Bi social...would you come if....

[CSBForum]

Now i know i've asked before if anyone would come to a BBQ picnic in a public park if it was advertised in your area. I could sum up the responses this way: You would come if (1) if there were no signs up or bi flags indicating that this was a Bi Picnic, and (2) if you knew me.

That (2) thru me for a loop because it is a viscous cycle: if you don't know me you won't come and therefore you'll never get to know me.

So if a bi social group was advertised in your area, and if it ALSO had a Newbie group that was only for new members to meet me, say at a coffee shop...
would you come?

If not, can you think of anything else that would convince you?

[Iowason]

I wish they had a "Bi networking group" where I live. (Not quite enough to start one though) I would definately go to meetings...

[pasco_lol_cpl]

THere was recently, a bi social organized for the Tampa Bay area. For as long as my wife have bitched that there was no bi centered organization around us we were elated that finally, we could meet others face to face in a social setting.



And wouldn't you know it, it was the exact time and date that we couldn't attend :banghead:

So yes we would love to attend a social.

[bearisbare]

Now i know i've asked before if anyone would come to a BBQ picnic in a public park if it was advertised in your area. I could sum up the responses this way: You would come if (1) if there were no signs up or bi flags indicating that this was a Bi Picnic, and (2) if you knew me.

That (2) thru me for a loop because it is a viscous cycle: if you don't know me you won't come and therefore you'll never get to know me.

So if a bi social group was advertised in your area, and if it ALSO had a Newbie group that was only for new members to meet me, say at a coffee shop...
would you come?

I think that if I saw it as a chance to meet others like myself, in a known public place (maybe with a weblink so people could check it out for authenticity), I would go. A newbie group would need to be explicitly advertised as such, no doubt.

I'm guessing it's not in any way your intention, but phrasing it in a way as "to meet me" might be more constricting than "to meet others". Also, there would possibly be the need to mention it's not intended as a place to hook up with others.

Myself, I've been going to bi brunches and poly socials for a while and I don't look for anyone for a hook-up. Far as I can see, it's rarely something that others think about as well because the events are advertised as social space for chat and friends, as opposed to "hey, come here and maybe go home with someone".

All the best of luck for getting more people to come to your events! :)

[FerSureMaybe]

sounds fun

[DiamondDog]

I'd go as long as it wasn't full of people in open relationships trying to flirt/pick me up, people who go on about how they're "poly" and it's all about "love" or how they're so much more evolved than people in closed relationships :rolleyes: when they're just in an open relationship and nothing more, and I don't like a big meat market atmosphere since if I really wanted to sleep with complete strangers I'd just go online to various sites (like this one for example) or just go into a bar.

I mean it's flattering and all when I do get hit on but I've been to bisexual discussion groups where that happens and I never go back if it does happen, since if it's a social/discussion group and people should just go online or go to a bar if they want to hook up with people.

Human beings are ALWAYS looking for sex even if they don't know it; but there's a fine line between flirting and going too far and being too pathetic with desperation for sex/attention from someone.

I also wouldn't go if it was a very small and cliquey group as being an outsider in this type of environment is not fun or that conductive to meeting people.

If it was a group that is way into sexual politics I also wouldn't go since I'm not into sexual politics, the bi flag, or any of that.

I'd go to check it out but if it was like the ways I described (that various bi groups myself and friends have been to have been like) I wouldn't go back.

[redheadhoneycat]

Sure I would come...it could be fun. Meeting new people to make friends with is great. :)

[ChsnyNLelandsBsh]

yes I would but I would wait until I am out of the house or I muster up the courage....parents dont accept and I feel like I'm going against their "rules" or against them. If I do what I feel....

I would also only go to meet others like me and maybe a relationship that is exclusive and a companion...not just a fk buddy....

[diB4u]

To be honest yeah if i could get to one that was local ish and was on at a good enough time, then yeah i would go, to meet ppl, make friends etc...

Its not about sex, its about the other things sometimes like friendship.... IF that did happen then all the good, but i normally dont go into situations looking for sex.

[buck-rogers]

I would be excited to go if it was local. I've only met a handful of other bisexuals in my life and it would be great to meet more to talk and make new friends. And who doesn't love BBQs? Burgers and beer, It's the stuff dreams are made of... now If you will excuse me I've gotten hungry all of a sudden. :compuser:

[the mage]

There have been a few social get togethers spawned from the web that I've attended. they were all fun.

[NYCcoolsista]

I would definitely come...I agree with you, if you dont know me you won't come, therefore how will u get to know me???

[jem_is_bi]

The trouble is bisexual people are spread thinly through the country and attempts at staging events through this site seem to have two fates. 1) The organizers are degraded for the type of event that is planned. 2) Grand plans for a grand meeting don’t work out.

I hope your party plans are both well received and well attended but it appears to be difficult to achieve such a goal.
If I lived nearby, I would attend. Unlike, DiamondDog, I am not young and handsome enough to receive much sexual interest. So, I could relax and just enjoy the company of other bisexual people, which I cannot do in my daily (in the closet) life. Nope, you can not drag me out of my comfortable closet.

JEM

[DiamondDog]

The trouble is bisexual people are spread thinly through the country and attempts at staging events through this site seem to have two fates. 1) The organizers are degraded for the type of event that is planned. 2) Grand plans for a grand meeting don’t work out.

I hope your party plans are both well received and well attended but it appears to be difficult to achieve such a goal.
If I lived nearby, I would attend. Unlike, DiamondDog, I am not young and handsome enough to receive much sexual interest. So, I could relax and just enjoy the company of other bisexual people, which I cannot do in my daily (in the closet) life. Nope, you can not drag me out of my comfortable closet.

JEM

Being young has nothing to do with it.

I know older men who get more flirtation and attention than I do.

Why would organizers of such an event be "degraded"?

I've been involved in queer/predominantly gay/mixed crowd GLBT groups in towns in rural areas in the middle of nowhere, and it's never been an issue.

Why stay closeted?

[Herbwoman39]

I'd love to come to a bi social group! There is *nothing* here in Melbourne. Even in Orlando it's all LGBT stuff. There is nothing around here that is bi centered so I'd love such a group.

[FalconAngel]

If there is a group doing anything, it should post the event to the calendar, like the group here in Ft. Lauderdale does.

That way, anyone in the area can find out about it and attend.

The big problem with holding functions for us Bi folks is that in cases like this, there is not a lot of folks out there who just don't know about the local community or even if there is one. That's because they don't post to sites like this.

Mostly folks have membership in Yahoo groups, and let's be honest, they are not often local area specific as they claim to be.

We own a group on Yahoo for the SE Florida area and yet we have people who join up from hell and gone from the area because they come down here with some frequency. We also get folks who want to join who are not in the area and will never be in the area, so why they bother to join groups that are area specific and out of their area, we will never know.

The point is, that everyone who gets on the web looks for groups/sites that cater to their interests.

In this case, Bisexuality. So we, as a community, should be doing everything possible to direct others to sites and groups that can help them.

Would we go to a Bi social? As long as it is in our area and at a time and date that works with our schedule; yes.

[AdamKadmon43]

Now i know i've asked before if anyone would come to a BBQ picnic in a public park if it was advertised in your area. would you come? ......



I suppose that what you mean by "come to a BBQ picnic" would be getting together to engage in the horrid, barbaric, communal practice of killing, roasting and eating one's fellow creatures in the interest of being friendly and social and allegedly well-fed.

Unfortunately, I could not bring myself to attend such an event, and even if I could, it would not be in the best of everyone else's interest for me to do so. I would most probably proceed to get ill and throw up all over everyone's plate of roasted pig or cow or what ever, and ruin the entire event.

It gets especially bad when I have to watch people eat pieces of cows that have been prepared as "rare" or "medium rare". When they stick a fork into it and all that blood comes gushing out, I go into these really violent, uncontrollable, unpleasant fits of puking.

But thanks for the offer anyhow.

Adam

[softfruit]

So if a bi social group was advertised in your area, and if it ALSO had a Newbie group that was only for new members to meet me, say at a coffee shop...


