bisexual maybe-advice please

[1234567]

i'll just say everything. ever since i was younger i have had this weird thing for girls, like if i thought a girl was pretty i would like her or whatever. the thing was back then i didn't know these feelings. it's hard to explain. But there was just something..i don't know. i think that that might have something to do with me liking girls today, that it stemed from that. maybe not, i don't know.

anyways, i know i'm not a lesbian because i like guys as well, but it has come to my attention that i do like girls sexually and physically as well. i don't know if i am attracted to them emotionally, i don't even know what that means. but i'll give you an example. there is this girl in my french class who is the prettiest thing ever, attractive, cute, etc. thinking about being in bed with her as a partner is something that not only makes me happy and want to do it, but it doesn't disgust me, i seem to like it in my head. eh, despise all the things i have read about how you can tell if you're homosexual/bisexual, i still am a bit confused as to whether this is just a feeling that everyone goes through. i understand that many girls are curious about it at an age and want to experiment, but i actually like the idea of me being with another girl, as to where they are just curious about how it is and just wonder.

one thing i would like to point out. i am not attracted to a lot of girls, just the ones i think are attractive. there are a lot of girls that i wouldn't particularly want to be with. the thing is, me being with a girl is good for me and i would want to. same with guys. i am attracted to guys also, not all of them, but many. either way, being with a guy does not seem disgusting to me or something i wouldn't want to do. just like with everyone, there are some guys (and girls) that i like, and some i don't. (some that i would like to have a relationship with. you know what i mean.) in other worsds, i'm sure gay men do not like all men they see just because they are gay. that is what i am saying.

If i am in fact bisexual it does not bother me. of course i will be scared or worried about my family's opinions and people in school, everyone. i would not like me being bisexual being something weird, so that when all guys know that i am they are dissapointed or disgusted, or just wouldnt want a relationship with someone who is bisexual. i don't want this to charge everyone away. honestly, i want to be with a man the rest of my life, you know, marriage maybe, kids maybe, etc. and not with a woman, solely on the difficulties and everything we would have to go through. if i would want children, i would not want to adopt any, and i would want them to be mine and my partner's. i am sure you understand. however that is not the point.

i am merely asking for advice, some words to spare to help me out. i don't want to think i am bisexual, or for this to just be a phase, and then realize it isn't so and have trouble because everyone would know i was bisexual and everything. it would be hard for things to go back to normal.
also, please don't give me a response about how i would be bisexual if i was turned on looking at both female nudity and male nudity, because frankly, looking at either male or female nudity does not get me turned on. looking at a picture does nothing for me. so, please, some advice if you can spare any. i apologize for this long novel i've written here. thank you.

[wellred]

Hello,

I would like to help you, but before I would offer any advice, I would like to know your age. This site does have an 18 year minimum age requirement.

I look forward to hearing from you.

- Red

[Bi-ten]

Hi my dear,

I'm glad you asked your question here, there are lots of people who can offer you some suggestions about what it means to be bisexual.

It sounds like you are young and want to understand yourself. It also sounds like having children and being accepted is very important to you. The fact that you are not sure what emotionally involved means tells me you may not have ever been in love. Forgive me for a lot of assumptions, but to me the whole world is in front of you...full of possibilities and choices.

My advice is to take it easy, you don't have to rush out and prove anything to anyone. Sex is fun and attraction is wonderful, explore these things only when your ready, take it slow and be safe!

Talk things over with some of our wonderful ladies on the site, you will know them as soon as they respond to this thread (you know who you are lol).

If you find you are bisexual, embrace it for the gift that it is, and disclose it with discretion. Here are just a few things that will (I hope) reassure you.

1. Gay or Bi women can have babies! I know this is obvoius, but you don't have to end up with a man to acchieve this goal (lucky lucky)

2. Lots of men find bisexual women attractive and exciting. I would hack off my big toe to find one lol:)

3. You will find acceptance with people who are truely your friends, the hardest thing is to accept yourself.

4. Don't worry, be yourself and you will find love where you least expect it.

Good God I sound like a Mother hen!

