New member: Me!

[WiThAsPiRiT]

Hi ermm forgive me for sounding out of my depth here, but I have only recently begun considering myself a Bisexual. :rotate:

My name is Sam Archer (male) and im 18 years old, I have for as long as I can remember had fantasies about men, male intercourse, and relationships... However I have read many times of this so called 'Phase' teens go through in which they can have such fantasies... So for about 5 years now I have lived with it, and have even once tried to act on it, trying to get a boy from school in year 9 to go out with me... However because of my indifference I have on many occasions been bullied for appearing to be 'gay', and have gone out with girls purely to try and put an end to these accusations.
(Most of which I was attracted to as-well, call me greedy, but I am attracted to both). :rolleyes:

I have always known (as I am a virgin) that I want my first time to be with a male, this is something I have spent -years- thinking about, and am now confident enough to discuss. I am attracted sexually (meaning having sex with a male appeals greatly to me, beyond fantasy, reaching obsession and desire), and socially to males mostly, but both sexes initially and would like some advice (if possible) of how to 'come out' to friends.

Also a quick question of which I probably should have asked beforehand... is it ok to call myself 'Bisexual' if I am a virgin... I assure you I am totally confident in that I want my first time to be with a male, and in my life have had more male attractions than even female.

Thank you for reading, and please reply :kay:

-Sam :bigrin:

[Long Duck Dong]

Hi ermm forgive me for sounding out of my depth here, but I have only recently begun considering myself a Bisexual. :rotate:

My name is Sam Archer (male) and im 18 years old, I have for as long as I can remember had fantasies about men, male intercourse, and relationships... However I have read many times of this so called 'Phase' teens go through in which they can have such fantasies... So for about 5 years now I have lived with it, and have even once tried to act on it, trying to get a boy from school in year 9 to go out with me... However because of my indifference I have on many occasions been bullied for appearing to be 'gay', and have gone out with girls purely to try and put an end to these accusations.
(Most of which I was attracted to as-well, call me greedy, but I am attracted to both). :rolleyes:

I have always known (as I am a virgin) that I want my first time to be with a male, this is something I have spent -years- thinking about, and am now confident enough to discuss. I am attracted sexually (meaning having sex with a male appeals greatly to me, beyond fantasy, reaching obsession and desire), and socially to males mostly, but both sexes initially and would like some advice (if possible) of how to 'come out' to friends.

Also a quick question of which I probably should have asked beforehand... is it ok to call myself 'Bisexual' if I am a virgin... I assure you I am totally confident in that I want my first time to be with a male, and in my life have had more male attractions than even female.

Thank you for reading, and please reply :kay:

-Sam :bigrin:


welcome to the site...and the mad house...lol


we use the term bi curious for people that have not had sexual contact..... the reason for that is that in some people it can be just fantasy and the real thing is not as good so they never repeat it

but that doesn't mean that you are not bisexual..... every thing you have posted points to the fact that you are indeed bisexual just not enjoying sex, yet.....

its ok to use whatever label works for you....as you open up more sexually, it can change.....
I identify as bisexual but I do enjoy the company of ts / tg and intersex, so infact I am pansexual.....I just use the term bisexual cos people relate to it easier....

[WiThAsPiRiT]

Bi curious works for me, as long as this site can still provide reasource for me to learn more on, maybe ONE DAY ill get the damn confidence to act on my feelings. :tongue:

Thanks for the reply indeed, its greatly appreciated :cowboy:

[Realist]

Hi, Sam, Welcome to the site where I hope you will find answers, support and empathy.

You may run into those who are abrasive and a few trolls, but you'll soon find who you can trust and rely on. There are some magnificent people here of both genders.

As far as coming out to anyone, only you can know what is best for you. Personally, I have never felt others had a right to know my innermost desires, unless I was extremely close to them, or they were potential lovers. Some find it liberating to come out to everyone, others, like myself, have the feeling that no one needs to know I'm bisexual, if they don't have a reason to know. Some are indifferent, some would be very distraught, and some may react violently, if they knew. However, I am always honest with potential lovers. That's just me; no recommendations for anyone else.

[onewhocares]

Hello Sam and WELCOME. I hope that you will use this site to find answers to the questions that you have, and perhaps ask yourself new ones as you learn and become more familiar with other bisexuals. It is a wonderful site filled with many thoughtful and helpful people who are nice to get to know. Hope to say hello if I see you in the chat room.

