Yes - ANOTHER FWB/Fidelity post - but PLEASE vote in the poll!

[RobUK]

Hey y'all!

I know this subject has been discussed ad nauseam, but many people never post, whilst others post so vociferously and again and again and again. This really damages the value of the thread as a good indicator of the general consensus, as such posting practices distorts the apparent general opinion.

So, I've created a poll on the subject. As everyone can only once, no-one can make their opinions seem more popular, and those who don't post because they fell intimidated (that they'll get some angry responses, or whatever) can still influence the response. Just vote in the poll as this is completely anonymous.

I want, once and for all, to ask people's view on people already in relationships, having FWB (Friends with Benefits). I'm asking 4 questions:

1 - If you're already in a LTR (Long-Term Relationship) and have (an) FWB(s).

2 - If you are in a LTR and DON'T have (an) FWB(s).

3 - If you ARE NOT in an LTR, but IF YOU WERE, would have to have (an) FWB(s).

4 - If you ARE NOT in an LTR, but IF YOU WERE, would NOT have (an) FWB(s).

Thanks for your time in voting in this poll - I really am interested in the general consensus here.

Rob
:bigrin:

PS - I'm not expecting anywhere near this number of replies (most of these accounts probably aren't active anymore), but the members list shows 95,299 members - SO VOTE PEOPLE!

[MarieDelta]

Ok so I dont fit anywhere on your poll

I have several LTRs and a one person I am dating.

So...

[darkeyes]

Awwww trollop.. u always top of ne poll a mine yummie person... muah!!!:bigrin:

[fredtyg]

Ok so I dont fit anywhere on your poll

I have several LTRs and a one person I am dating.

So...

Same here. I'm married (25+ years) and don't have a FWB but would LOVE to have one and am always looking.

[MarieDelta]

I should clarify that I feel that "friends with bennefits (FWB)" is a relationship that involves sex but no emotion.

I do dearly love my lovers. Each in their own seperate way.

[darkeyes]

I should clarify that I feel that "friends with bennefits (FWB)" is a relationship that involves sex but no emotion.

I do dearly love my lovers. Each in their own seperate way.

Having a friend with benefits isnt something I know much about.. my life has never involved such a thing particularly.. a few times I have had sex with a friend, but never more than a couple of times.. so I don't think that counts. They were much more than someone I could pop along and see if I needed a quick fuck... but each occasion involved its own share of emotion, even love, for each of them I did and do love quite intensely, as I do all of my closest friends.. so I can't undestand why FWB involves merely sex but no emotion.. that's beyond me Marie.. if one is a friend do we not love them as such, and if we fuck.. is that not in its way an act of love?

Even those with whom I have shared but a few hours dalliance, the act of sex invariably involved for a brief instant, a feeling of love.. a lot of lust of course, but love too... it may have been a flicker or as a candle burning brightest before being extinguished, but for those I shared those experiences with, it was there.. I say invariably because there were instances where the act of making love was hardly awe inspiring.. but that's a different kettle of fish altogether..

Even if we dismiss that brief instant as being love, the act making love, or fucking if you prefer, involves much emotion, for without it I doubt the act would be worth doing.. fucking, sex or making love is more than just orgasm.. it is a whole experience, and within that entire experience there is always much emotion.. bad sex may mean different emotions... but emotion there will be..

[MarieDelta]

Having a friend with benefits isnt something I know much about.. my life has never involved such a thing particularly.. a few times I have had sex with a friend, but never more than a couple of times.. so I don't think that counts. They were much more than someone I could pop along and see if I needed a quick fuck... but each occasion involved its own share of emotion, even love, for each of them I did and do love quite intensely, as I do all of my closest friends.. so I can't undestand why FWB involves merely sex but no emotion.. that's beyond me Marie.. if one is a friend do we not love them as such, and if we fuck.. is that not in its way an act of love?

Even those with whom I have shared but a few hours dalliance, the act of sex invariably involved for a brief instant, a feeling of love.. a lot of lust of course, but love too... it may have been a flicker or as a candle burning brightest before being extinguished, but for those I shared those experiences with, it was there.. I say invariably because there were instances where the act of making love was hardly awe inspiring.. but that's a different kettle of fish altogether..

Even if we dismiss that brief instant as being love, the act making love, or fucking if you prefer, involves much emotion, for without it I doubt the act would be worth doing.. fucking, sex or making love is more than just orgasm.. it is a whole experience, and within that entire experience there is always much emotion.. bad sex may mean different emotions... but emotion there will be..

That is my point exactly.

However, as I understand it, "friends with bennefit"(AKA "fuck buddy') is exclusive of emotion. I am glad to be proven wrong on this, but that is my current understanding.

[ErosUrge]

Well, I will probably invite a lot of descent with my comments, but feel I must voice it nonetheless.
I am not making my comments here to challenge anyone who is involved with someone and has a wonderful situation where they have chosen to be committed without an FWB. To them I give credit and am also glad that they are content.
But they don't speak for all of us. Call it selfish or self-centered on my part, but I know it is possible for two to be in love with one another and devoted emotionally to one another and yet have a FWB situation together. It certainly is not easy and is incredibly challenging. If two have chosen to be together with this kind of arrangement and are truly content and can maintain an ongoing relationship that endures, then it should be taken into account that it is something that can work.
Also, I agree for the most part, that generally sex with someone is usually best with someone you have those special feelings for; in fact, it is superb and beautiful. But to say that one cannot enjoy and be fulfilled sexually without emotions or feelings for a person I believe is not true. Surely to be with someone you care for is much more fulfilling but there is an intensity that is real when having sex without emotional attachment. The very wonder and splendor of sensuality and lust can be very rewarding without the emotional investment; it's just of an entire other category. I'm not here to try to sway anyone who prefers to experience that which they have with someone they care for and to stay put there without having experiences outside the domain of that relationship; that's not my place. But I don't feel that it is anyone's place to dictate to others that sex without love and emotional attachment is void and empty. It certainly can be and there certainly are moments when that does happen, but not always and more often than not, it doesn't happen that way. It only depends on the moment and who is involved.
To those of you who are content without FWB, much credit to you....
I simply wanted to comment that this is not the only way that is fulfilling and that there others of us are different. It's not the popular way to be sure and I certainly don't prescribe to this way of life just to be different for the sake of being different. It is the way it is for some.....

[citystyleguy]

...a couple of my ltr's have overlapped with a fwb; each has their own take on the subject of course, but for me, a fwb, i.e. fuck buddy, as he is a friend there is mostly definitely emotion attached.

if not, then he would have been nothing than a quick lay between doing one thing, and doing another; a one-nighter after the club; a wham, bam, thank you dude, now get the hell out of my bed, i gotta change the sheets!

[terri]

it was at the suggestion of my wife that i find a playmate, someone , as she puts it "to do the heavy lifting" . she understands that her desire and my desire for sex is quite different. she is all for me finding a' friend with benifits", a person who would add a to new chapter in our lives.

[Vikkster230]

You don't have the true category I personally fit into... In a LTR and WANT to have a fwb... lol :tong: