What's the deal with all these people?! *aarrgghh*

[CuriousCoupleNC83]

Ok we are on a swinger website, and on our profile, it says something about my fiance being bi-curious. It seems to keep couples with a bi-female with a straight male far from us...They're all like well I'm not gay! He's not gay either...geeeze! It's not like he's going to rape someone! It ust irritates me that these people are so closed-minded. But that's ok I reckon, cause they're the ones missing out. Not us! Does anyone else seem to have that problem too? I personally think it's majorly one sided when most of society thinks its HOT if a girl is bi, but heaven forbid a guy might have a bi side.... :mad: :disgust: :banghead: :confused:

[BreeIsMe]

Unfortunately, our society has an incredible amount of homophobia at the same time it has a reasonable number of bisexual and homosexual males. The religious right certainly brings this out to the nth degree. I don't know what to do about it as it isn't something as easy to talk about as racial prejudice, etc. but I think its just a lot of males who are afriad that they actually might like something but are pressured by society to make sure they "act" like they despise it. Keep you head up, there are enlightened couples but certainly they are fewer and farther inbetween. I'm sure you will find someone if you keep trying...

Good Luck,

Bree

[DiamondDog]

Stop going on swinging sites or sites like that?
Why not try gay.com?

Or if you and your BF have certain kinks like bondage or SM there are TONS of sites out there where you can put profiles on.

[littlerayofsunshine]

My hubby and I had a profile on a swingers site, advertising us both as bi. The couples that answered it only wanted me to play with them both together, no bi couples at all replied. Whole bunch of men did for mmf's and one on one play with hubby. And no single bi girls at all. So its a mix of what ya get. This is what led me to my conclusion, that its harder for a bi girl to get it on, then it is for a bi guy. Of course our dynamic is, we either play together as a couple, or one on one with someone else. Not really into playing alone and doing threesomes with other couples. We would however do a 4 some with another bi couple, But so far the same issue as you, no couple with a straight guy wanted hubby involved or didn't like the fact that my hubby wasn't caucasion. We have done 2 threesomes with other men, no threesomes with any women yet, and I have yet to find an interested lady that to play alone with. Thems the breaks I guess.

[12voltman59]

Ok we are on a swinger website, and on our profile, it says something about my fiance being bi-curious. It seems to keep couples with a bi-female with a straight male far from us...They're all like well I'm not gay! He's not gay either...geeeze! It's not like he's going to rape someone! It ust irritates me that these people are so closed-minded. But that's ok I reckon, cause they're the ones missing out. Not us! Does anyone else seem to have that problem too? I personally think it's majorly one sided when most of society thinks its HOT if a girl is bi, but heaven forbid a guy might have a bi side.... :mad: :disgust: :banghead: :confused:

I am a single man--so I know that at swingers clubs and groups---having a lady around who will play with other ladies is "wayyyyyy hot!!!!!" but they don't want single guys who might want to do anything with a guy and they sure don't want ya bein' 'round their women!!!!

It is a definte double standard---bi females cool--bi males way uncool!!!!

[Dr.StrangeLove]

That sucks, but I think its pretty typical of the swinger culture...I'm no expert, but I think swinger culture is fairly heterosexist in general. There should be other sites out there, try using search terms like polyamory as opposed to swinger.

[FalconAngel]

Our experience with the swinging community is that they are firm believers in Bisexuality.........in women ONLY.
As far as the vast majority of swingers (men, really) is concerned, there is only straight or gay for men. No middle ground at all and no tolerance for anything that deviates from straight for guys.

It has made it very difficult for us since my wife is straight and I am Bi. That is also why we will not get on dedicated swingers sites. It's just a waste of time and effort for us since the couples are interested in her and the single guys are all interested in her....like I am some kind of cuckold because I am Bi.

It's very insulting to both of us.

[the mage]

I completely agree with what's said here. Swingers are Male on male sex hostile.
My Lady and I stopped going to them as it is assumed automatically that all women attending are submissive to the mens whims and the men dont touch each other!! My Lady is very much a Domme and i like to play so it didnt work there. We discovered a more welcoming scene in the D/s world where kink is the norm.

[twocan]

Ok we are on a swinger website, and on our profile, it says something about my fiance being bi-curious. It seems to keep couples with a bi-female with a straight male far from us...They're all like well I'm not gay! He's not gay either...geeeze! It's not like he's going to rape someone! It ust irritates me that these people are so closed-minded. But that's ok I reckon, cause they're the ones missing out. Not us! Does anyone else seem to have that problem too? I personally think it's majorly one sided when most of society thinks its HOT if a girl is bi, but heaven forbid a guy might have a bi side.... :mad: :disgust: :banghead: :confused:
I think a lot of so called straight guys that are married would take a beaner from a bi guy just as long as no body knows. but to admit it he may think his wife would see him as less then a man and thats a big fear to most so called straight guys.Hey bi gay or straight ! We all like head. End of story....

[Solomon]

Ok we are on a swinger website, and on our profile, it says something about my fiance being bi-curious. It seems to keep couples with a bi-female with a straight male far from us...They're all like well I'm not gay! He's not gay either...geeeze! It's not like he's going to rape someone! It ust irritates me that these people are so closed-minded. But that's ok I reckon, cause they're the ones missing out. Not us! Does anyone else seem to have that problem too? I personally think it's majorly one sided when most of society thinks its HOT if a girl is bi, but heaven forbid a guy might have a bi side.... :mad: :disgust: :banghead: :confused:

thank god for sites like Drew's an co's where we can have a higher level of thinking :bowdown:

trying to change anyone else is just banging our heads against a wall.... for no good reason except it feels better to stop

[sexybicplinwv]

Same Problem Here! A lot of guy's looking at are profile,And few couple's ,And no single Lady's :) And it's me who is really looking for some one :bigrin: :female:

[etncple]

Over the last few years we have been on a number of swinger sites, where we have always listed ourselves as both bi, and there is a definite prejudice against bi males. As stated by a number of people her,e bi women are accepted and even desired, but bi men are a taboo subject. The funny thing is, we have received numerous requests from so called "str8" males asking for a 3sum since they are bi or curious. Quite a few of these "str8" males swing with their wives but hide being bi from them, even when the wife is bi :eek: . Since our sex life is great, and we seek other playmates mainly for the bi experience, we have decided we wont meet people from these sites unless they list themselves as bi, like we do. We wonder if they are hiding being bi what else are they hiding. We also like staying with one person, as a friend as well as a playmate, rather than meet new people all the time and most people on swinger sites are looking for numerous new partners on a regular basis. So we dont get to play as often as we would like but we feel the wait is worth it. Its just a fact of life that "bi male" = "gay male" to the majority of the world . This is even true in porn. Most so called str8 porn will have at least one f/f scene but never a m/m scene.
F**K em if they can't take a joke. Of course thats just my opinion and I may be wrong :rolleyes:

[bigirl_inwv]

I hate that the swing community is like that. But just like with anything else, it's a label. The majority may be opposed to bi guys...but not all of us are. My fiance and I have played with couples where the male was bi. We have no problem with it.

I guess I'm just going into defensive mode here. I just think it's kind of hypocritical for the bi community to say "We aren't all sex crazed and looking for threesomes." But then to label the swing community as "bi men hating." Don't label the entire group by the stereotype of the majority. It's not really fair to the rest of us who aren't like that.

As for the original question at hand...what site do you use? Maybe try other sites...or change your search options to show only couples where the male half is bi or bi-curious.

[diamond_tether]

Yeah, like everyone else we've experienced the serious double standards going on with bisexuality in the swinging community - most notably, through the websites.

For women, bisexualiy is damn near enforced. It's resulted in a lot of women being barely passively/socially bi. They'll give a dab of the tongue here, an alcohol laden kiss there, a finger poke over there, etc - but no more. At best we've witnessed it as a means by which to control the boys, making them sit out and wait while giving them a show. But, it's clear and obvious that they're just teasing and waiting for the boys to drop trou and get to work. It makes us feel like actual female bisexuality is being invalidated to some degree or another.

You've also got the poor straight women who get actively denied/persecuted in that commuunity because they don't play with other women. The only way to 'make up' for that is to essentially bend over and take every dick present. Thankfully, of the straight women/couples we've talked to, they saw the stupidity of that mentality and didn't give in.

With guy/guy action - It seems like bi guys are going to be lynched hearing how some of the straight men in that community talk. There's the hypocrisy of how they speak about bi men and actively exlude them, but get really pissed off when they find out straight men aren't going to be allowed at some kind of get together that bi folks are throwing (oh, how terrible that they have to miss out on seeing some f/f action). But, it continues because we've also had tons of 'straight' men (some hiding their bi-curioisity from a bi-female partner) contact us for bisexual MMFs. And the cuckold thing drives us absolutely batty. Simply because a male is into males doesn't make him weak, but that seems to be the perception. It goes right along with the guys who aren't bi, but are 'okay' with letting a guy blow them. To us, they're not bisexual or being open-minded - they're looking to get serviced while 'preserving' their masculinity. It's insulting, really.

We've come to the conclusion that the Swinging Community at large is really just a housing place for the Str8-male/(pseudo) Bi-female. Those who don't fit those molds don't mix in well unless they want to take a back seat to the majority or are willing to function under the table (which, we don't see the point of doing). It's unfortunate because that community is more than willing to openly speak out against people who don't fit in - thus reinforcing the bad stereotypes most of mainstream has in another forum. No offense to those who don't fit the swinger stereotype, but in our experience, the swinging 'Community' seems to be more a group of people trying to project an image of open sexuality, open-mindedness and tolerance to try and gain validity on the social stage for their activities. But, when called to stand and back it up (as in the case of accepting bi men, non-passive/submissive females and straight women) - are mostly just a lot of hot air.

[ohbimale]

I have had ads on a swinger site too. I advertised myself as a bisexual man who was seeking a long term friendship/relationship with another bisexual man. I also stated I was open to meeting bisexual women and couples. The only ones who replied were gay and "bi-curious" men who were only interested in having me go down on them. When I pushed the issue of mutual satisfaction they dropped into outerspace never to be heard from again. I can only say it takes patience.

And as some earlier posts have stated our society labels bisexual men as gay. Society allows women to be bisexual, but men are either straight or gay. And the recent published so-called studies do not help either. Although I am attracted to both men and women people who know I am bisexual still referr to me as gay. I have stopped fighting it for now as I just grow tired of trying to correct the stereo type put out there by the Christian right wing, hollywood and the Jerry Springer fans.

You may want to have someone close who knows both of you well review and revise your ad. They may see some ways to improve it that you do not.

:rainbow: :male: :bipride:

[welickit]

We post as a both bi couple. That way it is out in the open to start with and people know we are both bi. If the word curious is in the profile of someone who emails us they are not even given a reply. To many game players out there. :2cents:

[Azrael]

I've never done the swinger thing, although some people have assumed this of my ex-g/f and I because we're both bi. It's frustrating on both sides. Gay guys I meet assume I'm stuck in some transition phase or confused. Whereas women get jealous that I'll leave them for another man. It's an extremely frustrating that a lot of people associate the word bisexual with the word unfaithful. All I've ever been is cheated on *sigh*.

[spartca]

Yeah Azrael I've come to realize that a lot of the hatred directed at bi men is really their unconscious projection of the repressed aspects of themselves that resonate with bisexuality.

In other words, they're jealous, and they take it out on me because I'm living the fully authentic and integrated life they can literally only dream about.

Talk about the messiah archetype repeating itself over and over again.

[Solomon]

hhmmm think it's wiser to focus on the people that don't have a problem with my sexuality than to get in a knot over the few that do have a problem with it.....

having said that, it's very easy to say it.... not so easy to practice tho....

[nnjbicoupleforplay]

We get it all the time, oh he's "gay". No he's bi simply stated. Get over it already, if they don't like that fact oh well they're not for us. And becuase he's bi he still might not be into either of them. We just move on and don't even think about them anymore.

nnjbicoupleforplay

:male: :female: :bipride:

Have you hugged your bi-friend today??