In the past men how have other men flirted with you to show interest?

[miamiuu]

Just looking to hear some past examples that some of the men on these boards have experienced when other guys flirted with you. How did they flirt? I have problems telling if someone is just being nice versus flirting seriously. Just for an example I know a bartender makes comments to me like hey babe and winks at me. But this person doesnt seem interested in having long conversations, or asking questions about me. And yeah he could also be working for tips. So right now I dont bother taking it seriously.

[ambi53mm]

Unless someone has been” out and out smack you in the face blatant”. I’ve never ben able to tell. I had a Spanish professor in college who was gay that apparently flirted with me for two semesters and not once did I ever pick up on it. Finally he approached me at a party, told me he was gay and that he’d had a crush on me for over a year. It made me wonder how many other “missed signals” that had been thrown my way unrecognized.
I don’t possess what some describe as “bidar” or “gaydar”. I’ve lived in a hetro world as a hetro for too long I guess. I think I must really suck at flirting as well because the only reaction I’ve ever gotten while dropping those little probing hints of interest, have passed totally unnoticed.
I’ve never had a problem with the opposite sex but when it comes to same sex, I guess some guys have and some guys don’t. LOL I obviously don’t :male:

Ambi :)

[Enoll]

I've only had acouple of guys come on to me before.
The first was the old school bully who tried to force a relationship on me, wich ended up with his jaw broken, so that wasn't a good start.
The second was a guy in a night club, he smiled at me all night whenever
I looked his way and then later offerd to buy me a drink. Too bad I couldn't
do anything beacuse I was with my friends.


I've flirted with other guys before, usually friends of friends of friends who I meet while out on the night.
I'm usually pretty horrible/shy when it comes to the whole flirting thing, I only have my girlfriend now beacuse she's assertive haha.

[warmpuppy]

I was a Sergeant in the Air Force working in the Pentagon. A Lieutenant Colonel who I had known for some time kept asking me to have a drink with him. I finally agreed, not for one moment thinking that there was anything more than friendship involved.

While at the bar, he confessed that he was very attracted to me. After the initial shock, I realized that I was flattered by his come-on and in fact very turned on at the thought of making love to another guy. That he was an Air Force officer made it even more deliciously evil.

We ended up in his apartment that night.

[miamiuu]

I was a Sergeant in the Air Force working in the Pentagon. A Lieutenant Colonel who I had known for some time kept asking me to have a drink with him. I finally agreed, not for one moment thinking that there was anything more than friendship involved.

While at the bar, he confessed that he was very attracted to me. After the initial shock, I realized that I was flattered by his come-on and in fact very turned on at the thought of making love to another guy. That he was an Air Force officer made it even more deliciously evil.

We ended up in his apartment that night.

Uhh, was that your first experience with another guy?

[warmpuppy]

Uhh, was that your first experience with another guy?

It was my second experience as an adult, and the second time I had sucked cock. I experienced some kissing and touching with my first cousin at age 8.

My first experience was with another AF guy in Bangkok...the experience that started it all for real.

[Kuragxo]

I've always been slow on the up-take when it comes to recognizing when someone is flirting with me...:) And I guess I'm not too good at flirting myself. My partner says that for the longest time I came across to her as very "asexual". (I think this is probably true, a defense mechanism I guess, after years of childhood sexual abuse) It's been my partner who has pointed out when I'm being flirted with by both men or women.

[pasco_lol_cpl]

Im ashamed to admit this, but I am so dense that most times unelss a guy comes right out and says "I Like you, I want to get to know you better" I normally have no clue that Im being hit on. Normally its not until well after the fact that I realize that I was being hit on. Yeah its frustrating

[shameless agitator]

I have to admit I miss it most of the time too. The last time I was sure, I was wearing a pin on my jacket with a periwinkle (pink triangle) with a fist superimposed in front of it. It says Gay & Lesbian Liberation. He asked me if that was my pin & when I said yes asked me what clubs I went to & started naming the gay bars he went to. He was very clear about wanting to meet up, but alas was also very clearly not my type.

[DiamondDog]

by touching my facial hair (or asking to), smiling with eye contact, holding my hand, touching my arm, giving compliments/flirting, buying me drinks, kissing/hugging, touching my legs, or giving me a massage.

Or people will say how I look handsome or come up and start talking to me.

There's an art to cruising and flirting with men and women, and it's all based on eye contact and learning how to read people.

[DiamondDog]

I've had men flirt/cruise with me by touching my facial hair (or asking to), smiling with eye contact, holding my hand, touching my arm, giving compliments/flirting, buying me drinks, kissing/hugging, touching my legs, or giving me a massage. I've also had this happen to me from friends and done it to friends and what might seem like flirting to an outsider is just male affection.

Or people will say how I look handsome or come up and start talking to me.