Here in Manchester one of our bi groups does something half-way in between: the first half-hour is a newbie group where you get told a little about the group, the wider bi scene, and can ask questions without being in a room full of people who seem to know one another; then after the newbie space everyone else joins in, so there isn't the need for organising two meetings instead of one.

[Toad82]

I would love to be able to do something like this, but I doubt that anything like this gets close enough to my area.

RJ:lokai:

[CSBForum]

Here in Manchester one of our bi groups does something half-way in between: the first half-hour is a newbie group where you get told a little about the group, the wider bi scene, and can ask questions without being in a room full of people who seem to know one another; then after the newbie space everyone else joins in, so there isn't the need for organising two meetings instead of one.

I like that idea! Although having it at two different days gives more people the opportunity to show up.

We have monthly meetings. I also have a yahoo web site they can join as soon as I met them.

I'm trying to get the most diverse crowd that I can, so it's not "cliquey" as DD complains. I try not be judgmental, so anyone could show up and feel welcome. But it's hard to get a lot of people to come out.

[gfofbiguy]

I suppose that what you mean by "come to a BBQ picnic" would be getting together to engage in the horrid, barbaric, communal practice of killing, roasting and eating one's fellow creatures in the interest of being friendly and social and allegedly well-fed.

Hmmmm, the last time I went to a BBQ, I don't remember "killing" my food...and also, most BBQ's that I attend also have vegetarian dishes for people who do not eat meat. Most of the BBQ's that I have attended center MORE around the SOCIAL aspect rather than the killing, roasting and eating of one's fellow creatures during the event. Maybe it's different in the part of Colorado that you're from, Adam...I don't know. I've not attended any BBQ's there.

[CSBForum]

And if you live anywhere close to Colorado Springs, AdamKadmon43, you are welcome to come to one of other monthly socials. We do not do the same thing all the time. Look in the events section. Email me!

[aisuhi]

We would go for sure!!

[softfruit]

I like that idea! Although having it at two different days gives more people the opportunity to show up.

We have monthly meetings. I also have a yahoo web site they can join as soon as I met them.

I'm trying to get the most diverse crowd that I can, so it's not "cliquey" as DD complains. I try not be judgmental, so anyone could show up and feel welcome. But it's hard to get a lot of people to come out.

I'm not knocking your keenness in having meets on varied days of the week at all!

I'd just add to my earlier comment though, that combining newbi(e) space and the main meet into one date means the organiser doesn't have to give up too much extra free time. It has much less of an activist-burnout factor to go along to run the newbies group each month, if you're going to be going into town anyhow to meet people you already know and are looking forward to going for a drink with.

[Gemini25]

I would absolutely LOVE to go to a BI social event. Here in Nevada City & Grass Valley California there is a GLBT potluck group, but I think I'm the only Bi in the group. The PFLAG group I belong to has a booth at the county fair every year and the BI information is the most popularly requested, and taken information every time. I'm going to start a BI social group in January 2008. I'm not sure how I'm giong to do it, but there seems to be enough of us here that we could at least have a BBQ, or potluck. If anyone has ANY ideas or comments on starting a social group please feel free to email me.
Michael :flag3:

[softfruit]

There are a number of sets of hints and tips already out there on the net. www.bicommunitynews.co.uk has an "A-Z of setting up a bi group" on its Resources page.

You might also try www.bisexual.org which I seem to remember has some more USA oriented equivalent stuff too. Or... er... what's the BiNet USA web page, anyone?? :flag4:

[Not2str8]

I would definitely attend bisexual-themed socials in my area, if only there were some. The one event I did attend, a "discussion group for gay and bisexual men", I was the only bisexual there. The reactions to my bisexuality ranged from
sincerely curious to accusations that I was calling myself bisexual because I was too chicken to admit being gay. I felt like I was on display at a museum or something. lol I'd LOVE to gather with other people who "get" bisexuality !!!

[pasco_lol_cpl]

Sounds like you had a horrible time. I agree that a bi social would be welcome in these parts

[softfruit]

I would definitely attend bisexual-themed socials in my area, if only there were some.

O'course, you know the answer to that problem...!

[jamiehue]

icecream