Age difference?

[Herbwoman39]

Need a little input gang. I've been talking to a sweet lady on and off for a couple months now and just found out she's 15 years younger than me.

I'm mildly freaked by this as I thought that she was closer to my own age.

How many of you would break it off before things got serious? Should I tell her I think she might be too young for me or just let it go and stop worrying?

[spoiledangel860505]

hmmmm, I don't think that is too big of an age gap. If you really do like her then why should age stop you? Its better than the e-mail I got today from a couple on here, which I won't say any names or anything but one was in his/her 60's and the other was in his/her 40's. I'm 21 years old, I think that's a bit much don't you think?

Anyways, I wouldn't break it off, if someone was 15 years older than me, I would be fine with it. I have friends that age so why not? Now my mom wouldn't agree but if I did everything for her approval I would be unhappy, a whole other story.

best wishes

[TaylorMade]

15 isn't that bad. If you communitcated that well before finding out, I think ya'll will be fine.

*Taylor*

[Domino]

It cant be a problem if you have already established a relationship and she knows your age. But if you were to spring it on her then it could be a problem. To some people age is a big thing.

[dfwbi-cyclist]

....just found out she's 15 years younger than me.

Should I tell her I think she might be too young for me....

I assume you just want feedback from the ladies of the group??

Have you ever heard a man ask such a question? Hell, as soon as we found that out, we would build a float, hire a band and parade him/her through town.

I see I just answered my first question.

But really, if she knows and has no issues, don't worry.

[biwords]

To break up something promising over a number seems a pity.

[deletetacount123]

Need a little input gang. I've been talking to a sweet lady on and off for a couple months now and just found out she's 15 years younger than me.

I'm mildly freaked by this as I thought that she was closer to my own age.

How many of you would break it off before things got serious? Should I tell her I think she might be too young for me or just let it go and stop worrying?

I don't think theres anything wrong... if you really love each other, the age differences is nothing. Age should NEVER be a issue if you guys commuicate fine, have lots in common and really like each other.... It should only be a issue if your an adult and the other person is a minor, in this case you could get in serious trouble.

To break up with someone over thier age might make you look like a bad person BUT if your really uncomfortable then do it.... I think the only reason to break up with someone due to a young age is IF they seem much to immature for you and saying/doing things that make you uncomfortable.

Hope this helps :)

Tasha

[deletetacount123]

To break up something promising over a number seems a pity.

I agree. :)

[DiamondDog]

As long as you are both 18 and legal adults I don't see anything wrong with it.

[julie]

Should I tell her I think she might be too young for me or just let it go and stop worrying?

... well maybe you could just be honest with her about your anxieties around the age difference?...

...not necessarily saying you think she is too young as that may leave her feeling vulnerable and defensive. perhaps telling her of your surprise when you found out as it wasn't apparent to you beforehand... and just checking out her feelings surrounding it?

...just a thought

...julie
:female: x

[Cowan]

well so long as you are both of legal age in what ever country you are in, then I just say what ever floats your boat and go for it :tongue: :tong: ;)

[flexuality]

Age is a number. I believe it's maturity and wisdom that counts, not some number.

I speak from experience, trust me! lol

[mistymockingbird]

I've always been drawn to folks who were older than me. If you look at my history of friends and lovers, a 10 year age difference (always with me as the younger person) seems to be the norm. The two most significant relationships in my life at this point are with 2 men, one who is 14 years older, one who is 16 years older. (Just for reference, I'm 29)

Age is such a state of mind. We're all individuals and one person at 23 could be twice as mature as the next person at 43. If the two of you are connecting on other levels, why let age get in the way?

Maturity is about times around the block, not rings around the tree.

[Lisa (va)]

As DiamondDog said, as long as all involved are consenting adults.

Aside from that what does/should age matter between people?

I am 30 years old and my husband is 42. He is the best thing that happened in my life (except our daughter of course). But as you he did (for at least a while) had some regards of our age difference, but that was not what was happening between us but what other folks thought of it. He was never particularly happy to hear whispers about 'robbing the cradle' or 'is that his daughter?'. But in the long run friends excepted us as a loving couple.

I always contend that a persons genitals shoould not be important a to how one feels about another, I guess the same thing should apply to age.

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[flexuality]

Have you ever heard a man ask such a question? Hell, as soon as we found that out, we would build a float, hire a band and parade him/her through town.


And would a man do that if he found out the woman he loved was older than him??

Society doesn't seem to be too much in favour of a woman being older than a man, or they tolerate it within maybe 5 years older...but beyond that a lot of people get some strange (and annoying) ideas of what they "think" is "really" going on. Or else they say things like "Good for you!" (like I was trolling for young ones or something....it gets "old" (pun not intended) after a while).

My husband (Solomon) is younger than me. Fortunately, I don't have to deal with alot of the preconceived ideas and jokes people make unless I tell them our ages, because we look pretty much the same age. Matter of fact, a lot of people think I am younger than him! lol

But I don't lie when people ask....it's rather amusing to watch them doing mental mathmatical calculations and trying to look like their not! lol. But I am not going to just announce it everywhere either.

I must admit though, I quickly "lowered" my age on my profile when I got swamped with "boytoy" requests. Funny how some people just assume that because I am older than Sol, that I am into that. I find it irritating after a while....

I even got harrassed by immigration when Sol moved up here. They were heavily questioning me on my "intentions" seeing as I am older than him. I just looked that immigration officer square in the face and said "Would you be asking me these questions of HE was older than ME?"

