what made you go for your first time, after hesitating before?

[mrplayfuluk]

i am in that place where I want to explore my bi side but as i am still uncertain, I'm curious to know what others went through, before being intimate with someone of the same sex and what made you go for it. did it live up to expectations? did you get up to as much as you expected to? what surprised you? did it make you question your sexuality? I'm sure there are plenty of bi curious people coming here who would love to know your experiences. It would certainly help me.
:bowdown:

[billy_campbell]

I was curious for 20 years before I did anything with another guy and the first time I was passive with the guy. I had discussed my desires with a lady friend of mine and she suggested I try it and see if I liked it. I was nervous and always thought I would be concerned or upset that I let another man touch me. However, I was very surprised that I did not feel that I had done anything wrong or that I should feel bad about what I did. I sort thought it was funny that I had more guilt over have sex with a girl the first time than I did with another man. It most certainly lived up to my expections. My only question about my sexuality was why had I waited so many years to try it. I was not in any relationship at the time and I decided that I wanted to experience what I had been thinking about for 20 years. That was several years ago and I have only been with a man one other time when a lady got me and another one of her friends together because she wanted to see what it would be like for two guys to be together.

[Confused4life]

First of all, I never admited to myself that I was attracted to women. Part of the reason for that was because I had never really met a woman in person that I was attracted to. So far I have been with one woman. She is my best friend. When I first met her, I thought she had this certain confidence about her that was absolutly the sexiest thing I had ever saw before. But I didn't really think anything of it. The one night she called upset and after about an hour we wound up having phone sex. Now I have had plenty of phone sex with men, and generally it was just me faking it so they could get their rocks off. This time however I was way into it, and definately not faking. There was just something in her voice and the noises that she made when she was turned on that got to me. Well the next day we talked about it and agreed that it couldn't go any further. But she would be happy to talk to me about the feelings that I was having or find someone else for me to talk to. Well a couple weeks ago, we went out. We were supposed to go out with my BF but went to dinner alone to talk about some stuff going on. We met up with my BF later at a bar. Apparently I had been giving her the eye all night cause when we left together for me to take her home...she told me to pull over somewhere cause she wanted to kiss me. I guess I started shaking cause she asked if I was ok and wanted to know if I wanted to kiss her.....my answer was more then you could possibly know. Well long story short we kissed, and then alot more. We both agreed that we could only be together that once (oh did I mention she is married?) Then a week later she came over and we wound up in bed again.

Did it surprise me? Yes it did. I was very surprised at how excited I was, at how thrilling the thought of kissing her was. OMG the anticipation of knowing as soon as I stopped my car I was going to kiss her was amazing. I drive a stick and I could hardly push in the clutch or shift.

Did it met my expectations? I don't know that I had any going into it, but if I did they were for sure met.

What made me go for it? Well I had never been attracted to anyone (man or woman) to the magnitute that I am to her. I knew that she knew that I wanted to see what it was like to be with her after conversations that we had after we had phone sex, and I knew that if she wanted the same thing, she would go for it (she is quite a bit more outgoing then me). I was afraid of rejection so I wouldn;t approach her. I knew that if I didn't pull over and kiss her that night I might never get another chance.

Did it make me question my sexuality? Does my username answer that question? of course it did. I am currently struggling with wanting my friend so badly I can't think of anything else (even when I am with my BF). There is just something about her that gets me every time I look at her. I know its her eyes, there is something to be said for looking in your lovers eyes while you pleasure them....its unforgetable.

I don't know if this helps you at all...I hope it does. I don't regret one second with her, and I never will, (and between you and me, I am hoping for alot more time with her).

:cool:

[rumple4skin]

The first time I had M/M sex was when I was 18 - I was naive and did not see that this guy was setting things up for a sexual encounter. I trusted him and felt he missued that trust. I was confused for a long time after that.

The first time I decided to be intimate with another man was when I was 31. He was an older man that I had chatted with online. He said he wanted to get together. After hemming and hawing over it in my mind I went for it. I was very nervous and excited at the same time. It did not make me question my sexuality becasue I had been questioning my sexuality before then. I knew I was interested in women and men. The idea of getting a blowjob from someone who said they were experienced and loved doing it sounded good to me. I got off 3 times in an hour so I guess I enjoyed it. :bigrin:

[Biboz49]

I had sexual feelings for guys for most of my life but never acted on them until about 4 - 5 years ago (I'm 50 now). In a previous long term relationship she was not at all turned on by me being with another guy. What made me go for it was the fact that I got involved with a woman who was supportive and we fantasized about a 3 some with another guy. It was a major turn on for her to watch me with another guy. So we went for it. We arranged to get together with a guy and I loved it. It was more enjoyable than I ever imagined. Whats funny is the guy was not experienced at all, just like me, and he just didn't get into it. I think he got into more than he expected. But I got a taste, so to speak, and wanted more. If there were any surprises for me it was that I enjoyed it more than I expected.

I've never questioned my sexuality, I've always known what I like and thats all that matters to me. I label myself bi because it fits with everyone elses definition: I am aroused and enjoy sex with men and women.

Hope this helps!

[mrplayfuluk]

I have been touched by the responses already... this question is more than re-telling your first time physically, which is nice hear, but about emotional reactions as well because that is the bit one can never anticipate. More responses would be great, don't be shy!

[innaminka]

For 20 odd years I was gainfully str8 - never looking at another woman - never being more than mildly aroused by female erotica (or porn)
My 1st time with another woman (my age also a bi-virgin) happened without planning.
It just occured through circumstances.
Emotionally - I was confused, but never felt any guilt eithetr for being with another woman, or the fact that it WAS a woman.
I was happily married - in love and still in lust with my husband - 2 kids etc etc.
Initially all I think I thought about was how good it had been - so different to m/f lovemaking. perhaps better.
Was I an emotional wreck? No. Was I wracked with guilt? No. Did I want more? Definitely. There was something about it that was just right.
I have had numerous f/f occurences since (never with that 1st lady) and that side of me has just blossomed - without affecting my family and my marital sex life.

My message to you is look at all the consequences, look at yourself. How will you cope? Are you a tad homophobic.

Only you know deep down whether you want to take this step. Good luck.