Age differences

[Realist]

Since my first sexual experience with a much older fellow, I've been with others, of both genders, who were of varied ages from me. The majority of lovers have been close to my age, but there were some who were vastly different.

I've always had the opinion that no matter the age, if there's a emotional and intellectual connection, physical attractions often occur soon after. In my teens and twenties, it was not uncommon for me to be attracted to older folks, as well as those my own age. In my 30s, 40s and 50s, I didn't stray as far from my own age.

When I was 14, my first lover ws a male of 60-something. Then, I was with two boys about my age. Next, at 15, I was with my first lady....the 40 year old married daughter of my first lover. Girls my own age followed. At 21, I had a male lover of about 55. Later, at 22, I had a female lover who was in her 60s. From the age of about 23-on, there were no more of vastly differing ages. Now, I've gone back the other way.............I'm in my late 60s, but have a GF who will soon be 36.

I have never been closer to anyone, ever, emotionally, intellectually, or physically, than with her. It's almost like we're the reincarnation of each other, with opposite genders.

I have gotten some flack from friends about this relationship. They say it'll never work, we can't possibly relate, and there's no way I'll be able to satisfy her...especially sexually. I've actually thought they may be right, in the beginning, but I've never been with anyone who was more understanding, loving and open-minded.

But I know I love her and she loves me....in every way possible. As a bisexual, she understands my interest in both sexes, too. So, I'm confidant that what we have may be a little off the ordinary trail, but it works for us.

I was wondering if there are others here who are in a relationship with someone who's age is much older, or younger than yourself. If so, does it work for you? Personally, I've never been happier, or more at peace with myself, or in my relationship.

[texbama]

i (a guy) have always been attracted to older men as well. my first relationship (at 16) was with a 55 year old man but i felt more connected with him than i ever was with my parents, or friends, its just like we clicked.. to be honest it felt kind of creepy. and still tell this day Ive been with a 45 year old, 62, and a 34, im 18 so for now i still like older men and women

and best of luck to you and your new girl!

[csrakate]

Personally, I've never been happier, or more at peace with myself, or in my relationship.

I don't think it matters what others think or say....you sound very happy and I hope you continue to enjoy the happiness you seem to have right now. My best to you both!

Hugs,
Kate

[Gleekybaby]

Wait a go for you hon!

Dont let age Differences and other peoples comments stand in your way of happiness!
You sound happy! so dont worry about anythign else except your's and your GF's relationship been a good one!

Best to you both!

Gleeky Xoxox

[djones]

Though I may have opinions about some of the other posts in this thread, I will reserve comment. I will share my own experience, perhaps it may help others, perhaps not.

I am in a relationship with a woman 13 years my senior (I was beyond legal age when we met !) . Age was not an issue for me when we began dating, but after a few years in a committed relationship, I realized I went from my youth to her middle age with no time in between.

After 15 years, the difference in our ages has been very trying as we are going through very different things emotionally and physiologically - maturing and changing in ways we can scarcely relate to in each other.

We would be lying if we did not acknowledge the age difference as being a major factor in our current state of dysfunction.

With each person and pairing, there would be different circumstances, but age will be a factor. Some may deal with the differences in better ways, but the differences will be there.

Though I would certainly have no problem dating - and being intimate - with someone out of my age range (of legal age, mind you), I would not seek another relationship - and have counseled others against such - with someone far my senior, or junior.

[bimwmdecatur]

Well I think that age is really in ones head, the one on your shoulders, :). If you feel young and enjoy yourself with your GF and can satisy her, then by all means go and be happy.

I have had several relationships with younger women, one 20 years my junior and one now 30 years my junior and we have had no problems. Of course they did not want children or that would have been a problem.

Ignore what others say about the age difference as long as both you and she are happy and content. Find things that you both have in common and you will do fine.

[bisexualman]

I am glad this thread was posted. I have never considered age as the determining factor in a relationship. I have found men and women younger and older very attractive. As a young man I was always more comfortable with people who were older and shied away from being intimate because I was taught by society it was wrong. When I turned 19 I began exploring and found I really enjoyed intimacy with all ages.
I have discovered I enjoy older women and younger men in general. I have found men my age are more rigid in their thinking and their willingness to explore sexually. They also are less spontaneous and often closeted. The younger men tend to see past age, are more spontaneous and open. I am also very sexual and have lots of energy and stamina. Younger men tend to match my sexuality.
I do not mean to generalize too much. I have met a few men my age that are intellectually and sexually my equal but they are hard to find and are often looking for a long term, monogamous, non-bisexual, intimate relationship; OR they are looking for a one night stand and just move on. There is no way I am leaving my wife or ignoring my sexual orientation; nor am I looking for a long series of one night stands.
I have met a couple of men older than myself, but we have never been able to meet.
Though there have been rough patches, I am currently enjoying a relationship with a 23 year old gay man. We both know it will not be more than really good friends with benefits, but it suits our needs.

[Realist]

Everyone had legitimate comments and I can see each of your viewpoints. Thanks to each of you for your support and being truthful about your feelings.

I know I'm on borrowed time and, at best, I'll have ten years to cherish and love this girl. Realistically speaking, she's made a huge investment in me and I've asked her if she knows that our time is very limited. She says she does.

She is one to take each day as it comes and I've decided to do the same. I am going to do the best I can, for as long as I can, to ensure she does not regret investing her time in me.

[sebax]

well.. i like guys and girls younger than me... dont know why but has been the rule since I was 17.... jejejeej
i like them as young as 20 ... i just seem not to click with anyone older than me...

[roy m cox]

i like guys and girls a bit older than me just not to old up to around 48 0r 58 :bigrin:

tho i will go with some one my age or around 29 to 47:)

[rissababynta]

I've never really looked at age that way. I feel the same as you, is the connection is there it matters little.

When I started dating my husband, I had mixed opinions. I was 17 in my last year of high school and my husband was 23, recently back from four years in the Marines. All of my friends ooed and ahed that I was with an older guy, not just some stupid high school kid. Our parents were sort of peeved and had a lot to say about how it was screwed up. My parents said that a grown man his age shouldn't want to be hanging around a teenager and his mom said that I was "way too young for her Tony"...ugh I hate her. I had a relationship when I was a bit younger with a guy three years older, and my parents bitched about that too. The guy got tired of my parents mouths and decided to call it quits because he didn't want to deal with it. Ended up really good for me because I knew then where his priorities were. My husband, however, had no intentions of going anywhere so, eventually everyone got used to it and now we're all a semi happy family haha.

[FalconAngel]

Interestingly enough, my family has some experience in this particular area.

According to my Father, his Great Grandfather was widowed four times. In a continuing progression of wives that were younger than him and younger than the one before, he outlived all of his wives except the one that was 32 when he died......at age 89.

Not a rich man; just a farmer.

Age, as long as it is above 18, is aught but a number to many people. At your age, if you find a woman half your age that loves you and keeps you both happy, then go for it.

[eddy10]

If it weren't for calendars and mirrors, I would not really know how old I was.

Sorry for the try at humor, just could not resist.

[halobeam]

I don't think age matters, my gf is 9 years older than me but she feels she is in her late 20s... although that makes her younger than me but relationship is not about some #...be happy, enjoy every moment and don't let age be a factor. I do understand that for some this may not work but if it works for you go for it...

once my coworker asked me, if I didn't know my age, how old do I feel I am...I thought that is a good question, how old am I really besides my driver's license telling me my age...heehee:tong:

(for those who are minors I do recommond to stay in their own age group though, not everyone will turn out to be good. There is a reason why we have legal age, it's for minor's safety).

[jamiehue]

Tend to like wealthy older men with vacation homes.

[Lisa (va)]

It still amazes me that folks will find something to critisize about if they want. Talk about age differences is as every 30 years old feel and thinkg the same, and every 50 year old feel and think the same, just not so. Age is not an indication of the maturity of a person, just a calender thing so we can celebrate our birth once a year. Now I pose another question: Just what 'magical' number of years makes the age difference too much, 1, 5, 10, 20 ...?

Lisa

hugs n kisses

[mikey3000]

Hmmm. Lets see. I'm all over the road on this one. I have a guy who is 23 years younger than me who is almost stalking me, and he is totally hands off cause he is only 17 (but otherwise an awesome kid). I've also been with a guy 28 years older than me who was just amazing. So really, it's hard to say. As for a partner, I'd want someone close to my age.

[tenni]

"Now I pose another question: Just what 'magical' number of years makes the age difference too much, 1, 5, 10, 20 ...?"

I suspect that it depends upon the time period that the relationship starts and ends. Ten years seems about correct if it is a life long relationship but of course things vary. I think that the argument about age is only a number only works up to a certain point in a person's life. A couple starting when one is say 25 and 45 might work for a few years even a couple of decades. However, when one is 75 and the other is 55 the chances of the relationship having changed to caregiver/patient increases. Of course, injury may happen to anyone at any age and it might be reversed with the 75 year old caregiving the 55 year old...lol There is a biological change that probably increases pressure on the couple as time moves on though: physically and psychologically. There are always exceptions though and if it makes you both happy then it is no one else's business.

[the sacred night]

I slept with a guy 12 years older than me once, and it was a huge mistake, but that's not because of his age, just because he was a dickface. I've been attracted to people of both sexes who were much older than me, but I've never actually had a relationship with any of them, so I can't say what it would be like. I do know I'd be afraid they were just getting with me because I'm young, but if they were good about showing me they sincerely cared for me, I could get past that. I also know that it could be a challenge to relate to one another since we would be in such different places in our lives, however, I have always had better conversations with older people than with those my age, so one never knows.

[Otto55]

At the age of 17 I had 11 absolutely crazy months with a 44 year old man, then at the age of 20 I had 5 terrific days with a 45 year old man, and then in quick succsession I had a one-night-stand with a 37 year old man. After that I met my husband who is also ten years older than I am. So that`s not very much but I always prefered the experienced lover next to young fellows. I learned so much from them for which I am very grateful to this day!

[FalconAngel]

There once was an old timer in his 80's; A widower.

He found love with a 25 year old woman and they decided to get married and his friends got together to talk to him about it.

So they tried to talk him out of it and one friend said "Aren't you concerned about death during the honeymoon?"
He looked at his friend and said "I did think about it, but I figure if she dies, she dies".

[clovermoon]

If you mentally and emotionally match, who care about age. I see this just as judgemental as race, religion, sexuality, and etc.