I've also had men twist/tweak my nipples, put their hand directly on my leg, compliment me at a trough/urninal, wrap their arm around me and basically sit in my lap, or grab my crotch. Or some guys will playfully tease your lower back with their hands. :) I met a good group of friends of mine when a friend of mine flirted with me when I was drunk and he did this by trying to look at my chest hair down my shirt. :)

Or I've flirted with friends by spanking them; but I did that to people that I know are into that and into me doing it to them.

There's an art to cruising and flirting with men and women, and it's all based on eye contact, judging someone's interest level, and learning how to read people. Eventually you get so good at it that you can recognize signs like who's doing it to you and how interested they are even in "het" environments.

Keep in mind that it's flirting and it doesn't have to go ANYWHERE and if a guy is interested in you you'll generally KNOW and if you're not interested in him just say no thanks and take it as a compliment. As opposed to women who will hit/flirt with you and then play games and say "oh I was just being nice, not flirting with you" or I've noticed that lots of women will pretend that they're not interested in you at all, and I don't like playing games like that.

Also, some people, myself included will flirt for fun and I'll subconsiously cruise people in a room no matter what their gender is since I am into people watching.

I once had one guy in a club grab my goatee and tell me how I looked hot and he pulled me REALLY close to his face and wanted to kiss me and I told him no thanks; but we had made eye contact earlier when I was sitting at a table with friends. I remember watching him go into the bathroom earlier and I really had to use it but I didn't go in there with him. heh

Or I was dancing with a friend and I saw a hot guy and made eye contact with him from the dancefloor and I walked up to him and said hi and the first words out of his mouth were "Sorry I'm in a commited relationship." ;)

Het men don't like to be cruised, and I have done this before and I'll continue to do it but sometimes they get uncomfortable when a man makes eye contact with them and smiles.

But on the flipside I've had a guy who said he was het flirt with me and he even let me flirt back with him a bit and he said he knew I wasn't het because of the type/pattern of facial hair I had at the time. I was rather drunk and I was leaving the bar and he grasped my hand and actually remembered my name when I had completely forgotten his. This was in a "het" environment too.

Or other male friends of mine that identify as het will flirt with me even though I'm open to them, and it's kinda frustrating. :(

[ezervet]

You know, I'd like to think that if a guy started to rub my back, i'd catch on to the fact that he was trying to flirt with me. I think the harder thing is to catch onto flirting in a het environment.

[gh05t]

I wouldn't have a clue, I'm so bad at telling whether anyone M/F is interested it's a wonder I'm not still a virgin.. Someone has to just come out & say it to my face before I'll notice anything..
It's probably fear, I guess I do pick up on things but always there's always that bit of doubt. After all, there is not much worse than misreading something and accidentally outing yourself in a pub full of phobic bogans (white trash, rednecks, chavs etc) that will rip you limb from limb if they think you are anything but the same as them.
I suppose the easier thing to do would be to stop going to those pubs then huh?
Am I so off topic now that I can't even try to make out this has anything to do with... er..what was the subject again?

[warmpuppy]

I think I just missed one last week at my fitness club. I was just finished dressing after my shower when a naked guy walked by me. He had one of the most beautiful cocks I have ever seen. I watched him as he walked by, and he did turn to look me in the eyes as he proceeded to the bathroom. I got up and walked toward the exit, but noticed that he was in one of the stalls, door open, and standing there looking at me with a terrific hard-on.

I didn't realize the come-on until I was in my car driving home. Damn!!!!

[ambi53mm]

I got up and walked toward the exit, but noticed that he was in one of the stalls, door open, and standing there looking at me with a terrific hard-on.
I didn't realize the come-on until I was in my car driving home. Damn!!!!

Now that WarmPuppy,I would consider "out and out smack you in the face blatant” LOL or in his case hanging out smack me in the face please blatant..does make for some interesting speculation of "what if..." tho. :bigrin:

Ambi :)

[wanderingrichard]

clueless, totally...need help learning to recognize when i'm being flirted with.. doesnt matter what sex either.. wouldnt kno it til they came up and told me directly...

[mannysg]

Add me to the list of "no clue". You gotta come right out and tell me, unfortunately. When women flirt, I can never tell if they are just being friendly, playing, or are serious. The few times that I suspected that a guy was flirting with me, it was someone who I wasn't attracted to. I have tried to flirt with guys, but I'm no good at it. I can flirt with women all day long, but just don't know how to flirt with a guy. Too bad I can't buy a box of "bidar" or "gaydar". LOL

[Doggie_Wood]

clueless, totally...need help learning to recognize when i'm being flirted with.. doesnt matter what sex either.. wouldnt kno it til they came up and told me directly...


you too, huh? ... I guess I can't tell the difference between being friendly and flirting.
:doggie:

[mannysg]

Thinking about this brought to mind another question. How can you increase your chances of showing up on someone's "bidar or gaydar"? I'm not asking how to flirt with another guy (but I do admit I'm not sure how to do even that.) But I'd like for guys with good "bi-dar" to be able to tell that I'm a like minded man. Living in a small, conservative area makes it nearly imposssible to be out. It's also not possible to display the bi flag (everyone would ask what it is.)
Manny

[wanderingrichard]

dogwood......yeah. reading thru this, seems we arent alone either.

