What does the term "bisexual" mean to you??

[12voltman59]

Now that the troll attacks have abated---it is nice that we can once again discuss things in a more serious way without someone posting up things that only stir things up.

What I am wondering, as the title indicates, what bisexuality means to the members of the site?

I do suspect that each person has their own particular way to define the term and the ways they find bisexuality expresses in their lives differs per the individual.

To me--it does mean that I like sexual experiences with both females and males----perhaps to even have a relationship with another guy that goes beyond sex.

Being bi does not necessarily mean that I want to have mfm or fmf three ways.

While I am still rather new to all of this compared to some--for me the utlimate goal would be to find a bisexual lady who has her girlfriend or girlfriends and I would have a buddie or buddies "with benefits."

Those side relationships would not necessarily be mutually shared--except perhaps even once and a while---and while we would each have our respective same sex partners on the periphery of our relationship with each other----I would not want her to have an emotionally intimate relationship with another guy and I would not want to have a similar relationship with another lady.

So bottom line---from time to time it might be fun to have either a mfm or an fmf 3 way thing---that would not be a primary goal.

We would have our main relationship and she could have her female play partner or partners and I would have my male play partner or partners too.

Alternately--if I were to have a emotional/romatic/intimate relationship with a guy-that I would be free to have a relationship with a lady if that came along and if a time came that this relationship ends--I would free to have future emotionlally intimate relationships with ladies.

I am interested to see how each of you who responds to this post defines bisexuality for yourself.

[Randypan]

{Male Half}

For me, I love the look, feel and smell of male and female bodies. When I was young, anonymous, quick encounters were fine. I've found as I've aged, this is no longer appealing. What I want now are friends who I can totally be myself with. I'm sick of having to censor myself around everyone except my wonderful wife. We are pagan/bisexuals in a Christian homophobic world. I long to be around friends that a caress or a comment won't get me a punch to the head or the loss of a friend.

Bisexual = the sharing of physical and/or emotional pleasure, regardless of gender.

[TaylorMade]

Nothing and everything.

It feels like a disposable part of my identity. . .if a stranger doesn't ask, I don't volunteer it. It's not stapled to my forehead or sewn into my skin.

But-- it colors everything. It helps me choose my friends and partners. It colors how I relate to my family. It even (almost) decided what to do with the only thing more entwined with the essence of who I was: my faith.

It's a force I don't fully understand, but I am just learning to live with it.

*Taylor*

[vittoria]

"What does the term 'bisexual' mean to you??"

David Bowie.

Nuff said.:cool:

[eddy10]

For me, bisexuality is a physical not an emotional characteristic. Although I feel the need to be "friends first," I do not need nor want a deeper emotional connection.

[wicked_game_]

The term 'bisexual' to me means the equal attraction, both emotionally and physically, to both males and females. I do not prefer one over the other. I would gladly date both without any qualms.

My bisexuality is a constant in my life, and it influences a great deal of the decisions I make and the relationships I forge. But yet, it doesn't overrule everything. If my husband ever said that he would prefer I didn't play with females then I wouldn't because he is the most important person in my life besides my children but I would never cease being attracted to them as much as I am attracted to men.

[chook]

To me bisexual means.......Any port in a storm......:tongue:


Cheers Chook :bigrin:

[darkeyes]

Me luffly Naggy.. an peeps me has gotten 2 kno an luff ova last few years who jus happen 2 fancy peeps of eitha gender an who mucha the world mistrusts, dislikes, h8s but mosta all neitha knos or undastands an worst of all don even try ... tf the resta the world r a lil bit more human... peeps who r warm, funny, undastandin an wud do ne thin 2 help each otha outa a pickle.. peeps like ne otha wiv opinions, beliefs, passions an luff an who deserve moren the world has eva given em..:flag4:

[dark matter]

To me it first of all means equal (or more or less so) emotional attraction to females and males, physical attraction running up:tongue: I love strong masculine bodies and I'm never attracted to gays or femme type boys. On the contrary, it is elegant feminine women I'm drawn to. However, I'm very very choosy with ladies, and the first thing to catch my eye is the looks, cause she's gotta be a slender Audrey Hepburn or Lena Olin type, if to generalize it. But sure thing, reality usually takes its toll.:flag4:
So, to sum it up, I guess it's first of all that feeling of elation, when I spot the breathtaking masculinity of a guy and the beauty of a girl...And for a short while I feel like caressing them. And then...well, remember that Rush song: "Roll the bones"?:three:

[darkeyes]

To me bisexual means.......Any port in a storm......:tongue:


Cheers Chook :bigrin:Sheep, Kangaroos an Wallabies Chookie huh?
:bigrin:

[still_shy]

LOL Fran!

What it means to me is that I'm an 'equal opportunity' lover. <grin>
I enjoy sex with males and females equally and can also have an intimate, emotional relationship with either. Some people would define it differently, but that's the way it is for me. It's not a lifestyle or choice, just the way I am. A part of me that I have learned to embrace and enjoy at much as possible, rather than hide it away as I used to.

[mel85]

Well I am very new to all this "as in I only admitted to myself about a month ago that I am Bi". It has kept me away from any type of relationship with anyone man or woman. I thought that I was suppose to choose gay or straight sins everyone said that there is no such thing you are gay or you are straight. Never understood how I can be interested in both.

But I feel that Bi to me is an attraction to both men and woman so dating, friendship, love ext with man or woman is fine by me. I am a bit old fashioned so one at a time ;) for me.

I am still exploring my feelings but that is what Bi means to me.:)

[Toad82]

Well I am very new to all this "as in I only admitted to myself about a month ago that I am Bi". It has kept me away from any type of relationship with anyone man or woman. I thought that I was suppose to choose gay or straight sins everyone said that there is no such thing you are gay or you are straight. Never understood how I can be interested in both.

But I feel that Bi to me is an attraction to both men and woman so dating, friendship, love ext with man or woman is fine by me. I am a bit old fashioned so one at a time ;) for me.

I am still exploring my feelings but that is what Bi means to me.:)


For me it means that someone is sexually and/or emotionally attracted to “only” two genders. (ex. male and female, or male and M2F, or female and androgynous, etc.)

RJ:lokai:

[Lienda]

Sexual attraction to male and female, not how many, or who we sleep with.

[void()]

"The term 'bisexual' to me means the equal attraction, both emotionally and physically, to both males and females. I do not prefer one over the other." - wicked

I have the same view, only hitched to a wife. Glad she understands.

[dickhand]

To me being bi sexual means a sexual attraction to either gender . I have never been emotionally attracted to a man , but I do love m2m sex as much as m2f sex . It is a fuck the one you're with type thing .

[cand86]

I used to use the old standard "equal opportunity lover, ability to fall in love with/feel sexual attraction for any gender", but lately it doesn't seem to encompass enough for me; it feels too passive. I'm not just somebody sitting around waiting for stimulus and responding to it positively, but rather somebody who actively feels attraction. I'm still looking for a way to make that distinction, even though it's a very slight one. I just want to differentiate myself from people who can fall in love with both genders and from there sexual attraction follows, since it seems like there are a lot of women who are that way. I don't know that there's a way to specify it, or even that I'd want to break things down between emotional/romantic and sexual capacities . . . we don't need more labels and confusing boxes.

But yeah. There. Completely confusing and not clear at all!

[innaminka]

For me, initially, it meant confusion for many years: there was a "hole" somewhere in my persona.
With time, experience and perhaps a tiny sliver of wisdom, being Bi now means I am aware that I respond equally (no probably not equally) to both sexes and I am capable of loving another person regardless of their sex and all that that emotion entails.
For me it does NOT mean 3-somes or anything like that; that would cheapen how i felt to the other person. My encounters are very much 1:1.
What it does mean however is that I still need to keep working on my emotional self, but enjoy the learning process.
Its a part of me - I am still the same person.

[Santini32]

To me it means the best of both worlds. I know that sounds simple, but I am not attracted to men, have had numerous female encounters, and only a few m4m, where I recived oral. Does that make me BI? I don't know. The thought of M4M sex does not disgust me, nor do I seek it out. If someone of either sex is willing, then I am more than willing to participate. I guess I am confused as to where I fall into the category. Either way, I don't regret anything I have done. F

[mwmrichva]

I am a married white male, I have been married for 35 years and wouldn’t change that for anything. I am also bisexual, sometimes I would rather be with my wife and at other times I would rather be with a buddy. My relationship with my wife is deep, intimate, fun and lasting. My relationship with my buddy is fun, a person to go fishing with, to work on weekend projects with and to give each other a blow job. But not like the deep intimate relationship I have with my wife.

[DareMe]

To me it means having the capacity to find the other sex and same sex attractive.

DM

[onewhocares]

Well, I guess as a spouse of a bi man, it is a most interesting question. I guess, for me it was an answer to ever so so many questions that I had about our intimate relationship that I have with my husband but not so much about me.

To me.....it means an understanding of the desires that my husband has to have...... to have a man in his life. That no matter what I do to try and tempt him....smoothe tanned body, sexy lingere, fine wine, nice romantic settings, he will NEVER feel the same way about me as he would feel about being with a man, or having a man part of his life. I have, in most respects...given up on his desiring ME. It is never going to happen.

I would like to know, and perhaps this is not the thread ( oh my, I may start one of my own) how spouses of bi folks cope?


I guess, where I to be bisexual, YES I was with one wonderful amazing woman two years ago in May. She was smart, sensual and a dear sweet woman but alas I felt no sexual desire when we made love. I guess I made love for the wrong reason........(ask Curi to try).

Even Now, as the days have turned into months and the month well into longer months....I can no longer,opps have I ever made him happy...........NOPE.




Belle

[yaeasstotts]

"The term 'bisexual' to me means the equal attraction, both emotionally and physically, to both males and females. I do not prefer one over the other." - wicked

I have the same view, only hitched to a wife. Glad she understands.

That sounds great. Equals my opinion but,I no longer have a wife, for several years.:)

[parkerbi]

bisexual means everything to me. no bi, no me.:bigrin:

[arana]

It means the freedom to love and desire whomever I please regardless of their gender. Not to be committed to a specific type cast because society says that's what I have to do. I'm allowed to let my heart choose not the moral majority.

[Cesca]

It is what I am an my partner isn't.

[bigredpigdriver]

The wife and I are think of yourselves as bi as in we do have sex with the same sex. We do not want the emotional ties nor are we stepping out on each other. We have a sexual need and we share that with each other. Our lovers are friends as we feel it adds to the relax feeling and make it enjoyable for all. We do find it hard to add to our “coupling” because of the love we have for each other, we find it hard sometimes to add to the “flock”, but we are always open to talk first, friendship second, sex third:three:

[diB4u]

For me it implies an emotional and a physical contact.

It can be a sense of freedom.
It can also be a life choice, who i meet and make as friends, as potential, as soul mates, as work friends.

It can help me blend in the background. I can be who ever I choose to be.

But also add another label to who I am.

Being bisexual can stigmatise me, but can also make me stronger.


I like eating chocolate spread, with marmite and tuna and mayo sandwhich in one. My tastes are in sandwhiches reflexs the personalities that I'm attracted to. Just like my choices in sandwhich fillings why should I have to have just chicken ham or salad fillings?

[kitten]

a term that tries to encompass the desire I have for individuals who just may happen to be the same gender or not.

[Rambigent]

Part of the reason I came to this site is to explore what "bisexual" means for me. I've known for a long time that I have the capacity to be physically attracted to members of either sex. I guess I've always kind of assumed that the majority of people have a little attraction to both genders, and the real "abnormal" people are the ones who are ONLY attracted to the opposite sex, or the same sex. So in my interpretation, the majority of people who identify as "straight" or "gay" are actually "bisexual". Of course, it's possible that this is just a projection of what seems natural to me.

Lately I've been thinking and caring less about what "bisexual" means for the rest of the people and more about what it means to me. I am more open now to accepting the idea that my attraction to men goes beyond an occasional desire for hot guy-on-guy action. In the past, I've tried to avoid the "bisexual" classification by saying I'm "mostly straight" or "heteroflexible", meaning that I'm straight but occasionally open to playing with another guy in the right situation. I guess I've always been afraid of the stigma attached to being bisexual. But I'm comfortable enough with myself now to admit that I am bisexual. I'm open to physical and emotional relationships with all genders. I'm comfortable enough to declare my bisexuality to my close friends. I'm not totally open yet, but being open to myself is a good start.

[badkitty87]

Bisexual is the term that stopped me being a teenager confused by who i am.. I am attracted to women but i'm not lesbian. I'm attracted to men but i'm not straight. and by attracted i mean physically and emotionally. I feel that for me there would be no way to be any other way. I sometimes don't understand why everyone isn't bisexual because down to my very fibres it seems right.

Bisexuality for me doesn't mean that i can't be monogamous.but it means that i'm open to monogamous relationships with either gender and it makes me free to go into the world and love whomever will love me.

[Ninnian]

:cool: For me bisexuality is not so much a definition as it is a state of acceptance. It torques me when someone requires me to fit into a box of thier making, so when I think of being bisexual.. ist a 'small b' term. When I have to explain it to those few that I think need to know, I term it this way...

