[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I remember the day when I got to see two grown-up men doing it to each other. A friend and I had decided we wanted to do it and, as usual, went to the closest “hideout” to where we were at that moment. We get there, rush inside but we heard voices - somebody else was here already! But who? I wanted to leave and go to another hideout but my friend’s curiosity got the best of him as he said, “Let’s go see who’s here!” Shit... we were gonna get in trouble but I went with him and we creeped towards the voices. Grown up voices. Doing the nasty voices. We got to the room where the voices were coming from and peeked into it to see two grownups, half naked and on the floor sucking each other’s dicks. And they were huge! Longest and fattest grown up dicks I’d ever seen and I don’t know about my friend but my own dick got instantly hard taking in the sight. I still wanted to leave and more so since I didn’t recognize either of the two men... but, no - my friend wanted to watch and I didn’t feel right leaving him there by himself. It made my knees weak to watch both dicks being made to disappear into both men’s mouths; loud slurping noises, lots of moaning going on as they lay side by side to suck each other - and I made a note of this “new” way to do it; sometimes being on the top or bottom and sucking dick could get uncomfortable. Who knew it could be done like that, too? [/SIZE][/FONT]
[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]I am happy with the decision I made about things M2M. A guy may never get to fuck me or be fucked by me... but getting his dick sucked is pretty much a guaranteed thing and I will finish the job and with the only "condition" that you suck my dick as well... because that shit feels damned good, too. It was the first thing I learned about this, the first thing I really fell in love with - but eating pussy will forever be the thing I love more than sucking cock.[/FONT] [FONT=verdana]I have and carry no shame to be a cock sucker. I have zero qualms about wanting to spend all day sucking a guy's dick over doing any fucking because, at least for me, sucking cock is much more intimate than fucking is because, if you wanna get all spiritual about it, when I swallow his cum, I am taking and consuming him in a most intimate way; some say when you take a man's cum and consume it, you're consuming the essence of the man and partaking of his manliness, power and strength. And I guess that's one way to look at it and I can't really say if this is what's really going on. What I do know is that I've always loved sucking cock and swallowing sperm more than being fucked and more than being the one doing the fucking. I've had fifty-five years to hone my skill, to indulge in the "nasty" pleasure it provides and if it's the only thing I wind up doing with men for the rest of my life, I'm more than good with it. But make no mistake. I'm not a submissive cock sucker; I don't worship dick and I don't play or tease the dick I'm gonna suck. I admit that I'm not sucking your dick to make you happy and as a prime reason for sucking dick - I'm a very selfish cock sucker and have paid enough dues to be... bitchy? about it and to the point where if you're not gonna suck and finish me, I have no use for you. I don't play macho cock sucking games and you can't impose your will on me. My "job" is to have fun sucking your cock until you bust your nuts wide open. And if you do it sooner, I'm good with that and if you do it later, well, I've learned to be both patient and persistent and chances are good you're gonna want to stop before I will. Because, for me, to be any other way doesn't make sense and defeats the reason why I suck cock. I understand that some guys aren't of a mind to make me happy so that means it's on me to make myself happy... and albeit at your expense. And, if by chance, you are of a mind that I didn't suck your dick to your satisfaction, well, okay... but I still got to suck your dick, didn't I? And that what matters the most to me. It's not romantic: It's sexual. I don't have to be into you - I just gotta like you enough to want to subject you to my cock sucking lust and if I never see you again, that's okay - I still got to suck your cock and eat your sperm, didn't I? And it's easy to get me to suck your dick: Just be clean and healthy, be of legal age to get your dick sucked by a guy and the one thing a lot of guys can't pass - don't be my idea of an asshole and, believe me, I've seen enough assholes in my life to know one when I see one so don't even try to run some bullshit at me or try telling me what you think I wanna hear - it's not gonna work. Ever. Not submissive. Probably the most selfish cock sucker you'd ever meet. Been around the block too many times to fall for the dumb shit. And it's not about you - it's about my pleasure and if you walk away happy, then I am... but if you don't, I'm still happy... because you did get your dick sucked and your balls emptied.