Hugs and good luck!

[WillowTree]

I personally feel that most women, even straight, have found themselves attracted to another woman at some point. This is because women tie intimacy and sex so closely together, and we often develop very intimate relationships with other women. But, I think the key to being bisexual is the ability to be sexual and/or love both sexes. If you do some experimenting with a woman and find you want more or want to remain involved with women, then I would probably say you're bisexual. The most important thing is to be open and let yourself have new experiences in and out of the bedroom. Don't rush to any labels and your confusion will be much less.

I also wanted to address emotional attraction. This, to me, occurs in most friendships. Not the friendship where you pass on the street and say hi, or do favors for one another, but the friendships where there is trust, initmacy, and sharing. Those friendships involve emotional attraction. The difference between these friendships and our relationships with our partners is that we choose to take that friendship to another level and add sex to the mix.

I hope you find the answers you are looking for. But there is much life left to live, and you should pressure yourself to figure things out so quickly.

[1234567]

Hello,

I would like to help you, but before I would offer any advice, I would like to know your age. This site does have an 18 year minimum age requirement.

I look forward to hearing from you.

- Red

i am 18 exactly.

thanks to the others who have replied =)

[densone]

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well here im am giving advice to some one who claims their not sure well let me tell you some thing you know exactly what you are all you have to do is let your sexual desires come natruely and then you can see for your self why you preferr woman over men or maybe try being intimate with a guy like you would a woman and see what happens maybe try having sex with both somtime so you can figure which of the two turn you on the most

[jo69guy]

It sounds to me like you need to explore a little bit. As the others have said, you could try both and see which you prefer, or you may like both equaly for different reasons. (I do)

As for telling others, you really don't have too. I didn't until I was in my mid 30's. If it will do more harm than good, why tell? I am VERY closeted at work as it would be devestating to my career.

My family, ex-wife, her kids, and my closest friends all know. I have several bi/gay friends, so that helps. Even my close straight friends are ok with it.

Many guys like the idea of being involved with a bi-woman, though some don't. :bipride: :2cents:

[bediddle]

Many guys like the idea of being involved with a bi-woman, though some don't.

Just wanted to put in a little ditto to that!

I had the same worry, that my male partner would be disgusted to hear about my attraction to women - or at the very least that he wouldn't like it for some reason. As it turns out, he was more than happy to hear it. ;)

[Dream_Weaver]

i'll just say everything. ever since i was younger i have had this weird thing for girls, like if i thought a girl was pretty i would like her or whatever. the thing was back then i didn't know these feelings. it's hard to explain. But there was just something..i don't know. i think that that might have something to do with me liking girls today, that it stemed from that. maybe not, i don't know.

anyways, i know i'm not a lesbian because i like guys as well, but it has come to my attention that i do like girls sexually and physically as well. i don't know if i am attracted to them emotionally, i don't even know what that means. but i'll give you an example. there is this girl in my french class who is the prettiest thing ever, attractive, cute, etc. thinking about being in bed with her as a partner is something that not only makes me happy and want to do it, but it doesn't disgust me, i seem to like it in my head. eh, despise all the things i have read about how you can tell if you're homosexual/bisexual, i still am a bit confused as to whether this is just a feeling that everyone goes through. i understand that many girls are curious about it at an age and want to experiment, but i actually like the idea of me being with another girl, as to where they are just curious about how it is and just wonder.

one thing i would like to point out. i am not attracted to a lot of girls, just the ones i think are attractive. there are a lot of girls that i wouldn't particularly want to be with. the thing is, me being with a girl is good for me and i would want to. same with guys. i am attracted to guys also, not all of them, but many. either way, being with a guy does not seem disgusting to me or something i wouldn't want to do. just like with everyone, there are some guys (and girls) that i like, and some i don't. (some that i would like to have a relationship with. you know what i mean.) in other worsds, i'm sure gay men do not like all men they see just because they are gay. that is what i am saying.