" Its like Art. All art is different and only You know what attracts you to a specific creator or peice. Being bisexual to me is like looking at artwork and not caring whether the peice is Impressionist or Contemporary.. I *desire* it in any manner of the ways one may, and the packaging doenst matter."

It seems to make sense to me that way.

Nin

[Sarasvati]

A bisexual person may exhibit no bisexuality. They may simply be in a monogamous relationship. You would only know if that person was bisexual if they told you themselves or they had had a series of relationships with either gender which you were aware of.

The question is what is "bisexuality". So what is it?

[12voltman59]

Good job in banning and deleting the troll again Drew--thanks----this guy is something--he just does not give it up!!!

They need to take his photo and use it on one of those business motivational posters that so many companies have hanging all around the office---

His picture on the poster with the word "Perserverance" written up in big letters above his mug.

[12voltman59]

To answer the dingleballs troll and anyone else who did wonder why I asked this question---

I really do hate labels, designations and things of that sort--but human nature being what it is--we have such a need to catagorize, label and identify things--so be it.

My purpoose here was to see if we as people who consider ourselves bisexual can come up with our own, best definition for what bisexuality is that might be more workable for us---than how the term is usually defined.

It is interesting to me to see what different people think on this subject----
I don't think that we are ready to come up with anything yet--there is no timetable or anything---and we don't have to do anything at all--it was more out of my own curiosity to see how peoole define the term "bisexualtiy" for themselves, seperated from other related topics and issues.

Of course, "our friend" doesn't seem to have the mental capacity to be able to discern my intent in opening this thread--- that is no surprise.

[Stroker90803]

This is a question I've pondered. Some people say that beinf bisexual means that you have an ability to develop emotional, love relationship with someone of the same sex. Or is it that you just like to play and have sex with a person of the same sex? I can see there being a definition of both, together. But in terms of either, is one right and the other wrong --- can you have physical activity with some one of the same sex, but no emotional attachment and still be bisexual? Frankly, I can't see myself getting involved with another man emotionally for any reason --- but play is okay. And where a woman (or two) is also involved, it's even better. But still, no emotional relationship wanted of needed.

[badkitty87]

:cool: For me bisexuality is not so much a definition as it is a state of acceptance. It torques me when someone requires me to fit into a box of thier making, so when I think of being bisexual.. ist a 'small b' term. When I have to explain it to those few that I think need to know, I term it this way...

" Its like Art. All art is different and only You know what attracts you to a specific creator or peice. Being bisexual to me is like looking at artwork and not caring whether the peice is Impressionist or Contemporary.. I *desire* it in any manner of the ways one may, and the packaging doenst matter."

It seems to make sense to me that way.

Nin


hear hear!:bowdown:

and: what irks me is that some people also assume that if you are bisexual you also have to be poyamorous. which is definitely not the case with me. I'm sure with the right person I could feel secure enough for that but i also believe i can be satisfied with one gender if that person is right for me.

[Vikkster230]

I guess that's one reason why I looked for this site... I've known that for me it wasn't cut and dry men and only men. So far it's all that it's been though. I really liked how it was said in Chasing Amy about how Alyssa didn't want to just cut off 50% of the population.

I think for me, if I could find a special someone who was the female equivalent of my husband, I'd be happier than a pig in shit. (Now that's not a Sexist remark, it's just an expression.)

I find other men attractive, but there's already a man who's it for me. So does that mean that I'm gay with a male lover?

I agree with most who have come before me and know that it's being open to the idea of being with a man and or woman and the freedom to pursue it.

[pottzie]

What if it was "defined" (hate that word) as anything that wasn't entirely hetro or entirely homo.
What's wrong with just "It all tastes like chicken"?

[Randypan]

That was an interesting question to ask! As the female half of Randypan I can only speak for myself, but I think *he* would say something similar.... It doesn't have any deep, philosophical meaning for me. Simply put I like girls and boys equally. I have ALWAYS been attracted sexually and emotionally to boys and to girls. I have had crushes on both. I have even been in love with both, although I could not express my feelings for the girl I was in love with (she would have beat my I ass, or so I thought). Bi sexual is not my cry of freedom or my reason to 'be myself'. I am not curious....I was hot for Snow White and I knew I wanted to marry Spiderman at 7....I think that about sums it up for me.:yinyang: PEACE