my secret with my gay friend

[nikid19]

undefined I have a gay friend and I been trying to tell him that i am bicurious but i dont know how he will react. but i couldnt tell him because when we were going to school with each other. and he knows i would never want to have sex with a female ever but i love to hear about his sex life. but should i tell him about me.
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[WillowTree]

Unfortunately, reactions from the gay community about bisexuality are about as mixed as those from straight people. So, in telling your friend who is gay, you are taking about as much of a risk as if you tell a straight friend. I would say to evaluate your friendship and decide if it is worth the risk to you. Some feel that being "out" is worth any risk and other feel their sexual preferences are only the business of their partner(s). Good luck.

[Damon]

Nikid I have an idea..

Do not "label" yourself to your gay friend. Tell him straight up that you are interested in exploring deeper relationships with same sex partners.. Thats all..

IMHO this to anyone means just what it says.. "I'm interested in exploring deeper relationships with same sex partners"

You are not lying to him and he, as a gay, should respect the fact that you told him. If he asks for more details then give him only the simple basics.. do not go diving into complex thoughts and labelling yourself.

Best of luck niki.. I hope it makes you happy to share this with your friend :)

Damon

[mike9753]

I would agree wit Damon. But I wouldn't do it all at once. Or in one statement. I would bring it up in a casual conversation once, plant a seed, touch on it again another time, etc. Plant the seed, water it each day, add some fertilizer now and then and see what grows.

Mike

[Damon]

As an avid gardener IRL I feel for what mike has said :)

I only say jump right in because it is my way to dive at fear, for me it's easier to get something over and done with than to experience anxiousness. But I think both messages stand solid nikid and the higher you hold your head when you "tend to this beautiful flower" the more respect you will command as a result of it.

Best of luck nikid, I hope this brings you happiness :)

Damon

[mike9753]

And by all means, we'd love to hear what happens if you'd care to share it.

This forum has been a very good place to celebrate success, to think through tough relationship problems and to commiserate and support each other when things don't go well.

Mike