[/FONT][/SIZE]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The first was I'm not a submissive cock sucker but I am a selfish one and by that I mean that I don't suck cock to make the guy attached to it happy - I do it because it gives me an extreme amount of pleasure and if it also pleases him, that works. When I first realized this about myself, I thought that I was going about this the wrong way since I'd been hearing a lot of men and women talk so much about sucking dick to make the guy happy - and even if doing the sucking didn't make them happy. And I wasn't hearing any of that. I remember one guy who had asked me, "Don't you want to suck my cock and make me happy?" and I said, "Nope - I want to suck your cock because it makes [B]me[/B] happy." While I thought that he thought that I was just gonna be a means to his end, he wasn't happy to learn that he was a means to my end and wasn't going to blow him just to make him a happy camper. For the longest time, this "attitude" bothered me... until I realized that it didn't make any damned sense for it to bother me because it's really about me and what I want to do and why I want to do it... and if the other guy doesn't agree with any of this, well, he can turn me down and go on about his business because another guy will eventually come along who will be very happy about me sucking his dick dry - and because it makes me very, very happy. I do it the way I feel like doing it. Fast, slow, whatever way pops into my head... and I really don't care how he wants me to do it. Oh, I do listen when they say faster, harder, slow down, deeper... and sometimes I oblige them and sometimes I hit them with a reality I learned: When I'm sucking your dick, you're not in control of anything - I am. You're at my mercy and not the other way around. The good part for you is that I want you to cum and if you do it sooner, I'm really good with it and I'm still very damned selfish because i want and need your cum in my mouth. If I spit it out because it tastes shitty - and sometimes it does - that's just the way it is... but you're gonna cum in my mouth. I don't want it on my face or anywhere other than in my mouth because it completes my pleasure and thrills me to no end to feel a dick pumping away in my mouth. I'm not one of those cock suckers who will tell a guy I don't want my dick sucked; again, if you're not gonna suck my dick and expecting me to settle for just sucking yours, well, you're not gonna get your dick sucked and I don't give a fuck how pissed off you get about it. Why should you have all of the fun? I love a guy who loves to suck dick... but I also love a guy who wants his dick sucked and finished, too. Guys who don't want or like their dick sucked? I understand it... and I don't... but I respect their choice and decision in this even though it doesn't make me happy to have a guy suck me off... and his dick is off-limits to me. Because if I'm nothing else, I am a cock sucker first and foremost. If there is something two guys can do together that I haven't done, it's probably because I didn't want to do it... and there aren't many things I haven't done or just won't do. But I will suck your dick and make you cum... and if you're not weird about it, I'd love for you to suck my dick and I also learned that I don't care if you're "good" at it or "bad" because I learned to appreciate the fact that someone would want to suck my dick in the first place - because they didn't have to.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Being a cock sucker changed a lot of things. I will not go down on a guy who won't or doesn't suck dick and while this might sound petty, it really isn't because I think I've paid enough dues over my lifetime to take this stance. I've long since been of a mind that if a guy doesn't learn anything about having sex with another guy, he should learn and master the art of sucking dick and learn to acquire the taste. Not just because most guys love having their dick sucked but it's still the easiest thing two guys can do. Sometimes, there just isn't time to do all of it but, again, it usually doesn't take long to suck a guy off and provided that he didn't jerk off before the fact. In making this decision, I had to get rid of a prejudice that I had - uncut dicks. Just ugly and nasty looking with all that extra skin. Makes my skin crawl and I avoided sucking them like the plague even as I understood that I left a lot of dicks unsucked over a prejudice that I was having a hard time getting rid of, that and my inability to blow a guy who wasn't cut made me a liar to say there wasn't a dick I couldn't suck and making an "exception" that really didn't make sense. The first time I sucked an uncut dick? I was furious with myself for being so eager to get into it with the guy that I didn't ask the "usual" question of whether he was cut or not - and he didn't mention it either. So when he arrived and he pulled his dick out of me, man, I was upset like you wouldn't believe and I didn't want it in my mouth... but I'd given my word that I would suck him off and going back on my word, well, that's never to be done. So I remembered what a woman told me about sucking an uncut dick - just peel the foreskin back like he's a banana, expose the head, and suck him until he begs for his mama to save him. And that's what I did... and kicking myself in the ass the whole time to think about the many uncut dicks I left unsucked to date. And it was glorious making him squirm and cuss and fuck into my mouth and, okay, shit - dealing with that extra skin wasn't as bad as I'd always though it would be. After he sucked me off and went on about his business, I sat and thought about this and realized that my journey as a sucker of cock had now come full circle; there was no long a dick I wouldn't suck but I still had to admit that looking at them was still something that made my skin crawl - and the reality now said that I didn't have to look at it to suck it. Then there was something else I had to accept about myself...