Belle

[Cherokee_Mountaincat]

Hey Stan. Welcome Home Hon. :}
Cat
Everybodys Feline

[eddy10]

Welcome. You will find many understanding and willing mentors here.

[roy m cox]

welcome to a fun place :bigrin:

[WiThAsPiRiT]

Thank you all for making me feel so welcome :bounce:

Hope to get along with you while I discover more about myself, I've been rather unhappy recently as I just don't seem to fit it anywhere or with anyone.

If anyone has advice of where in the world a guy could find another guy of my age that would be great... Maybe an online resource?

I'm sure ill be able to talk a lot more confidently with you all in due course, im just a slow starter :cutelaugh

Until recently I had no idea what a Bisexual even was :rolleyes: I just assumed my feelings for the same sex meant I could be gay, and yet i liked women. Its so reliving to find there's an in between!

[Realist]

Sam,

You're beginning a journey of discovery. I'm sure you're a little amazed at the prospects ahead, but with forethought, intelligence and a little luck, you will find your place in this world. What lays ahead can be wonderful, or awful; it depends on how you approach the adventure. Try to be patient, smart about what you do, and consider the others' feelings and needs, too.

I'd recommend that you sit down and make a list of your thoughts, dreams and desires. Then figure out what you will have to gain to be happy. If you aren't groping in the dark, maybe it'll help you focus.

This is not my advice, as I stumbled around for years while dealing with guilt, depression and fear, that I'd never be happy.

I learned the above form the happiest guy I ever knew. He sat down, at about 15, and thought long and hard about what he wanted his life to be. I thought it amazing that he was able to do that, at that age.

He did not settle for less than he wanted. I took some time for his dreams to come true, but when an opportunity arose, he was not tethered to someone he was not happy with. He was free to do and love as he wished.

You must do what is in you to do. I hope your journey is a good one filled with magnificent adventures. Think before you act, be safe, and don't do anything that will cause you, or others, pain.

That's the best I can do, the rest is up to you!

[Donkey_burger]

Sam,

I'm nineteen years old. It's not that often do I find someone close to my age here. Don't let that discourage you, though. Nearly everybody here is nice, and a few will reach out and tell you that they are always available to talk if you need to.

DB :flag3:

[WiThAsPiRiT]

They are very wise words Realist, and thank you so much for that reply, that sounds like a wonderful way to help organise and make sense of my rather mixed up thoughts... And I will be most certainly tying out the list idea. :)

I struggle with having little to no friends, after leaving school most seemed to dissipate into idle contacts, before being lost in the world, and now I find myself suffocated by my own mind, no one to speak to who I feel confident with, and no one to give me advice... That's why I feel this website, and the clearly kind and generous community can help me, as you have done already, and I thank you endlessly for being for me as a friends should have been :smilies15

This is something I intend to take slow, allow to sink in and become fully aware of my own desires before I act on them, this way there's little risk of hurting myself or anyone else, and a higher chance of a more successful/pleasurable and happy outcome and experience.

Thanks again ;)

-Sam <3

[csrakate]

This is something I intend to take slow, allow to sink in and become fully aware of my own desires before I act on them, this way there's little risk of hurting myself or anyone else, and a higher chance of a more successful/pleasurable and happy outcome and experience.

Thanks again ;)

-Sam <3

Sam,
First of all, welcome to the site....but as your most recent words reflect, you are already on the road to understanding yourself...just take your time and allow yourself some room to explore, discover and experience things one step at a time. There is no rush....as a matter of fact....rushing would be a big mistake. There are lots of people here who will be willing to talk you through any and all questions....so enjoy your stay and take in all you can!

Kate

[WiThAsPiRiT]

Sam,
First of all, welcome to the site....but as your most recent words reflect, you are already on the road to understanding yourself...just take your time and allow yourself some room to explore, discover and experience things one step at a time. There is no rush....as a matter of fact....rushing would be a big mistake. There are lots of people here who will be willing to talk you through any and all questions....so enjoy your stay and take in all you can!

Kate

Thanks Kate my feeling exactly, taking things slow is the key, I've been mentally taking things slow since I was 13, and have no intention just because I've joined this site to suddenly start rushing ;)

It brings a smile to my face when people care :bigrin: