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and there is extremely limited chance she would recover. She MUST control everything, all the time, in our lives, she has disdain for most everyone, is frequently pushed off (for no reason) and believes I am a subordinate in every situation. I'm not allowed to cook, do dishes or laundry, not even keep my shoes inside and explodes in an instant of anger over most anything. All the time....no, there is a lot to bear other than just no physical intimacy...

[Long Duck Dong]

It isn't just the lack of physical contact of any kind, although that is major part of it...she is an NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and there is extremely limited chance she would recover. She MUST control everything, all the time, in our lives, she has disdain for most everyone, is frequently pushed off (for no reason) and believes I am a subordinate in every situation. I'm not allowed to cook, do dishes or laundry, not even keep my shoes inside and explodes in an instant of anger over most anything. All the time....no, there is a lot to bear other than just no physical intimacy...

It takes a very special person to handle a NPD relationship / marriage.... reading that, I get your need to pack your bags and hit the road..... I will admit your first post gave a different impression, lol but yeah reading this, the first post is the life you will have after you get your own life back.....

I wish you all the best of luck and lots of great sex and I reckon the new you will be even better and happier

[playful808]

NPD - well … shit. It fits with your other statements.
Conservative, right-wing, christian, republican, self-centered, controlling. And NPD.

So, how do you have a healthy intimate relationship … with a person who has an untreated major personality disorder?

Well, usually, you can’t. Some things are just out of your hands. You can not change her, or save her.
You will always be the bad guy in her personal horror movie. This can never be a win-win scenario.
I am sorry you have been living with this.

[zbi73]

Best of luck to you, hope everything works out well.

[Grant_Norman]

Thanks to you all for your support...it is VERY MUCH appreciated. I probably shouldn't have said "go dark"...I'm just concerned with ever revealing my location to anyone until this has all been settled...all of you have been very supportive and I DO appreciate it...I will plan to periodically keep everyone updated (both on divorce AND my sexual exploits as an open bisexual) I'm looking forward to the emotional and sexual freedom for the remainder of my life. Thanks!

[querty]

I hope you find your way to the life and happiness you seek. Stay in touch with those you love, especially your children.

I have a brother that broke bad a few years ago. I believe him to be a Class A narcissist (and a class A other things as well). He inflicted a great deal of damage on our extended family. So I can relate at least a little about wanting to go off the grid until things settle. But it may take awhile.

Good luck to you! Stay in touch.

Peter

[Footstep40]

Give this a little read, helped me and mine.

https://mixedorientation.com/ (https://mixedorientation.com/)

[playful808]

“… to live as full-time open bisexual”

Being out is not a golden ticket to happiness, mental hygiene or a playboy lifestyle.

I am openly bi, full-time, as you say. Have been for decades now. So no secrets, lies, sneaking, hiding, closets, etc. None. I have paid a price for this honesty and transparency - in the loss of a few jobs and friends - but being out has been very good for my spirit, peace of mind, mental health, relationships, personal development, personal integrity. It is part of my identity - I am bi and I am an unapologetic ethical slut.

[Grant_Norman]

Thanks, Playful

[Grant_Norman]

I do not expect being openly bi will solve all in my life...its just all these years of trying to reconcile it with my wife has been a real issue for me to mentally deal...I'm looking forward to being free to be just who I am. I'm not going to run up to people and shout "Hey, I'm bisexual" no, I'm just not going to worry any longer about hiding it (or denying). In situations where a guy, trans or whatever hits on me I'll just be open to the possibility.

My two regulars are a "bi couple" and seem so basically normal to me (although one is starting to get Alzheimer's) and the other now is really looking to me for blow jobs (which I certainly don't mind, but their normal relationship is slowly dissolving) they been together for well over 30 years and have at least 14 kids between them from earlier marriages.

Point is, they're just people like everyone here on the forum...the bi-ness is just one facet of their lives (and yes, many of us here truly enjoy it) but life goes on for all of us...and I'm more looking forward to mine just going on and no longer having any qualms about my love of cock...it is just who I am.

[Blondeblowjob7]

Well best of luck to you, oralswallow65! I’m in similar circumstances. I’m a male cocksucker. As time has gone one I realize that being a cocksucker is my genuine sexuality. I’m not interested in any anal sex, just giving blowjobs. I really wish that my circumstances in life allowed me to be out of the closet as a full-time male cocksucker, since that’s my true sexuality. When it comes to sex I’m honestly only interested in sucking cock. Unfortunately, my current circumstances in life don’t allow that. I kind of envy you that you’ve made that decision about your true sexuality.

