Am i diseased?

[chaoticxxxlust]

So i had the courage to tell my parents and they were telling me i was diseased and god hates me and all that.
I thought they would under stand but they didn't..
i just don't get it.. =(

[shameless agitator]

That sucks Chaotic. :( Unfortunately, some people are like that.

[chaoticxxxlust]

That sucks Chaotic. :( Unfortunately, some people are like that.

i know they were talking about bringing me to one of those camps to turn straight and i'm 18 i don't live there any more its no fair i thought people would just understand especially where i live =[

[jeancarleo]

It's sometimes hard for parents to accept us. I know my mom likes it when I have a girlfriend but not when I have a boyfriend.

Am not religious so I don't argue on that topic.

My biological brothers know and they don't like me but just get this in your head: IT'S YOUR LIFE, NOT THEIRS.

This is what we are (bisexuals) and we're happy this way. Are you happy?

[chaoticxxxlust]

Are you happy?

i'm just happy if they are sometimes because they always have fights about me and one time they broke up a few times and wanted to go separate ways =[
so i guess a part of me is and isn't

[jeancarleo]

i know they were talking about bringing me to one of those camps to turn straight and i'm 18 i don't live there any more its no fair i thought people would just understand especially where i live =[

Europe has more open-minded people, but there's still closed-minded people who would never accept this.

It's harder being bi than being gay or str8. Do you live with your parents?

[TaylorMade]

i know they were talking about bringing me to one of those camps to turn straight and i'm 18 i don't live there any more its no fair i thought people would just understand especially where i live =[

If you are over 18 and made your wishes known not to go through such a thing. . .what they are talking about is kidnapping, which should be a crime, correct?

Life isn't fair... some people will understand and some will not. That is the machinery of the world, no matter where you're from. Lack of understanding claims no province or territory as its home.

It is up to you to figure out where to go from here, and for another to interfere without your consent is at the very least, a violation of your autonomy.

*Taylor*

[chaoticxxxlust]

Do you live with your parents?
yeah at the time right now but i've been trying to look for a house but its quite hard

[jeancarleo]

yeah at the time right now but i've been trying to look for a house but its quite hard

How about just renting a room for yourself? I'm sure you work right? It seems you're not happy because they fight over you and that you feel may lead them to separate. But you have to think for yourself and do what you want to do in life. Any friends or relatives close by that might let you move in would be nice.

[chaoticxxxlust]

How about just renting a room for yourself? I'm sure you work right? It seems you're not happy because they fight over you and that you feel may lead them to separate. But you have to think for yourself and do what you want to do in life. Any friends or relatives close by that might let you move in would be nice.

yea your right, but they think i'm just a big attention whore and i can be but i'm not bi for just attention i know i do it for somewhat attention but your right i shouldn't care what they think i'm 18 =]
but it hurts me to hear my friend say i'm like an alien with a cork up my ass that makes me gay, its a very mean joke =[

[jeancarleo]

yea your right, but they think i'm just a big attention whore and i can be but i'm not bi for just attention i know i do it for somewhat attention but your right i shouldn't care what they think i'm 18 =]
but it hurts me to hear my friend say i'm like an alien with a cork up my ass that makes me gay, its a very mean joke =[

It's not always a great idea to come out to everyone, sometimes is best to just keep it to yourself or only teel those you really trust. Unfortunately your parents think differently. Yes it's your life, but like my dad once told me after he knew about me: "If you ever come to the house like your cousin Lucy (who's a lesbian) you can come in but he can't" He told me by that that he don't ever want to see me with another guy. So it's best not to talk about that subject to them anymore or to bring a girlfriend to them because then they will go psycho at you:eek:

[chaoticxxxlust]

It's not always a great idea to come out to everyone, sometimes is best to just keep it to yourself or only teel those you really trust. Unfortunately your parents think differently. Yes it's your life, but like my dad once told me after he knew about me: "If you ever come to the house like your cousin Lucy (who's a lesbian) you can come in but he can't" He told me by that that he don't ever want to see me with another guy. So it's best not to talk about that subject to them anymore or to bring a girlfriend to them because then they will go psycho at you:eek:
yeah i know but i know they are just protecting me but they should know I'm too classy to do something they wouldn't like.

[jeancarleo]

yeah i know but i know they are just protecting me but they should know I'm too classy to do something they wouldn't like.

Good girl:cool:

[FalconAngel]

So i had the courage to tell my parents and they were telling me i was diseased and god hates me and all that.
I thought they would under stand but they didn't..
i just don't get it.. =(

You are not diseased, but it sounds like your parents suffer from a severe case of dominion Christianity.

[elian]

yeah i know but i know they are just protecting me but they should know I'm too classy to do something they wouldn't like.

You certainly aren't diseased, most likely they are in shock. They had certain ideas, dreams and aspirations about who you are and what your potential might be in the world - all that has "changed" at least in their minds. They probably feel deceived - I'm not sure straight people understand what it's like to HAVE to lie for fear of not being loved.

Although I don't have hard facts, I believe I've read that a great many people are bi to some degree or other - but it's not something that people who are trying to "fit in" would admit to or talk about openly.

Do they have anything like PFLAG over in Europe? Here in the states they do have parental support groups - full of other parents who have come to terms with the gender of their children. Of course, to be open enough to GO to a support group you have to at least be willing to listen and right now I doubt they are.

Depending on how safe you feel it may be best to avoid the topic until you can find alternative living arrangements.

Remember this - we all possess a spark of the divine consciousness - what you did took great courage. If your feelings about being "bi" are genuine then you will experience times in your life that can seem very trying indeed. You are valuable and you are loved, just as you are - whoever that may be.

I pray that one day your parents will come to understand that you are the SAME person that you've always been.

Don't mean to scare you off, but the advice about not sharing too openly with others may be beneficial - I don't know about over there, but here in the states people have been known to lose jobs, personal property, status in the community or worse. So be sure the person you are telling is understanding and mature enough not to go spreading gossip and causing unneeded drama.

-E

[TaylorMade]

You are not diseased, but it sounds like your parents suffer from a severe case of dominion Christianity.

Wow... thanks for describing a religon as a disease... intolerance of LBGT people knows no religon either.

*Taylor*

[DiamondDog]

You are not diseased, but it sounds like your parents suffer from a severe case of dominion Christianity.

Pagans/Wiccans can be just as blindly dogmatic and judgemental as the other religions that they so vehemently claim that their religion is nothing like.

[FerociousFeline]

You certainly aren't diseased, most likely they are in shock. They had certain ideas, dreams and aspirations about who you are and what your potential might be in the world - all that has "changed" at least in their minds. They probably feel deceived - I'm not sure straight people understand what it's like to HAVE to lie for fear of not being loved.

Although I don't have hard facts, I believe I've read that a great many people are bi to some degree or other - but it's not something that people who are trying to "fit in" would admit to or talk about openly.

Do they have anything like PFLAG over in Europe? Here in the states they do have parental support groups - full of other parents who have come to terms with the gender of their children. Of course, to be open enough to GO to a support group you have to at least be willing to listen and right now I doubt they are.

Depending on how safe you feel it may be best to avoid the topic until you can find alternative living arrangements.

Remember this - we all possess a spark of the divine consciousness - what you did took great courage. If your feelings about being "bi" are genuine then you will experience times in your life that can seem very trying indeed. You are valuable and you are loved, just as you are - whoever that may be.

I pray that one day your parents will come to understand that you are the SAME person that you've always been.

Don't mean to scare you off, but the advice about not sharing too openly with others may be beneficial - I don't know about over there, but here in the states people have been known to lose jobs, personal property, status in the community or worse. So be sure the person you are telling is understanding and mature enough not to go spreading gossip and causing unneeded drama.

-E

Very well said E,

Thank you for that.

Now,

Here's my two cents worth:

First of all. What you have done is to be applauded. No matter what comes after that discussion with your folks, you have shown bravery and courage to do one of the most difficult tasks that there ever IS ....in life.

The task of differentiating yourself and your desires and your personality and your needs.........from those of your parents. Very hard stuff. You did it. Hat's off to you.

You see, it really doesn't MATTER.........WHAT....you decide to do, be, or how you see fit to express yourself. What you are doing in the process of letting your folks know how you feel is you are being self assertive. This is a wonderful and beautiful thing. It is, the first step in becoming the real Woman that you are.

It is very important that you realize that yeah, your parents and some of your friends and many acquaintances are going to throw a fit. Why? Well because you have insulted them! You have shown them that a person in their very midst is "ONE OF THOSE>>>>>"people"". You know?

The worst thing any of us can ever do to upset the applecart of our world,or the worlds of those who are next to us....is utterly FAIL to live up to THEIR expectations for us! How DARE us not just keep going like they are all used to? You see? The point is darlin', this is THEIR problem. NOT YOURS.

Your mission, (should you choose to accept it, and it looks like you have) is to honor your OWN needs and desires and step AWAY from the beige blandish citizens who cower in fear regarding any behavior that might bring the spotlight on them to showcase their individuality.

Now.....about your folks. What is MOST important to remember here is that they just (hopefully) care about you. They just don't know what to think, and the first thing that pops into MOST parent's mind the moment that they find out about something like this, is the unspoken tantamount fear of, "OMG! What did *I* DO WRONG?!!!!!"

Parents by their nature usually make all decisions for their children throughout the period of their children's lives where it is appropriate for them to do so. When a child comes to the parent and says suddenly, hey, I've made this decision on my own and it's a step towards my own independence and self determination from you, then parents freak out. First, because they don't want you to grow up. Second, because they are afraid for you. For your welfare. So, try to cut them some slack while they are busy freaking out. Initially, it is kind of you to be concerned about their input regarding your decision, but that's all it is....a kindness.....on your part.....for them.

Ultimately, you will decide to do what is best for you and you do not need validation from ANYONE other than your own heart....FOR THAT.

So, yeah, let them freak out, allow them the adjustment period where they realize that there is a WHOLE side of you that they have somehow "missed" and will have to learn if they intend to continue to be a part of your life.

Meanwhile, you stick to your instincts girl, because I think you're on the right track.

What's MOST important about ALL of this .....is how you feel about yourself.
Lick that, and then anything else that comes along will just come naturally.

I hope this helps.


FF

[coyotedude]

So i had the courage to tell my parents and they were telling me i was diseased and god hates me and all that.
I thought they would under stand but they didn't..
i just don't get it.. =(

No, you're not diseased.

That was easy! :)

(Oh, by the way, if you do happen to believe in God, your parents are wrong on that one, too - God doesn't hate you. If you don't happen to believe in God, then the issue is moot, of course.)

Peace

[parkerbi]

Why diseased? It's not your fault to be bisexual. As I know, most of us are born bi and it's part of gene. :bibounce:

[someotherguy]

Some parents have weird ideas. Fact of life. Not a problem. You can still bring your laundry home on the weekends.

[Sapphrodite]

Hey Chaotic,

Bisexuality isnt a disease, but it is sometimes difficult to get other people to understand your point of view. I did attempt coming out to my mother because I thought that she would be confused but supportive, and she was way more judgemental than I thought she could be. I just kinda swept it under the rug and told her that it was just idle thoughts and mended my fences with her.

As some of the other posts noted, you dont have to tell everyone that you're bi: in fact, depending on the tolerance and LGBTQ support in your community, you may choose not to 'come out' at all. That doesnt mean that you cant find support and friendship among the LGBTQ community in your area - you'd be surprised what support is available if you start looking!! There is also online communities such as this one that will always be here to give you a virtual hug when you need it *hugz*

I'm fairly practical when it comes to my bisexuality: I dont call up my friends and family every time I have sex with a man, so why would I call them up and say I'm having sex with a woman? There shouldnt be a reason to hide it but if it is going to compromise your relationships with people who are close to you, then build up a support network of people who do accept you, then selectively tell those who you feel should know. But be prepared for some falling out - we're just not living in the accepting world we all wsh for yet.

As a more humourous aside, go online and fnd a copy of the movie "But I'm a Cheerleader (http://amazon.imdb.com/title/tt0179116/)" - it's a tongue-in-cheek movie about a confused all-American girl whose strict parents and uber-straight friends hold an intervention and send 'Megan' off to Sexual Reorientation camp. You cant help but laugh and fall in love with the characters in this movie, it's still one of my favourites!!!

Sharing the movie with others might even be a gentle way to break the ice...

Take Care!!
~Sapphy~