A question for Swingers.

[dowmass]

I understand the concept of an "Open marriage", between a man and a woman.
I hear some real yummy stories of married couples that are swingers.. stories of threesomes and more. These stories are saucy and wonderful. to say the least.

I know that common sense dictates that the woman or (women) be on the pill... I would guess with condoms on threesomes or more are NO fun. (I hear about the men here eating cum out a woman's pussy - that can't happen with a condom)


Have you come across cases where a woman forgot the pill and ended up pregnant...?
Is there a sense of guilt or sorrow when this happens.? What is the recourse, and
After the solution, does swinging go on as if nothing really happened?


I am curious to hear some stories and perspectives on this situation.

[SilkyHoseLover]

Well, we used to experiment with swinging and I have some pretty interesting stories, but nothing that relates to any of this! I doubt you'll see a lot of responses, but who knows?

[mr bill]

my wife and i were swingers for years until our 1st kid56188 my wife is the blond

[dowmass]

my wife and i were swingers for years until our 1st kid56188 my wife is the blond


Nice!!

[fredward]

I think you're asking about a fantasy scenario that doesn't occur very often in real life. That's no disrespect to you, it's just not very likely IMHO. Swingers are mostly just normal people pretty much, except that they have sex with others outside their primary life-partner relationship.

The reality is that most swingers are middle aged (40+) who have already had their kids. They are now bored with their sex life, aware of their creeping mortality, and are looking to spice things up a bit in bed, with their partner along for the ride. They are generally really NOT interested in risking a pregnancy. Like really NOT.

While "no condom" is the standard for non-penetrative play, condoms ARE almost universally required for any vaginal (or anal) penetration involving a penis. The exceptions are for small tightly knit groups who may decide not to use condoms within their group. This isn't universally true, but in my experience it is broadly true.

If someone became pregnant thru swinging unplanned, probably that couple would drop out of sight for a while and not tell anyone b/c it's awkward. So if it did happen, it would likely not be something you would hear about easily.

[dowmass]

I think you're asking about a fantasy scenario that doesn't occur very often in real life. That's no disrespect to you, it's just not very likely IMHO. Swingers are mostly just normal people pretty much, except that they have sex with others outside their primary life-partner relationship.

The reality is that most swingers are middle aged (40+) who have already had their kids. They are now bored with their sex life, aware of their creeping mortality, and are looking to spice things up a bit in bed, with their partner along for the ride. They are generally really NOT interested in risking a pregnancy. Like really NOT.

While "no condom" is the standard for non-penetrative play, condoms ARE almost universally required for any vaginal (or anal) penetration involving a penis. The exceptions are for small tightly knit groups who may decide not to use condoms within their group. This isn't universally true, but in my experience it is broadly true.

If someone became pregnant thru swinging unplanned, probably that couple would drop out of sight for a while and not tell anyone b/c it's awkward. So if it did happen, it would likely not be something you would hear about easily.


Very informative.. great perspective.. Thanks!!
I wasn’t aware that many swingers would use condoms. That’s an eye opener, for sure.

[stevelover]

I think you're asking about a fantasy scenario that doesn't occur very often in real life. That's no disrespect to you, it's just not very likely IMHO. Swingers are mostly just normal people pretty much, except that they have sex with others outside their primary life-partner relationship.

The reality is that most swingers are middle aged (40+) who have already had their kids. They are now bored with their sex life, aware of their creeping mortality, and are looking to spice things up a bit in bed, with their partner along for the ride. They are generally really NOT interested in risking a pregnancy. Like really NOT.

While "no condom" is the standard for non-penetrative play, condoms ARE almost universally required for any vaginal (or anal) penetration involving a penis. The exceptions are for small tightly knit groups who may decide not to use condoms within their group. This isn't universally true, but in my experience it is broadly true.

If someone became pregnant thru swinging unplanned, probably that couple would drop out of sight for a while and not tell anyone b/c it's awkward. So if it did happen, it would likely not be something you would hear about easily.

This is our feeling, and experience as well. There are some who bareback, we don't play with them.

[mike r]

years ago , my wife and i were swingers (no bi activity for guys at this club) oral sex was condom free., but intercourse was rubbers all the way

[KDaddy23]

With my first wife, pregnancy wasn't an issue since she had her tubes tied after our last child... but I've heard stories of open marriage pregnancies happening.

[fredward]

Increasingly, MM play seems to be becoming more acceptable within in the swinging community where I live (near Toronto). Some venues explicitly cater to it (e.g., Oasis), others have special "bi nights" (M4, Ozone), and I doubt anyone would give your grief for it at the other clubs, tho maybe you might still get a raised eyebrow. That said, it's still not super common to see MM play on a random night at the clubs. Oasis is the most likely, and does a great job of trying to be a place for everyone (esp. trans and non-binary people, who may be shut out of gay venues). However, Oasis is on the edge of Toronto's gay village, so if you're really more gay than bi you're probably more interested in one of the gay saunas, including one right next door to Oasis; that probably limits the amount of MM play you will see there.

Currently, I think most of the MM play within the swinging community is happening at private homes in small gatherings and house parties. For example, all of my MM play with my wife there has happened in a private place (home or hotel room).

It's clear from the local swinger's websites that MM play is here to stay, and bi-phobic (or LBGT*-phobic) comments in the forums there are usually called out quickly.

[azirish]

I agree, its scary still how many men (sometimes couples or females) want to bareback even in this day of STD/HIV. I make it know right away, condoms are mandatory with me for men and women. This has turned off many men, and one couple recently.



This is our feeling, and experience as well. There are some who bareback, we don't play with them.

[dowmass]

I agree, its scary still how many men (sometimes couples or females) want to bareback even in this day of STD/HIV. I make it know right away, condoms are mandatory with me for men and women. This has turned off many men, and one couple recently.


I have never barebacked. It’s too much of a risk for 30 minutes of pleasure.

The only exception would be committed MM or MFM or MFMF groups where people get tested ( then again the question would be- what does one do if he/ she tests positive for STI?)

Even on the two times i bottomed safely, I got tested and it was negative.

I know this sounds paranoid for some.