[Grant_Norman]

Well best of luck to you, oralswallow65! I’m in similar circumstances.

Sorry to hear you are not free to pursue your own sexuality...Yes, I am VERY MUCH an avid cocksucker ...sucked up to 5 a week until USA did their crap on Craigslist (I'm glad we are so protected) Since CL demise have only found about 3 new hookups...pretty pathetic for amount of sucking I was doing...have had a few of my regulars, but even that is starting to dry up....as I've said many times, I could easily swallow several load of cum every day...hopefully with my new life, that will become more a reality

[RisingBi]

I'm glad you've found your self-identity and are so happy with it. That is wonderful! I also think that cocksucking is awesome. I struggled with my own sexuality. For 20 years of cocksucking I considered myself bi-confused, because my experiences in person were not the same as in my fantasies and desires, but for a few exceptions. For me it was the day I went anal for the first time, and having my tongue and then my cock deep inside another man's asshole, that really helped me get in touch with my true bisexuality deep within me, the gay side of me that I was subconsciously repressing most of the times I was naked with another guy and therefore losing my passionate desire for him. After that, I accepted my bisexuality and was actually very happy with it, and feeling much more open and attracted to the guys I hooked up with. But that was me.


But I'm still in the closet myself for the most part (only my therapist, my now ex-girlfriend, and a couple other female friends) know about my bisexuality and promiscuity with men. So I think it's courageous of you to want to live openly as a bi man, and I'm sure that that freedom will be very empowering for you. But I'm wondering if your wish to live openly won't be able to fully manifest if you go hide in "a remote corner of the world", away from all those that know you and love you, or hate you. Of course, I'm not one to preach at all, since I am nowhere near ready to come out to all of my family, relatives, and friends. Because my desire for men is restricted to sex, not romance and love, and it's just desirous attachment for cock and ass, and not about the whole man, like it is with women, I feel I want to still keep my sexual desires private. I've never had any romantic feelings for a guy, but if that ever happened, and I actually had a boyfriend, then that would be different, and I could present him to the world as my boyfriend, and let the chips fall where they may. But anyway, that's just me, and my reason for staying in the closet at this time.


So, again, I don't really have a right to tell you anything about living honestly with everybody. But from what I read, a big part of the freedom people feel in coming out is the cessation of the hiding, as Playful alluded to. And as others have said in this thread, the need to still be around and get the support from people who love you is important. But definitely divorce your wife: I think that's very important for both of you, especially if you love her.


I'm glad you understand that being open will not solve all your problems in life, and how Playful's comment that it is not a golden ticket to happiness is so true. I actually believe that true happiness only comes from loving others. This is also another reason why it might be good to stick around, in your own place, away from your ex-wife, but around everyone who knows you, so you can be helpful to them. Benefitting others, especially those that have benefitted you, is where happiness lies. Though sometimes I mistakenly believe that happiness is a cock down my throat or deep inside my ass, or my cock down another man's throat or deep inside his ass. 🤣

As for finding guys to suck, I agree with you that the whole CraigsList thing is really sad. But there are other ways to find guys. Online there's Grindr, BiCupid, Kik, Squirt (my personal favourite, though it depends on your local area how popular it is in that region), Twitter, and others. Just google "bisexual dating" or "gay dating". You'll need to pay for a membership if you want to take full advantage of any of these tools, but it's worth it. You can certainly also travel to a big city where there are at least gay bars, if not gay bathhouses, arcades, etc.


Whatever you end up doing, I wish you all the very best! Way to go!

Jack

[greengrow]

your kids need their dad .. don't cut them off , I just got divorced from a 2 years sexless marriage , with am insano control freak. I have found a great girlfriend who accepts me for who I am... no need to abandon kiddos, I'm surprised no one else in this thread has mentioned this .. if you abandon them for bi life , it will only create resentment and further tarnish the bi brand .. which as you well know is tarnished enough

[Oborokybiman]

Although I’m so dang happy that you get to choose to be happy as who you want to be and have to be! I don’t know you or your situation. However, the worst part of this is closing out your (I’m assuming adult Children). Your wife took the choice away from you 8 years ago. But your children will always need their dad especially during a divorce. Just because they are not at home any longer, believe me they still need you! And really, you are mad and fed up with how your wife has treated you and with reason!
In my situation, when I left my wife, some of the reasons you are leaving your wife, I couldn’t handle anymore of her ridicule, her belittling and her control over every aspect of my life! She knew of my sexuality when I left her the first time and she agreed to keep it under wraps in order to “try again!” That was very short lived! I never went back to “Our bed” with her. I stayed in our sons room til I left again for good. Our son was 11 at the time and it about killed me to leave him. when I divorced her and everything was said and done. She decided to tell our son I was gay and that’s why I left Them! I didn’t leave him, I left her sorry ass!
Even though I expected him to hate me, he told me all of these years (5 to be exact) that he needs me more than ever and has no respect for his mom. Just remember what you expect your children to do....if you drop them like your planning on doing to your wife, you will miss them tremendously! At the very least talk to them before telling your wife your plans! I think it will be worth it!

