For the ladies of Bisexual.com - by EJ

[ElizabethJane]

I know there is a lot of talk about men coming out to their wives on this site, and men coming out to their friends, but I haven't read a lot about women and their experiences. Not necessarily their experiences in coming out but just general chat amongst the women. I thought perhaps this thread could give us a place to get our groove on so to speak.

I'll start by introducing myself. I'm Liz - I live in Michigan and have known that I was bi-sexual since I was around 15, but have memories of appreciating beautiful women and men my entire life even as a child. Its intriguing to me how people learn about themselves and come to terms with who they really are, more importantly doing so before getting involved with another person.

I'm a major advocate of loving myself first and then being there for my spouse. If I am not whole, then I can be nothing for another. I've always believed in full disclosure and have come to expect the same of my close friends, and of my family.

I'm married and I have children, and my spouse was informed of my sexuality when we first met so that there was no miscommunication whatsoever. I've always had a woman in my life, and probably will always have a woman in my life. I live with my husband, my daughter, and our dog, and 7 fish. Our other two children spend their time with their mother during the week and with us on the weekend. So far so good. I'm pleased with how things are going in my life and am looking for other well adjusted women to talk to. Our blended family has taken time to mould, but it has come along beautifully. It took some time as both my husband and I have been divorced and the children had a lot of new surroundings to get used to. Has anyone had this experience?

I have had my share of fun in the swinging realm after my divorce and while I was dating. It was interesting, and while I did enjoy it - it did not strike me as the prudent thing to do with so many adverse diseases out there in the world today. So for my safety and the safety of my future children those days are long gone. I enjoy a quiet evening with a girlfriend every now and again, but my husband is my life. I love him dearly, and I love that he loves me for me. I love that he understands how I feel about being with a woman. I love that he encourages me to be me. I'm a very lucky woman.

I'm looking forward to talking to you ladies and sharing stories :)

Take care,

ElizabethJane :female:
http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a283/Yakamo_Fujii/Liz/IMG_0292.jpg

[kitten]

I am very happy to hear your story and am glad to share with you.

I have known that I am bi for about 15 years. Before that, I knew I related to men and women in a unique way – just never labeled it. I remember having a girlfriend at the age of 11 and what we called “practice” I now know was love between us – kissing, touching, mutual masturbation. There were other attractions throughout the years that were confusing and painful.

I am now happily married (for 25 years) with 2 teen daughters, a fish and three cats. My children are unawares of my preferences. They are beautiful, confident young women with strong goals and accomplishments. My spouse is my best friend, lover and confidant. He discovered my “label” before I did and is so supportive and encouraging. We had some experiences together and a few on my own but nothing was ever really satisfying. I don’t think I fully accepted myself as bi at the time. Plus, life experiences got in the way: family elders needing care and their deaths, self-employment issues, children difficulties, and hubby commuting 200 miles away each week…
I am at the point in my life that I have accepted myself completely and have found the most fulfilling experiences since I came out to myself and my closest friends. I am also very lucky to have such support. I am hoping some day to have a special friend or friends that I can be with to fulfill those needs in person. In the meantime, I have made some very special friends here at Bisex.com who teach me so much through chat and cyber. Thanks to those mentors and loves.
I appreciate the chance to tell my story. It is nice to meet you EJ!

Hugs and luv,
Kitten

[ElizabethJane]

I have known that I am bi for about 15 years. Before that, I knew I related to men and women in a unique way – just never labeled it. I remember having a girlfriend at the age of 11 and what we called “practice” I now know was love between us – kissing, touching, mutual masturbation. There were other attractions throughout the years that were confusing and painful.

I appreciate the chance to tell my story. It is nice to meet you EJ!

Hugs and luv,
Kitten

Its so reassuring to me and most likely others to hear about your experiences as a younger child. I have similar memories from being young and about 11 or possibly 10, and my best friend and I experimenting and pretending to have a sexual encounter - at that time our interpretation of this was pressing our little buds together with each of us taking turns being "the man" on top. Ha! Its funny to think about this now, and I haven't thought of this in years, but its rather endearing to think of it actually. We went on to experiment later as teenagers with her boyfriend in a threesome that was purely touching and no intercourse. I remember so many times watching her dress and wishing that she wasn't just a friend. I think or rather fear that she would not understand this in me now, but we both seemed to explore so much as children.

Confusion and pain are sadly enough such a large part of growing up.

I'm so glad to meet you Kitten, and glad to read about your experience. Its a blessing when our husbands understand our desires and encourage our freedom to explore those desires.

I have always believed that there is a bond between women that cannot compare to relations between a man and a woman. Its just completely different, and frankly something I would never want to live without. Its nurturing even.

Perhaps we'll get a chance to chat on here sometime, it was great to read your post, and here's to more in the future! Mwah!

EJ :female:

[whattodo]

I have just recently come out of the perverbial closet. I have kept my feelings about women behind a door for most of my life. For me I just thought that since I was about 18 that I didnt mind looking at women, but I did not want to be with them. I of course was lieing to myself to hide who I really was. When I first got into puberty I had some play experiences with another girl and had lots of fun doing it. I started to listen to society and believe that a man and woman should be together. I never had any problem with the gay and lesbian community, I just thought I was straight.

Then recently I fell in love with a girlfriend of mine. I talked to her about my feelings and thoughts and things have grown from there. I have been having a great time with her and have even had a threesome with her and a guy.

Being open to who I am and what I want has had a large impact on my life. I have been a depressed individual because of not accepting me for me. After I finally expressed these wants, desires, and feelings I have been happier than I have in a long time. I hope that people will be happy with who they are and accept it. It is not a fault, but just part of who you are.

[darkeyes]

This thread made me think a little and it has just clicked with me that I suppose I came out twice in my life.

I first came out in my teens and though never made any announcement my way of living and acting made it pretty obvious. It seemed I always had either a girl a boy in my life, more often the former, which as with their more senior counterparts was a real magnet for the lads. Going to university was an eye opener in so many ways because it was freer and easier than I had ever believed possible and less judgemental.

The summer prior to my final year I met a man who was funny kind generous very dishy and loaded. He lived 80 miles from my home town had his own business big house all the trimmings a girl could wish for. I was soooo in love with this paragon of male perfection. I was hooked and began not to care about my studies and just wanted to be with him 24 7. When he asked me to marry him I was gobsmacked and like the silly little girl I had become over him jumped at the chance. We married in a rush and in the end because of where we lived I gave up my final year at uni. As he lived so far away and never really got to know my circle I never revealed my sexuality to him and there at least in part lay in so many ways the downfall of our life together. Such friends of mine that he met and my parents never revealed it though they did think I should tell. I was so scared of losing him I begged them to remain silent because the past was the past and I wanted to look forward.

I dont intend to go into great detail but we were happy for a while and if he proved to be unexciting as a husband I didnt mind and the fact that I was locked away in a big beautiful house in the country with the man of my dreams somehow compensated for a lack of fun and thrills.

But things do have this habit of catching up with you. After a while I began to miss my friends regret the loss of my education and the death of my ambition and the parties the clubs the pubs and the joy of living. Life had become shallow and the continuous cycle of small talk and tedium took its toll. I increasingly began to miss the other side of me and restlessness and misery set in. In the end our marriage was doomed, and everything blew up in our faces and his horror when confronted with my sexuality quickly brought an end to our life together. His family and friends were appalled at my deceit and very quickly I moved back into my old flat with old and loved friends.

A lot has happened since, good and bad, but since the break up and divorce I have tried to remain true to myself, not always succeeding, but striving to live my life. Later this year I resurrect my education and intend to go on and fulfill my ambition. I have loved and been loved, hurt and been hurt and am a much changed person from that stupid love struck fool who married for the wrong reasons and in such haste.

Life isnt easy and nor should it be. It involves decisions which we often take and get wrong. In that my life is no different from anyone else. I am flawed like anyone else and probably more so than most. I still make mistakes, wrong decisions, and as I did with my husband, create pain and hurt because of those mistakes. But never again will I suppress knowledge of my sexuality from any person in an effort to win or hold their love and respect.

[AngelOfTheMystic]

Well, as a lot of you know my name is Nora and I am 24 years old. I live in Indiana and have been happpily married now for almost 3 years to a wonderful man who is comfturable with my sexuality and has been nothing but supportive. I have no children yet, but we do want some and are having fun trying!
I have known that I was bisexual much like a lot of you sense I was young, but I didn't come out until I was 17. I was still in high school and it was kind of scary to come out for me because I didn't know how anyone would react, but it ended up good. My first experience was with my best friend and she and I still have the occasional itch we scratch so to speak, but I am currently looking for that special girl that I can call my own!
Thanks for starting this thread it's always nice to swap stories!

[Fire Lotus]

I was first attracted to other girls/women when I was a teenager.I ways already seeing boys/men. However, I didn't act on those feelings till my late 20's. When I did, I thought I was a lesbian. For some years, that's all I was involved with. In fact, I was in a serious relationship with a lesbian for about 2 years. During this time, I was out to friends and close family. I didn't make it a secret to others, but at the same time, I didn't wear a sign on me saying,"Queer" though either.

After the relationship ended, I wasn't attracted to an sex for awhile. Then I met my husband. We were just friends at first. He is bi too, so coming out wasn't made into a big deal for either one of us, to each other. Our feelings grew more for each other. Fast foward now, we will soon hit our 6 months mark of being married.(You can say now I've been all over that Kinsey scale) Over the last couple years, I've been a bit more vocal about my bisexuality and bisexual issues. Having a husband and friends who are activists, tends to rub off on you.

There you have it. The short version of my story.

[innaminka]

Lovely, gentle reading. :female: :female:

I'm an older ( :rolleyes: ) woman in my mid-forties - and have been an aware bi for about 10 years.
I never really gave it much thought when I was younger - I didn't drool or even lust after women - just that I knew something wasn't complete with my happy marriage.

Revelation came by accident - really!! And it felt so right. Naturally i figured I was lesbian, but my love for my husband made everything so obvious.

I have been married twice - the first didn''t count - young and a bad case of lust! My present dear one and I have been together for just on 17 years. We've got 2 daughters 16 and 13, no dog, a cat (Fred) and no fish.

I am, I guess, an active bi - that is I do have (reasonably) regular f/f encounters. I am not into swinging or group or anything like that; my sexuality demands personal relationships/encounters.

I am out to my hubby, my sister, a number of friends and some work colleagues. I do not make an issue of being bi - I don't wear it like a glove. Those who need to know do know. I just never deny it. (Well, maybe with my daughters who have some suspicions! That will happen when it happens!! Not looking forward to that moment, actually. Maybe I'm a coward!)
My hubby initially took it hard - but we worked through it, as there has been an unspoken understanding in our marriage that sexual exclusivity was not compulsory. And it hasn't! For either of us!
We just don't enquire.
It works for us.

ATM its stinking hot here in Melbourne - and hotter tomorrow. 38-40 deg C.
I need a swim. My daughters are making me dinner tonight as a bribe to let them go to some gig in the City tomorrow. Dean is on one of his normal 8 weekly excursions to the Pilbara.
That's me!