How to tell...?

[DogoJosho]

Hey well i like this guy whos been my friend for years, but im not sure if hes bi. Like he sometimes seems to be cause he like holds hands with guys and like kisses them on the cheek and stuff, but idk. One time I told one of my other friends i thought this guy was bi and then one day he came up to me and said "im not but i dont care that you think that", but he has a record of lying.

How can i tell for sure, without having to ask him?

Any help is appreciated

[Beefeater]

You say that you have been friends with this guy for a number of years and that he knows that you have questioned his sexuality. If he's such a good friend, why can't you and him have an honest, non accusatory conversation and talk about it?

[DogoJosho]

its not that simple.... with me i act different when i like someone, and me and him like are friends but like hes not always willing to do something like that. also the only time he admits stuff is when hes with other friends and i know he wouldnt want to tell some other friends if he is.

EDIT: but i have reasons to like him, and if i ask him since i like him, he doesnt know im bi or that i like him, and i get a wierd feeling when i see him, it would just be akward to just ask him.

[eddy10]

A few thoughts of mine are:

If you do NOT ask him ... the answer is forever no. You will never know for sure.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
What are you afraid of? Go for it.

[DogoJosho]

but if i ask him he'll just say no.... hes wierd like that, its happened to me before with him and later i found out he was lying the whole time.

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

So, like, does he know that you know that you think you know but he doesnt know if you know for sure and your afraid to let him know that you know and that you like, well, like him?
Gawd I need some Caffine.....:rolleyes:
Cat

[Lenore]

OMG Cat! That was funny!!

[fredtyg]

If I were in your place I'd try and find some time alone with him. Sit next to him on the couch and, while you're talking, place your hand on his leg and start rubbing his leg. See how he reacts. If he doesn't tell you to stop, get closer to his crotch and see what happens.

If he doesn't react negatively, just tell him you like both guys and girls and that you're attracted to him. If he takes that well, you might have it made and you can take it from there.

[codybear3]

but if i ask him he'll just say no.... hes wierd like that, its happened to me before with him and later i found out he was lying the whole time.

You said yourself in the original post that he has a record for lying... If thats the case, whats the point of asking him about being Bi, or anything else for that matter??? If you can get along with him without really needing to know this, march forward and let things fall where they will... :2cents::paw::paw:

[artsy girl]

Personally.. you can think of all these ways.. to sit down and talk to him..
but really.. if people are not ready to come out of the closet.. sometimes it just takes time.

Let me tell you.. i've confronted a few people on whether they were bi..and honestly.. i really think they were.. but they still insisted they werent'

I always find these people ususally will say no. but not offended by the question.

This guy may not even be ready to admit it to himself.. so i wouldn't push it on him in any way. I really think people figure it out on their own eventually and when he's ready he'll let let you know.
All you can do is let him know that you are bi or gay (don't know your situation) If he knows this.. than you will propbably be the first person he tells.

I had attractions to girls a long time ago.. but i never really realized it was anything.. just figured it was because i was drunk.. or haden't had sex for awhile.. i would have excuses to tell myself and i definitly would of said no to anyone else who asked.

marriedartsygirl

[eddy10]

I did not pick up on the fact that he is a liar. I do not like liars. II think, if I were you, I would seek more honest friends. Of course, I am making this sound cut and dried. I know there is a lot more that keeps you two as friends. But, I get freaked by liars.

[fredtyg]

P
All you can do is let him know that you are bi or gay
marriedartsygirl

That's right, and maybe my suggestion earlier was a bit too aggressive when I suggesting putting your hand on his leg?

Maybe something a bit simpler like just bringing it up in a conversation. For instance, today is the day of the local Pride celebration in my county. If I were in your place I might mention the Pride parade and, somewhere in the conversation, say I have half a mind to join the parade since I'm bi. Now he knows.

Or, if he's the type of friend that comes by your house, maybe have bisexual.com on your computer and make sure he notices. If he says something just say something along the line of, "I really love this site. The people are great and you can really feel at ease being yourself in the forums...".

And maybe it will just take a few beers to let him open up to you, but at least you let him know in a non- threatening manner. The rest is up to him.:bipride:

[inneedindeed]

If he found out you were questioning his sexuality and did not knock your teeth out, then yes, he is.

[DiamondDog]

Some people either have excellent gaydar/bidar and some just don't at all.

I have excellent highly accurate and pretty much flawless bidar/gaydar but it's just something I've always been able to tell about men and women and it's just very easy for me.

Even if you don't have it, if your friend is just being a tease, lying, or playing mind games with you go out and find someone better who isn't like this.

[DogoJosho]

Thanks, to everyone.

but i have a few more things to tell you that i realized yeterday:

he shaves his legs and arms (witch i forgot to mention before) and his excuse is he swims when he doesnt really.

when i see him i get a wierd feeling, but when he looks in my eyes i get like the same feeling but happier. (if that makes any sence)

and the liar thing is only to friends, not to like partners or gfs or whatever.