They did not question me after that. :cool:

Like it or not, people sometimes have some strange ideas about age differences....just like some people have some strange ideas about bisexuality! :rolleyes:

[sammie19]

I dont think age does or should matter. My partner is over 12 years older than me and it doesnt matter a hoot. When we started seeing each other the age difference appeared so much greater because I was just a young girl. She was a woman of 27 and it didnt matter to me then, though I must admit it scared the life out of both of us because of what the world would think. Luckily we are still together and deliciously happy.

An age gap matters only in the mind if we let it. What is important is how we are and how we love. Much luv

[littlerayofsunshine]

If the communications are going well, You two got along and age wasn't an issue before. If you assumed that she was older based on how she was able to communicate and relate to you, Then I believe you shouldn't break it off.


I have always dated or been with older people, I relate better to them than men and women of my own age. My husband is 6 years older than me, I know that doesn't seem that dramatic, but the oldest I have dated was 17 years older. The last woman I was with was 11 years older than me.

[NakedBike]

I'm very good friends with a couple who share an 18 year difference and that happens to be that the misses is older than the mr. They are a great -happy -caring couple that love one another tremendously and I've known for 16 years. So much for stereotypes. In some instances I've seen people who don't gel over generational type things but if that isn't some kind of issue than I'd say why worry and enjoy the possibilities.

[mrplayfuluk]

my longest co habiting relationship was 5.5 years with a girl 17 years younger than me.. the age issue was the least of the problems... stay with it if you like them..

[Rhuth]

When you were 30, her being 15 years younger would have been a bad thing. So many things go wrong as we age. Don't knock one of the few things that get better; the fact that age gaps mean less and less in our personal relationships as we get older.

[Solomon]

Personally, I think the only thing that matters would be integrity. Are you troubled by age? Are you willing to stand by agreements that you make?

Honestly, I find that I'm the only one to determine these things for me. When I told my family and my friends that I intended on moving 3000 miles, marrying a woman with 5 kids, fresh from a divorce, and lived in a different country, NOT ONE of'em gave it more than 6 months.

It's now been 6 years. So I'm sorry, I wouldn't know where to even begin to 'advise' you. It's generally very true that it's lonely at the top.

[Spicy]

Don't worry about the age difference. As long as you feel attracted to her go for it, pop the question and see what happens!
I wish you all the very best my friend. Let us know that happens.

Spicy

[Buck Naked]

I think the viability of the relationship can depend on where each of you are chronologically simply because of the relationship maturity tends to have with a persons age based upon life experiences. For example, if you are 35 and she is 20 there could be much more of a maturity difference than if you were 45 and she was 30 simply because most people do a lot of maturing between the ages of 25 and 40.

There are always going to be differences in perspectives for people separated by 10 or more years, I think the biggest issue is the maturity difference and the only way to get an accurate read on that is with time and communication. So, if neither of you have a problem with it, go for it and see what happens.

[FireRaven]

Totally depends on how the math works imho.

If you are 30 right now ~ YIKES!

If you are 40 right now ~ Have fun while it lasts.

If you are 50 right now ~ Don't let anyone stand in your way!

[tatooedpunk]

My wife is 9 years younger than me ( 8 1/2 is exact and makes me feel less old) I was 26 and she was 18 when we first met. We went out for a few months and i decided the age gap was too much and i broke us up.Friends persuaded me that i was making a huge mistake,we tried again we now have been married 10 years with an awesome 2yo son.My point is you got to follow your heart

[innaminka]

Of course age differences work -.. look at Anna Nicole ..... :eek:

Seriously, everyone knows/has heard of partnerships that succeed wonderfully with large age differences - alternatively I think the opposite also holds; we know of some that have been disasters.

I would urge caution. I believe what you have to do is ask what type of relationship do you envisage? A shorter, transient, lust filled relationship - fine - go for it, however if you are looking at something more permanent, just think everything through. The fifteen year age gap atm may mean little, as i assume you are both past the flush of youthful idiocy and can make decisions like this based on something more than hormones. (like I did when I was 21 :eek: )
However look forward. In 5 or 10 years, what will the age gap signify? Will the mutual interests still be there? Will there be a general widening of the physical gap?
I'm not a Cassandra, but neither am I a Pollyanna. You started this thread asking for serious advice, which means you yourself are serious.
I'm sure with a lot of thought, communication and perhaps some (not a lot) of advice, you'll make the right decision.

My only real advice, however is don't let others make up your mind. Take on board what they say, but be true to youself and your heart.

[ElizabethJane]

Don't be so quick to break it off honey, I think that you should give it a go - my girlfriend of 10 years is 22 years older than I am. She's beautiful and I love her.

[ElizabethJane]

Totally depends on how the math works imho.

If you are 30 right now ~ YIKES!

If you are 40 right now ~ Have fun while it lasts.

If you are 50 right now ~ Don't let anyone stand in your way!

hahaah I really liked this post. :P Cheers.

[julie]

My only real advice, however is don't let others make up your mind. Take on board what they say, but be true to youself and your heart.

i'm with innaminka...

[Avocado]

Need a little input gang. I've been talking to a sweet lady on and off for a couple months now and just found out she's 15 years younger than me.

I'm mildly freaked by this as I thought that she was closer to my own age.

How many of you would break it off before things got serious? Should I tell her I think she might be too young for me or just let it go and stop worrying?

That all depends on what you want really. I think if you don't want things to get long term you should make it clear.

[sexybicplinwv]

Go for it!!! I have a much younger guy in my life. 15 yeas difference here and its great! You only live once so take a chance and be happy. :flag3: (((Always be true to yourself))) :female:

[julie]

31 responses to your question herbwoman...but no response from you?

where are you?

julie :female: