Washington Blade: Bisexuals say they’re misunderstood, ostracized

[glantern954]

The Washington Blade has published another article in which they interviewed several bisexuals for the content.

Coming out bi is unique challenge
Bisexuals say they’re misunderstood, ostracized

By JOSHUA LYNSEN
Friday, October 06, 2006


Gay activist Alexei Guren wasn’t sure what to expect when he came out as bisexual.

As a leading member of several gay organizations in Miami, Guren thought his announcement at age 22 in 1984 might spur some skepticism.

“But I didn’t expect the level of anger and suspicion that I had thrown at me,” he said. “Within a very short time, I had been asked to resign from most of the organizations, and lost the majority of my friends.”

Guren, who had identified publicly as gay since age 16, was labeled a traitor.

“My hurt at their anger and suspicion manifested itself in feelings of anger and betrayal,” he said, “to the point where I relocated to another state so I could begin life anew as a bisexual man.”


To read the rest of the article:
http://www.washblade.com/2006/10-6/news/national/bi.cfm

[DiamondDog]

Interesting article. I do agree with the article about how being this way isn't about being half gay or het even if I do joke about that with my gay/bi friends. Or I will also joke and use the label a fence sitter hehehe. Or when a gay friend and I talked about how I am he joked about me being a poon hound. hehe

This quote describes how it is for myself: “Gender is just not a barrier to who I am capable of falling in love with or being attracted to,” she said. “I look for similar personality qualities regardless of the gender of the person.”

I do agree with what people wrote about the whole stereotype of: "you need same gender experience to determine if you're bi or not" when it's not that way. Or how people seem to think that you need to fill a quota of people you have relationships or sleep with in order to be bi, when even if you are with one gender how you are still this way.

Gay/lesbian people were even accepting of me and very supportive when I was just coming to terms with my sexuality and I was confused about being myself when I identified with other orientation labels, was in sort of a limbo, and the terms I'd use to describe myself were all other words for bisexual.

But I do feel more at home in the "gay world" because I feel more at ease there and people aren't as prudish as in the "het world". I guess part of this is because I've always been around gay people and I have very liberal parents, and I think that people in America in general are prudish/take things way too seriously.

For example the whole "slut" stereotype doesn't offend me since gay men joke about being sluts or hos all the time and in most cases if a person is really promiscuious they won't brag or joke about it. And the word slut has new meaning and it's not seen as an insultive word, some examples of this would be the book 'The Ethical slut' or Pat(rick) Califia's collection of SM stories 'Macho sluts'.

I suppose I also feel more at home in the "gay world" because there isn't a bisexual "community". I've been to bi group meetings but I found them to be rather cliquey, very small, way too political (as if the "gay world" isn't but that's another subject), and there's only so much you can talk about bisexuality without beating a dead horse on the subject.

As for the few people who don't understand me I just ignore them or chalk it up to their age. It's mostly really old gay guys who came out at like 40-45 after being married with kids who don't get it.

I also like this quote: “It is just as disrespectful and harmful for a gay or lesbian person to say that bisexuality does not exist as it is for a right-wing fundamentalist to say homosexuality is a sickness that should be cured.”

I may sample that quote sometime, I suggest you all do too.

[happyjoe68]

Sometimes I think: if you believe you are confused you will be ..., if you look for discrimination you will find it ....

People in the queer community can be too "right on" (banner waving, cause supporting, etc), when it comes to leading their lives. This is not to disparage anti-discrimination campaigns, but sometimes its best just to get on with life - its too short and complicated enough even when sexuality and emotions arent involved to make a rod for your own back ...

[tom_uk]

but sometimes its best just to get on with life - its too short and complicated enough even when sexuality and emotions arent involved to make a rod for your own back ...

- "just get on with life", i agree, but sometimes its such sweet fun to kick arse -

tip top tom_uk

[julie]

[QUOTE=happyjoe68]Sometimes I think: if you believe you are confused you will be ..., if you look for discrimination you will find it ....

Yup....soooo true!

[jedinudist]

Josh interviewed me for this piece too. I like the direction he took this in.