If i am in fact bisexual it does not bother me. of course i will be scared or worried about my family's opinions and people in school, everyone. i would not like me being bisexual being something weird, so that when all guys know that i am they are dissapointed or disgusted, or just wouldnt want a relationship with someone who is bisexual. i don't want this to charge everyone away. honestly, i want to be with a man the rest of my life, you know, marriage maybe, kids maybe, etc. and not with a woman, solely on the difficulties and everything we would have to go through. if i would want children, i would not want to adopt any, and i would want them to be mine and my partner's. i am sure you understand. however that is not the point.

i am merely asking for advice, some words to spare to help me out. i don't want to think i am bisexual, or for this to just be a phase, and then realize it isn't so and have trouble because everyone would know i was bisexual and everything. it would be hard for things to go back to normal.
also, please don't give me a response about how i would be bisexual if i was turned on looking at both female nudity and male nudity, because frankly, looking at either male or female nudity does not get me turned on. looking at a picture does nothing for me. so, please, some advice if you can spare any. i apologize for this long novel i've written here. thank you.


hi, just wanted to say take your time. Speak to some of the other ladies on the site and I will be happy to answer any questions you have. Hope to hear from you soon.

[RainbowBright]

move on over hun.. the boats getting full..lol i too was very confused about the feelings that i was having for women. i found then interesting, exotic, very sexy and extremly atractive. i, like you, was confused, and didnt know what exactly what i wanted, let alone what exactly my feelings ment. these feelings surfaced when i was about your age.. but i realy didnt except them, or try to explore them till i was much older. i know what i basiclly want, but like you i am still confused at times. i have friends whom have gone through similar things, and there fore have been able to chat and get some of my answers for me. i love my husband and i have never done anything with another women.. but i currently have some feelings for a realy close friend of mine.. and i fell in love with someone over the summer.. my point? take it slow.. you dont have to rush, and above all .. BE HONEST!!!!!with your self.

take into account - there are many on here whom have been in this boat. and there will be many more who want to board - reguardless .. we are all going to be your friends.. and give you any support that you may want or need.

bright :tong:

[alisbi]

:flag3: Sweetheart, don't sweat it. First and foremost you must establish your own self cofidence. Be sure of who you are as a person.I know several people who are either bisexual, or gay, but live their whole life as a lie because they are not comfortable with who they are. Self confidence first.

You only have to work through this for YOU. I come from a strict Catholic family, but because I chose my own path when growing up (in a family of 14!), I had no problem letting my family know I am bisexual. It was met with different responses from everybody. In the end I only had me to please.

I am not saying it is going to be that easy for you. Relax, collect yourself, and ask yourself "Have I enough self esteem to pursue this in whatever direction it takes me?"

We don't make a choice to be bisexual,gay, or straight. We do however make a choice in how we will accept it.

I wish you nothing only the happiness in your journey .

[Iowabiguy]

I am still trying to figure out exactly who to come out to and that has been a struggle for me. I know you are not yet at the point of fulling accepting your bisexuality but if it there you will know it. No matter how you want to explain it away; it will be there. I tried many times over my life to do this and it only caused me self-loathing and pain. Just be yourself, I hope you realize that posting and listening to the opinions on this and other bisexual sites is very helpful in sorting out your feelings about yourself. It can also give you courage when you are ready to tell that first friend about your sexuality.
Good luck. You are young and have the whole world ahead of you. Explore it. Enjoy it. Never, ever cheat yourself.

[crowznest]

You know what? It will always be in your mind in the back front whatever but feelings you have for yourself are your business until you make it somone elses. As for I want a man but I like women? Why not have both? I have a wife but shes my wife for a reason! She knows everything and the same in return....now I know it's not that common these days for couples to be THAT HONEST to eachother but when and if you find it it works out well for you. I find as long as my wife has my back it's all going to be good. Now if only I could find a man that awesome! But until then I have my loving wife. you know what I'm saying? :bibounce: