From gay to bisexual.

[TheKnaveOfHearts]

Hey everyone. New poster here. I found this site by accident and couldn't be happier that I did.

Just a little bit about myself. About seven years ago, I came out as a bisexual man, only to redefine myself as exclusively homosexual a few months later. I sincerely think that I identified as gay because I folded under the pressure to "choose a side", from gays and straights alike. I also think that always being surrounded by females (female relatives in particular) ever since I was a child hampered my ability to sexualize them. All women became like "sisters" to me, which in turn made me sexualize men exclusively. But just over a week ago, after some serious soul-searching. I accepted my attraction for women once again. In repressing the heterosexual side of myself, I feel like I gave up an integral part of my masculinity. Now I happily identify as bisexual, albeit secretly. My family still thinks I'm gay, and I'm not sure it's wise to tell them I'm bisexual just yet, as I wouldn't want them to get false hope that I'll adopt some sort of Norman Rockwell-esque lifestyle.

Have any of you (men in particular) had a similar experience? Did you identify as gay first before realizing that you were really bisexual? And if you told your family that you were bisexual after first telling them that you were gay, how did they react?

At any rate, I looking forward to speaking to all of you and having some interesting conversations. New friends are always amazing so feel free to message me anytime. I'm especially in dire need of some guy friends, as I literally have, well... none! Talk to you all soon, I hope.

:bipride:

[jem_is_bi]

Well, you may change you mind again about your sexuality, which, like all of us is not a constant. I just had the privilege to see a woman at the gym today that just takes my breath away because of raw sexually desire by me. I have seen her before it is always the same reaction in me. I cannot prevent how she makes me feel even though I have a male partner that she can never match on pure sexual desire. So, give yourself some time to see where you’re really at before you add to the confusion of others about you.

[Georgie_Girl]

This is probably not helpful, but I had a friend who was bi, then gay, then bi, then gay, then bi again. Maybe some people go back and forth?

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Welcome to the family, Hon. Here, just feel free to be YOU and odnt worry whether you are bi or gay, because to us it doesnt matter. All that matters to us is that you have fun making friends here and you are happy just being you. :}
Everybody's Cat ;)

[Doggiestyle]

Hello there The KnaveOfHearts :bigrin:
Youre sounding kinda like me, Whether I am strait or gay depends on what is available or appealing or how I feel at the time!! I have never worried or thought about what my orientation is. My opinion is that if you dwell on what youre sexual orientation all the time, you'll wind up :banghead: all the time.

Oh well so much for my "dear abby" advice :rolleyes:

I will say welcome to this outta site web site and hope you enjoy your time here. This web site is a international thing cause you find people from all over the world here. And not only me but you can find all kinds of advice here.

Well thats just my :2cents: worth.. Your friend, Doggie.......:doggie:.......And more :bipride: to ya

[boca.openminded]

Hey everyone. New poster here. I found this site by accident and couldn't be happier that I did.

Just a little bit about myself. About seven years ago, I came out as a bisexual man, only to redefine myself as exclusively homosexual a few months later. I sincerely think that I identified as gay because I folded under the pressure to "choose a side", from gays and straights alike. I also think that always being surrounded by females (female relatives in particular) ever since I was a child hampered my ability to sexualize them. All women became like "sisters" to me, which in turn made me sexualize men exclusively. But just over a week ago, after some serious soul-searching. I accepted my attraction for women once again. In repressing the heterosexual side of myself, I feel like I gave up an integral part of my masculinity. Now I happily identify as bisexual, albeit secretly. My family still thinks I'm gay, and I'm not sure it's wise to tell them I'm bisexual just yet, as I wouldn't want them to get false hope that I'll adopt some sort of Norman Rockwell-esque lifestyle.

Have any of you (men in particular) had a similar experience? Did you identify as gay first before realizing that you were really bisexual? And if you told your family that you were bisexual after first telling them that you were gay, how did they react?

At any rate, I looking forward to speaking to all of you and having some interesting conversations. New friends are always amazing so feel free to message me anytime. I'm especially in dire need of some guy friends, as I literally have, well... none! Talk to you all soon, I hope.

:bipride:

Welcome to the site / family...

Very interesting... this is the first time I ever heard of someone going from gay to bi... its normally the other way around..

I wish you the best of luck and definitely keep us posted. I'm curious to see where it takes you..

[Lonewolf76]

Hi There!

Welcome to the family! I'm glad you found the website too - It's pretty awesome with some of the best folks you'll ever share things with! My advice - Don't get all wrapped up in titles. Titles will NEVER define us. If you are bisexual - you'll find, as already mentioned, that you may fluctuate from being very attracted to men to being very attracted to women. I am currently in a great relationship with a man - but I have had plenty of hetero relationships as well. So, go with the flow and do whatever makes you happy. As for the family/friends. My experience has shown me that we too often get caught up in worrying about a worse case scenario - that ultimately never developes. My personal philosophy is just to give family and friends the truth. The hard reality is those that love you will accept you for whatever you are and do and those that don't never really cared in the first place. They already accept you as gay - the jump to bisexual is not that great of a leap. Bottom line: Be you, Be safe and be happy. And again - welcome aboard. Hugs. LW

[12voltman59]

Welcome Knave---enjoy the site---and don't worry so much about labels---I say, (sorta like a mantra or bumper sticker from some 'new age' seminar)--but "Just Be!" man---

Have a good time here---just a word of warning--while he seems to be gone--we do have our resident "troll" who haunts the place from time to time--if you get some fracked up email from someone with a funky ass name that just seems totally whacked---you have been slimed by the troll--but don't feel bad---you will join a long list of great people on here that have been "blessed" by his rantings over the ages!! LOL

Once again--welcome dear Knave!!!

[JohniBi]

Lol, If one more gay guy tells me "you're not bi, you're just half way closeted" I swear to god I'll kill him. "I know what I am buddy fuck you." Is usually my response to that.

[TheKnaveOfHearts]

Thanks for all the advice and support, everyone. I already feel like I fit in here, which is rare! :flag1:

[Realist]

I think all of us have probably dealt with waffling back and forth over these issues. I know a couple of times, when I was younger, I'd meet a guy, who I felt provided everything I needed to live happily ever after. Then, I'd meet girl who I'd fall for and think I'd never be with another guy again. Finally, I was in a long term relationship with a guy and his wife and, for a while, I thought I loved them both equally. Later-on, I began to feel closer to her. Anyway, I finally decided that I was hopelessly bi and I might as well accept each relationship as it arises.

[diB4u]

LOL its not about being closseted, for some people its about liking or hating who they are, they may still have the same attraction to the same sexed but feel the need to be with the opposite sex.

I personally am all over the place, but it dont matter much.



I agree with volty just be who you are...if they dont like it oh welll.

But yeah i get that, cause the straight section dont get bisexuals, and the gay section just think we're all repressed but God make bisexuals to be...

:)

[markonetwo34]

I feel a bit lucky right now. I am solidly totally bisexual. Never could I think I was gay, thats for sure. It is a little confusin at times, see my other thread. LOL. I guess my 0.02 would be why box yourself in to being gay or st8? If you can be bisexual you might as well enjoy it. Hmmm. LOL

[DeShawn2]

I'm definitely starting to go through the "waffling" stuff and it's a bitch! haha

It's like having a few additional emotions that I never knew about.

Then, it's not all that much easier when I prefer to have an emotional connection to someone before I want to "get it on" with someone. It makes me feel like in some secret vortex all by myself sometimes. It's so hard to step forward with stuff like that when most people don't want to take things so slowly.

If this is normal, then that's pretty relieving.

[noabody]

I'm new here too, but I like getting my :2cents: in. These people are really great and they've helped me a lot. My kinsey rating is a 2. I have a stronger attraction toward women than men. That said, I haven't held an emotional relationship with a man, beyond friendship or outright sex. I think I might waffle too the first time I fell in love with a guy. One of my gay partners said I'd eventually realize that I was gay not Bi.

I'm passive and femme; in many ways I am trying to emulate women. I've grown out my hair and have a very thin hairless body. I don't think that makes me a lesbian in a mans body, but I don't think it means I'm expressly gay either. It sort of makes me feel attractive and sexy. I can certainly say that I've never been in your shoes but might want to get into your pants ;) . Sorry, I couldn't pass up on the joke.

[TaylorMade]

I believe the founder of this site... Drew, had a similar story, Knave. It's more common than you think.

*Taylor*