[KevsBi]

I'm like most of the guys on here....clueless when it comes to reading guys and wondering if they are flirting with you or just being nice.
I was in a bar one night and this really cute guy sat down beside me and was being really friendly...he even brought us a round of drinks.
After having a conversation with him for about 45 minutes I was about to ask him if he wanted to go back to my place when he blurted out..."Man, I need a woman tonight...look at all these hot chicks in here!"
So we proceeded to cruise the bar for chicks the rest of the night. :rotate:

[twosides]

That was almost a very embarassing moment.

[miamiuu]

Can anyone here offer examples of how to flirt but be masculine at the same time?

[warmpuppy]

Now that WarmPuppy,I would consider "out and out smack you in the face blatant” LOL or in his case hanging out smack me in the face please blatant..does make for some interesting speculation of "what if..." tho. :bigrin:

Ambi :)

I'll tell you one thing for sure. If I ever see the guy again, I won't make the same mistake. <sigh>

[Luston]

I'll tell you one thing for sure. If I ever see the guy again, I won't make the same mistake. <sigh>

I would. No way would I go for that come-on; it would freak me right out. You can be overt (you may have to be), but I would need you to flirt with me first.

[miamiuu]

Maybe im retarded but my view tends to be when someone makes the first move they should follow through to the end. I mean i do some things, but at least talk to the person who you started hitting on first.

[citystyleguy]

usually, i find it easy to know who is being just friendly, and who is flirting and/or coming onto me; not that i can sometimes wonder, especially if the guy is hesitant himself.

eyes are the biggest clues; men do not look at other men directly into their eyes. it's part of the ritual of the warrior; direct eye contact immeadiately is to determine friend or foe, and to set parameters. if a man is locking eye contact there is definite interest; its now up to you to make the next move.

body contact is always a definite read; again, we men by tradition do it only for aggression, previously in war, now more commonly at sports (i say sports, and not athletics). however, that can prove another area to flirt; be aware of where his hands or legs are and how long they have been there.

also, body language is very important; just how is he positioning himself in relation to you?

so when i am interested, i always start with eye contact; sometimes you may have to play the offensive, largely dependent upon his response and/or actions; next is body language and positioning, again how aggressive is dependent on the responses from your intended interest.

most men who approach me, start with drinks; this can prove difficult sometimes in order to understand if he is using the occasion to loosen up himself or to make you more yielding. in general, i do not like this approach as i like to be clear headed when i am the party of interest, as well as in reverse. i do not want to him to think i am trying to weaken him.

my first passion, i was a true newbie, horny as hell, wanting another guy so bad it made me ache, mind, body and soul. the first time i laid eyes on him, he was in the pool, i was coming into the pool area; he swam through the water like a dolphin, as easy as if he was born in the water. he swam back and forth, and then treaded water as he looked around the pool deck; he laid his eyes on mind as i had lifted my sunglasses to the top of my head. i held his gaze, then he swam towards my area of the pool deck, lifted himself out of the water; i kept watching him, taking my eyes down his glistening body, watching the water glisten and cascade down his hard muscles, the speedos hugging his narrow hips. he came over to the bench i was sitting on, dropped down in front of me, and started talking to me; never did i waver from looking into his eyes, as hard as it was to take my gaze off that damn fine body of his. after talking for awhile, he started saying how tight his chest muscle were, said to me to feel them; without a thought i did just that, not even thinking about what i was doing. a lot more happened, but after i was done in the pool, he was still sitting in the stands, watching my workout. he followed me into the locker room, we showered and talked about nothing in particular. he asked where i lived, once again later that day we swam in the pool at the apartment building i lived in and the rest is history.

i do not believe that flirting is all that difficult; it is largely dependent on how focused you are in doing so, and whether you have enough guts to handle the to and fro!

life's too damn short to not engage in living!

[citystyleguy]

I think I just missed one last week at my fitness club. I was just finished dressing after my shower when a naked guy walked by me. He had one of the most beautiful cocks I have ever seen. I watched him as he walked by, and he did turn to look me in the eyes as he proceeded to the bathroom. I got up and walked toward the exit, but noticed that he was in one of the stalls, door open, and standing there looking at me with a terrific hard-on.

