centered around sex

[trubipoly]

I am a Man that has so many aspects of who I am and yes part of me consist of me being bisexual but everything I do and say in life doesnt revolve around sex itself. I find that so many people when chatting only want to know about the sexual part of you and not all of who you are...Yes I am bisexual but that doesnt mean all I know is sex. does anyone else run into this ?

[Bluebiyou]

Well, it doesn't define us, and it does.
After all, if you're totally gay, how much time do you spend developing a deep relationship with a girl; vice versa. But, of course, that said, there is much more to a relationship than sex. I'd love nothing more than to have a male lover/friend who would work with me on a fine wood project or pull an engine block or have wonderful sex.
The desire for sex can be so compelling at times that it is all we care about, and we forget the other stuff. Plus, as we age (yes, I'm older than you trubipoly) the sheer need for sex decreases and thus... other things become more important.

[Isaac Steel]

Being bisexual is just one part of us. I just had a conversation with a close friend about this topic. All of us are more complex than just our sexuality. While I have come to be proud and out as bisexual there other important facets of my life.:flag3:

[onewhocares]

I face this issue on this site all the time. I am NOT bisexual but I am the wife of a bisexual man. While I do enjoy the pleasure of my husband and a lover very much it does not define the person that I am. I do not post a photo of myself here as I want people to get to know me...Belle the person with in me and the woman I am before they make assumptions upon my attractive or non attractiveness. I want to get to know the person I am chatting with. What makes them laugh or cry..how they grew up and how they make their living. So many want a brief introduction and then into what do you look like, how about your body parts...what is your favorite position? If you do not take the time to get to know me, then you do not deserve the right to ask or have those questions answered. I know that I am not alone in these feelings.

Belle

[wikskul]

i get this all the time.. but most dont understand that Bi doesnt mean nympho.. but then again u are asking people to understand what something is in real life not in make believe world.... and that sometimes is too much to ask. i get by this by steering a convo away from sex... and if they dont want to talk to me as a person.. then they can go on their way. it is hard for people to understand what is real and fiction but have faith, there are some out there who dont see us (who are bi) as just sex addicts.. but see us as normal human beings... and those who think that we are and u steer them from the sex talk to the person u r .. those are the ones u educate.. and be proud u are showing people who we are.. through u....
Dont worry about the ones who refuses to think of us as nothing more then sex toys... just keep trying, it is frustrating i know, but it is worth it in the end.
Patience is what is needed, cause so many are so blind out there, but as long as u can do what u can to try and make them see u as a person, the better u r.:bipride:

[PearlGirl]

I have not chatted yet (just figured out how to get the Java working and finally was able to enter the chat room without the internet crashing:smilies12). Since I am new to this I am wondering if folks have any advice for chatters who want to discuss more than just sexual matters.

[BiphobiaFighter]

PearlGirl, if someone wants to talk to you about something you don't want to, they should be okay with it if you tell them. :)

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Oh Yes. I encounter this all of the time. Just because I am Bi and female doesnt automatically mean I want to talk about what size my boobs are or what I like to do sexually and how many times a day-week-month-year do I have sex..ect. I get tired of the same old grind, and you'd be surprised how many men think its ok to simply want to talk about my sex life or talk to me (Or other women) while they get off. I ticked off a man in chat the other day over this very thing. Every time he saw me all he wanted to do was talk about how he'd like to get off on my boobs or share them with his boyfriend, and he got down right pissed when I told him I was sick of hearing it, and didnt he have a life outside of fantascizing about my tits?? Oh well...
If he cant see that there are other things about me besides a large set of tits, then he is thinking with the wrong, head..obviously.