[biwmtrucker44]

It isn't just the lack of physical contact of any kind, although that is major part of it...she is an NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) and there is extremely limited chance she would recover. She MUST control everything, all the time, in our lives, she has disdain for most everyone, is frequently pushed off (for no reason) and believes I am a subordinate in every situation. I'm not allowed to cook, do dishes or laundry, not even keep my shoes inside and explodes in an instant of anger over most anything. All the time....no, there is a lot to bear other than just no physical intimacy... I am surprised you didn't leave earlier. Enjoy your new life you deserve it .

[Grant_Norman]

and was actually very happy with it, and feeling much more open and attracted to the guys I hooked up with.
Jack

I , too, really found my "true" bi-self when I moved on to just loving to suck and tuly enjoying being an anal bottom...I do so much also love having a nice cock fucking me, and can see the reason women would love one thrusting in them.

Also, for me the man is all about the cock also. I do feel friendship an would like male friends, but real love I feel only for women at this time (could change)...but I so much love women's personalioties, looks and bodies - do love to touch and eat them(would have hard time deciding if there were a pussy to eat or cock to suck which I'd do first, but definitely do both...again that ha all confirmed for me strongly that I'm bisexual (and at least at this time) wouldn't be full out "gay"...but again, who knows where I'm headed.

My kids live (and will live) far from me after I leave...so I do not think I will come out to them....rest of my family is dead, including my very, very best guy friend (we were never sexual) who died 5 years ago...in fact, missing him probably set off my bi activity.

Thanks for your comments , Jack

[Grant_Norman]

your kids need their dad .. don't cut them off , I just got divorced from a 2 years sexless marriage , with am insano control freak. I have found a great girlfriend who accepts me for who I am... no need to abandon kiddos, I'm surprised no one else in this thread has mentioned this .. if you abandon them for bi life , it will only create resentment and further tarnish the bi brand .. which as you well know is tarnished enough


I have no intention of abandoning them...just moving on to full electronic only communication...I really don't see them much now anyhow...I used to go see them once in awhile, but they never came to see me much.

Living remotely and once the divorce crap is all over, there will be opportunity to come see me if they want...I just won't have my "bi on" if they do

Thanks

[Grant_Norman]

..if you drop them like your planning on doing to your wife, you will miss them tremendously! At the very least talk to them before telling your wife your plans! I think it will be worth it!

Actually, I will be calling them immediately and setting up regular ways to email...also, my mail is being forwarded to my son so I will eventually have contact with him. Only reason I'm going "dark" for everyone else is I do not wish to ever talk with my "ex" wife again....although we have only been married 20 years, I let her fuck up a lot of my life for 50 years....no more

[Neonaught]

Sorry to hear you are not free to pursue your own sexuality...Yes, I am VERY MUCH an avid cocksucker ...sucked up to 5 a week until USA did their crap on Craigslist (I'm glad we are so protected) Since CL demise have only found about 3 new hookups...pretty pathetic for amount of sucking I was doing...have had a few of my regulars, but even that is starting to dry up....as I've said many times, I could easily swallow several load of cum every day...hopefully with my new life, that will become more a reality

Check out Doublelist. It's the new Craigslist but just about hooking up.

[Grant_Norman]

Check out Doublelist. It's the new Craigslist but just about hooking up.

Yes, I have tried Doublelist multiple times but have only been able to make one actual hook-up

[stonebow]

Takes a lot of courage to take back your life. Good luck and be safe.

[Grant_Norman]

Thank you....looking forward to it...just 3 more days...hope airlines don't screw it up...have fall back plan to stay with regulars, which wouldn't be terrible ...daily blow jobs

[JohnnyBisexual]

Thst was an excellent series of articles!

[Grant_Norman]

Thst was an excellent series of articles!

Glad you have enjoyed it...hopefully I'll have a clean break and can start living life as I really am