I didn't realize the come-on until I was in my car driving home. Damn!!!!

i have to say, with this come on, both times?; unless my hair was on fire or someone had a gun in my back, i would have dropped my gym bag, sat down on the fucking floor if i had no place else to do so, then waited for the guy to make his next move! this is like the baseball bat approach to flirting, and i am definitely ready to be as blatant!!!

[warmpuppy]

i have to say, with this come on, both times?; unless my hair was on fire or someone had a gun in my back, i would have dropped my gym bag, sat down on the fucking floor if i had no place else to do so, then waited for the guy to make his next move! this is like the baseball bat approach to flirting, and i am definitely ready to be as blatant!!!

In this case, my mind was pre-occupied with some work issues, so I wasn't as alert to a sexual come-on as I usually would be. I realize that I screwed this one up, but I don't think it will happen again. If I meet the guy in the fitness center again, I will be the one making the first move.

[12voltman59]

Like some others have written about how they were not aware that they were being flirted with by another guy-I had several times that happened to me.

The first time was when I was living in a town in Florida--I lived in this great apartment complex that I really loved. We had a great pool area and clubhouse that was open 24/7 since the doors had access codes.

I became friends with a guy who had moved in not long after me---he worked for another state agency and he had been from Ohio too, so we immediately had something in common.

We started hanging out together in our free time.
It took me awhile to realize it but he was gay and he liked me a great deal for more than just friendship.

At that time I was pretty much in hetero mode--I was dating several hot ladies at the time and doing anything with a guy at that point was not on my radar---

I eventually wound up leaving my job and moved back north, so nothing ever happened between he and I.

Another instance of a guy hitting on me took place when I was back in Ohio--I worked out nearly everyday at a particular health club--I would spend an hour or so working out on the floor-lifting weights, doing cardio stuff---after that I would spend about another hour in the "wet area" of the club--going into the steam room, sauna, hot tub and indoor pool.

I met this guy in the wet area--I had never noticed him at the club before---he immediately started chatting with me and he was a friendly person.

We did the circuit I mentioned and when we were done--we went to the dressing area to shower and get dressed.

At that time--the shower room was a big open space---he and I showered right next to each other and there was no one else with us in the room.

I do admit--I did look at him as he showered--he was a cute guy--nice body--my same height--sandy blond hair and yes--I did look at his cock--it looked good too.

As it happened--his locker was very close to mine---as we got dressed--he noted that we were dressed nearly alike---sweat shirt with a pair of "workout pants"--sweats with some kind of cool design.

He talked about how he liked to dress like that when he hung out at his new apartment--he kept mentioning his new apartment---

At that time--I had not been with a guy since I was in my early 20s, but I was starting to get interested in being with another guy again--I had started fantasizing about doing so--

The thought came into my head that I wanted to tell this guy that in my apartment-- l liked to hang out naked--I almost did but another guy came up to get into his locker so that scared me from doing so.

We dressed and got ready to leave--the guy kept talking about his new apartment---it was clear to me that he was inviting me to come to his place--I really really wanted to take up his offer but was scared to make some comment that showed that I wanted to go with him.

We left the club and went our seperate ways----I figured that I would see him again at the club but never did---

Who knows how that would have gone----we probably would have had some fun and gotten in another intense workout--

[DorianCT]

I rarely try to flirt with men.. If they do their first move than I start being provoking.. It is usually strange when it happens to me, as I am not gay looking and men doubt whether they should try their luck or not.. But since Iam quite demanding, I usually "save my ass" by stating that I am straight..

[miamiuu]

has anyone here ever went and asked some guy why they winked at you,or why they made the flirtatious gesture they did?Be curious to hear what types of responses you got.

[DiamondDog]

has anyone here ever went and asked some guy why they winked at you,or why they made the flirtatious gesture they did?Be curious to hear what types of responses you got.
nope. It's pretty obvious that he's flirting and it doesn't have to go anywhere and it's up to you to make the next move.

[miamiuu]

nope. It's pretty obvious that he's flirting and it doesn't have to go anywhere and it's up to you to make the next move.

obviously flirting would be coming out saying hey i like you or do more communicating. a wink doesnt necesarily mean they are flirting.

[DiamondDog]

obviously flirting would be coming out saying hey i like you or do more communicating. a wink doesnt necesarily mean they are flirting.
who says flirting has to involve verbal communication and not just strictly body language? I've flirted with men and women with my eyes or just smiling and it works.

Anyway you asked if I ever asked the men that have winked at me why they did or why they flirted with me and I said no since it's obvious what was happening to both parties.

[miamiuu]

One funny thing did happen the other day. I was at a mostly het club and this guy started asking me my life story, offered to buy me a drink.and introduced me to one of his friends. He was hanging around me and smiling some, but not my type. At what point do yall think you should ask the person if they are coming onto you?