If you encounter someone that only wants to talk sex, simply tell them that you dont Want to talk about it right then, or not at all if that's your preference.
Just stand up and say so, Darlin. :}
Cat (gots claws) lol

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Uhmm, which one of us are you refering to, Oakland....?
Confused Cat

[trubipoly]

wow oaklandhippiechick is one angry person.. I AM polyamorous which you dont have to agree with. I have the ability to love more than one person and do so. Do I love and enjoy sex? absolutely but the relationship is far more of interest to me than just the sexual part (again you dont have to agree) but personal attacks? hmmm someone must have hurt and lied to you and you now put everyone in the same boat. I do have nude pics of myself in my profile because i am an exobitionist too and yes I flirt with people all the time but it is not ALL I am. but hey you can feel how you like, it is what makes the world beautiful that everyone is different. however think about how your actions affect others before you do so. I hope you can someday let go of the anger .no profile ? hiding something? Peace

[rassilon953]

Cripes! A lot's already been said which does make sense - HippieChick's answer was obviously very to-the-point and, to me, the most honest yet on this thread - but then, I'm normally on gaydar where your profile goes into much more intimate detail - for example, for "body hair" you choose from hairy, some, little, none or shaved, and for "role" you have 5 options, active and passive being 1 and 5, versatile being 3 and 2 and 4 are versatile with a preference for active or passive.

Which is why I think - to an extent - The Chick makes an inarguable point about this being a site based around sexuality. However, I'd temper that argument by modifying her observations with the simple statement that everybody has different attitudes about everything. Just because every single one of us has sexual encounters with males, females, ourselves or not at all, does not mean that each of us must, by virtue of being a member of this (for example) site, discuss our sexual preferences with all and sundry. Whatever each of us is rated on the Kinsey scale, what about the scale that measures propensity to discussion of sexual preferences, and, also (possibly as a superfunction), shyness in general? By which I simply mean, someone could be a raging bisexual and really shy at the same time. Which is why gaydar almost always, no matter how intimate the question, gives the option of "rather not say". We all tell people what we want to, no more, without better knowing the person we're telling.

All of which leads me to this: in the chat room on this site, it's not the easiest of things to check out somebody's complete profile and what they're looking for. Or am I missing something? We, the members, could adopt the policy of making it quite clear on our profiles what we find acceptable in terms of what we're happy to talk about, but unless that profile is readily available within a click or two to the correspondent, that won't help. So then my question becomes, to what extent does this site respond to the suggestions of its members?

None of which addresses the original post. Sorry. To answer that, my feeling is, nobody has the right to ask anybody anything deeply personal unless they have been given some kind of signal that it's ok to do so. Membership of a website such as this, which - whilst containing the letters "sex" in its domain name - is intended for social networking (like Facebook etc) does not give anybody a passport to licentious lewdity. I've not looked at the bisexual.com profiles of any of the previous posters, but if you don't want a certain kind of attention, don't give up your right to non-sexual messages by including sexual detail in your advert. The people who you'd want to attract will find out through conversation, not by being direct with you, whether or not you will want to share that kind of info.

Charlie

[wikskul]

(dont mind the spelling)
sorry but i have to say this. Oakland, no one is saying that we dont think of sex, or like it, or want it, the thing is that some of us actually like to have a real convo, one where sex isnt the issue, i enjoy a sexual convo just like the next person, but to start off as " can i see ur..." or what position is ur fav, is not how to get to know a person, i admitt i like to have them at times, but not all the time, and if i am looking for friends, or possibly more, that isnt what i am wanting. being sexual from the get go alot of the times ( not all the time) doesnt work out for a long term relationship. When u are trying to conect on a person to person basis, and wanting to get to know a person, to conect with a person, sex is not what is needed, right off the bat. Sex is great and yes we are human and sex is a big thing in 99% of the population, but at times it isnt wanted. not everyone wants to get to know someone just on a sexual level. so please before u start calling someone a lier, and start insulting them, please think of someone elses situation, or point of view first. i am not trying to fight with u and i wont fight with u, but please dont attack someone on the basis that u dont agree with what they say, or u think they are lying just because u dont understand where they are coming from, or how they think. everyone is different on how they think and how they react to things. So i am asking u please be respectful like u would expect everyone to be to u.
If u have an opinion, please share, everyone has a right to their opinion, and to hear others opinions makes us better, but to attack someone to make sure ur opinion is heard, would u like it if someone did that to u?
:2cents:

[catcir1]

Well...I don't have this issue. I'm pretty much centered on sex. I'm shallow that way ;) So Hippie Chick...feel free to approach me with lewd comments at any time...;)

[trubipoly]

well to each thier own hippie. I am laughing reading how you know me so well yet dont know me. if you ever want to actually chat about it instead of trying to boost yourself up by lowering others then hey lets chat , I am not upset or mad by your comments and really could care less if you agree but am willing to chat about it if you are.... Merry Christmas

[Long Duck Dong]

I look at tru bis profile and i see a man that is saying I am a sexual being... but I am proud of being myself and I am not ashamed of myself....and I am a exhibitionist.. so i will post pics that show that aspect of myself....

now how a exhibitionist having nude pics is somehow actually being him centered around sex.... is a lil confusing to me

using that scenerio of centered around sex... then every person that poses for nude or semi nude shoots in a mag, is centered around sex.....

however, tru bi is right...beyond the sex is a person.....and that applies to every body.....

I mean seriously, we do get out of bed and go to work and have friends and lovers etc etc etc..... our lives have sex in them, but it is hardly every aspect of our lives

well unless you work as a porn star

I really think that unless hippiechick really have something to say about the subject and not about the person that she is judging without knowing.....that hippiechick should stop and think about the image she is putting out there for others to see

cos its coming over clearly as hippiechick having a personal issue with tru bi.....rather than stating or sharing a opinion about the subject matter

[TwylaTwobits]

I started not to post here as I am not a Bisexual, but as a woman I get this a lot. Even in a chat room on a game I play that is supposed to be Pg 13 you will always have idiots who can't see past a name or on a site like this past a picture. Every person has value and it's getting to know them that is the real treasure. I have met a few people on here who make me smile and being in love with a bisexual has opened my eyes a great deal to the world around me. I know there is more to him and I love everything I have found in him so far and look forward to the future when I can really hold him and not just have conversations about it.

[trubipoly]

well Rushlimbark you have a right to your opinion just like everyone else but we have already went over this with another person that didnt agree with me (how come thier post are not still on here by the way?)

Do I love sex? yes

Is my life centered around sex? no

do I post responses in post about sex? yes

because I have nude pics in my profile (exobitionist) means that is all I want? no

like anyone else I love sex but there is far more to me than that and its not all I want to talk about.

do I think I am above others? sometimes with certain individuals but not as a rule.

[yummyvj@yahoo.com]

HI TO ALL OF YOU .......TEACH ME PLS HOW TO ENTER THE CHAT HERE..THANX..SEE MY PROFILE A LOT OF PIC

[_Joe_]

I am a Man that has so many aspects of who I am and yes part of me consist of me being bisexual but everything I do and say in life doesnt revolve around sex itself. I find that so many people when chatting only want to know about the sexual part of you and not all of who you are...Yes I am bisexual but that doesnt mean all I know is sex. does anyone else run into this ?

Well, I'm going through some inner turmoil lately myself. I used to be a very sexual person, lately I'm just not so much anymore. Maybe its age. Maybe its Stress. More than likely is the medication I'm on to stop my anger-mood-swings (and its antidepressent). I run into it alot here and there on some sites, and just shrug it off and try to ignore it. However it does dig in on me, reminding me I once was into it, now I'm not ... and now I think I'm defective or soemthing. bleh

[TH2009]

Most of the guys that are centered around sex (mostly bar people) are not worthy wasting your time with. I run in to the same thing, it's the top priority of so many gay men. They want to know what you do and can you do it NOW. I thought it was just me that ran in to this problem, but apparently not! :bigrin:

[darkeyes]

Am a sexual bein..hav luffed bein a sexual bein an all it entails since me 1st gud experience of it... an before that dreamed bout it fore me even knew wot it wos.. hav at times pursued it wiv a vengeance.. hav been accused a bein a sexually predatory bein an sum 1 who can thinka lil else an who will stop at nowt 2 get me own way an 2 satisfy me desires.. its all rubbish a course..but ther is a germ a truth in it.. moren a germ.. but howeva much me luffs sex.. howeva much it means 2 me its not everythin 2 me.. its a huge part a me life... but me partner..our kids..me family ..me m8s..the world an its occupants..me personal aims an beliefs all mean much moren jus the satisfyin of an animal desire.. wosn always the case mus admit... 1ce upon a time did occasionally.. well often.. compromise ne or alla the things wich me holds closest 2 me heart for a sexual encounter...cant say me won eva do it gain...but am a lil oldern wiser now... an experience has taught me that ther r sum kindsa pain 2 much for even the ficklest a hearts... :)

[csrakate]

Am a sexual bein..hav luffed bein a sexual bein an all it entails since me 1st gud experience of it... an before that dreamed bout it fore me even knew wot it wos.. hav at times pursued it wiv a vengeance.. hav been accused a bein a sexually predatory bein an sum 1 who can thinka lil else an who will stop at nowt 2 get me own way an 2 satisfy me desires.. its all rubbish a course..but ther is a germ a truth in it.. moren a germ.. but howeva much me luffs sex.. howeva much it means 2 me its not everythin 2 me.. its a huge part a me life... but me partner..our kids..me family ..me m8s..the world an its occupants..me personal aims an beliefs all mean much moren jus the satisfyin of an animal desire.. wosn always the case mus admit... 1ce upon a time did occasionally.. well often.. compromise ne or alla the things wich me holds closest 2 me heart for a sexual encounter...cant say me won eva do it gain...but am a lil oldern wiser now... an experience has taught me that ther r sum kindsa pain 2 much for even the ficklest a hearts... :)

Aww...my little Frannie is growing up! hehe....Makes ol' Mumsy soo proud!

[grxclaus]

I encounter the same thing. I'm really looking for a relationship that includes friendship and sex but usually encounter the guys that are more worried about the size of my cock and what I am in to. Another thing that is annoying is that after they known me for ten seconds, they want to have phone sex. I'm not in to that at all.

[darkeyes]

Aww...my little Frannie is growing up! hehe....Makes ol' Mumsy soo proud!

Huh!!!!... not 2 sure its that brill an idea...but nev mind mumsie..can stilll put on the babba voice an rob me dad blind wen a lil skint!!! ..an still luffs me mum an Naggy's faces wen 'e opens 'is wallet an hands ova the dosh... don need it so much nowadays but no matta...mus keep me hand in jus in case Fran has a personal credit crunch!!!:bigrin:

Can me still bounce onya knee tho?? Even in far distant future wen u ole an wizened but still yums an me jus ole bit less wizened but still yums an all???:tong:

[csrakate]

Huh!!!!... not 2 sure its that brill an idea...but nev mind mumsie..can stilll put on the babba voice an rob me dad blind wen a lil skint!!! ..an still luffs me mum an Naggy's faces wen 'e opens 'is wallet an hands ova the dosh... don need it so much nowadays but no matta...mus keep me hand in jus in case Fran has a personal credit crunch!!!:bigrin:

Can me still bounce onya knee tho?? Even in far distant future wen u ole an wizened but still yums an me jus ole bit less wizened but still yums an all???:tong:

You betcha!!! ;)

[darkeyes]

You betcha!!! ;)

Gud ole mumsie..knew ya wudn lemme down..wos worried boutcha arthritis an me bad bak that wos all..:tong:

[csrakate]

Gud ole mumsie..knew ya wudn lemme down..wos worried boutcha arthritis an me bad bak that wos all..:tong:
No worries, baby girl...I may be older than dirt but so far not afflicted with arthritis or any other such age related issues. I can always manage to bounce you on my knee as well as continue to send you to your room if you are misbehaving...LOL!

[darkeyes]

No worries, baby girl...I may be older than dirt but so far not afflicted with arthritis or any other such age related issues. I can always manage to bounce you on my knee as well as continue to send you to your room if you are misbehaving...LOL!

....not alone me hopes...don like 2 b alone....me
mite cry... :tong: long as me lil leccie chums r ther..me will b quite happy... :tong::bigrin:;)

[trubipoly]

how do I switch the forums back to english?

[Apleasureseeker]

Well, it looks like people here post about whatever's on their mind. If you posty anything about yourself, i'm betting it'lll appeal to someone else here. If you want to talk about something you may as well start, or you'll be waiting a long time.

As for the matter of sex talk in general, well, this is a special interest chat group. If it were about boating, it would stand to reason that people talk about boating issues. Seing a bisexual group, people talk about bisexual issues.

[Jackal]

I think that GLBT phobia has forced people to talk about their sexuality and sex life more than is necessary or relevant. Since society defines a man who likes men as 'gay' and nothing else; we too are forced to treat something that is only one aspect of our personalities and lives as the whole picture. This is why the descriptor 'bisexual' only comes into my conversation after people get to know me; it prevents me being know as 'the bi girl'; or at least it helps.