[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]The decision was "easy" to make because I was learning that if a guy didn't remember anything else about you, it would be how good you sucked his dick; being a good cock sucker was prized over having a nice, fuckable ass (but it didn't hurt your rep if you were a good fuck). I actually overheard two guys talking about me and how good I could suck dick and, at first, I was bothered to overhear this and surprised they were even talking about me like that but, then again, they didn't know I was close enough to overhear them. They both agreed that if they couldn't say anything else about me, I could suck a mean dick but they also agreed that fucking me wasn't bad either. It kinda hurt for a moment to hear them say that they'd rather have me suck them off but then I realized that they weren't really saying that I was a lousy lay - they were saying I was a better cock sucker and that meant a lot to me since, again, I had made it a life purpose to be as good at it as I could be. Guys with the really big dicks would be impressed that I could deep throat them without gagging, that I could hold them deep for a long time and even let them fuck my mouth without gagging or protesting. Sometimes, yeah, I hated the way they'd use my mouth, hated them calling me names like baby and bitch and I learned not to tolerate that shit but even this... disrespect was part of the deal because for a lot of guys, you're just a means to an end and teaching me everything women hated about sucking cock. Every so often, I'd run into a guy who didn't want his dick sucked... and I'd wonder what the hell was wrong with him and, most of the time, it was because they'd cum too fast and get taken out of the game. That used to make me angry to have a guy lose his load and as soon as thirty seconds after I started sucking him... but I learned that it happens, that he really has no control (or little control) over it and my ego loved it when that happened and especially when the other guy didn't think it would.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]For me, everything was a learning experience and the more dicks I sucked, the more I learned that any guy can get their dick hard and fuck you with it... but being able to suck dick really good and even make guys cum when they weren't ready to - or didn't think they would or could - was the real skill to be learned and mastered... and I was determined to be as good at it as I could. It was nice to be told by a guy that he enjoyed fucking me, that he liked the way his dick felt in my ass... but it was a much better feeling to be told that I suck cock better than the girls the guy knew of - high praise, indeed. I never let such sentiment go to my head; I'd seen guys fall into this trap and get their feelings badly hurt to be told that they weren't shit when it came to sucking a dick and it was clear that should a guy decide you were a lousy cock sucker, the word would spread quickly that you should be avoided at all costs. That guys came looking for me so I could suck them off spoke volumes to me; at least I didn't have a bad rep due to my ability to suck a dick and, really, if any guy I've ever blown had something bad to say, I never found out about it. Sure, some guys would school me on the best way to blow them and I was okay with that; while one can literally suck any dick, what works on one guy might not work on the next guy. One interesting result was that I learned a lot of detail about sucking a dick and storing a lot of information about every time I got it right or "wrong" - then being able to apply all that I'd learned about how to get a guy to cum in my mouth. Lots of successes... and some failures as well... but it's still part of the deal; you really can't make every guy happy sucking his dick but, by and large, if you could get him to cum, well, he'd overlook whatever bad spots cropped up as you worked - and sometimes worked hard - to get him to cum. And I also learned that if he didn't cum, it wasn't my fault or anything I did incorrectly - he just couldn't and there were many, many reasons for that. So, yeah, I also had to learn not to get bent out of shape about that... because I did spend some time sucking dick.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]What I had to accept was that before I was made to feel shitty and dirty, I did have fun sucking that dick even if I learned to not like the guy attached to it so much. So sucking dick became my "main" thing to do, not just for the sheer pleasure it gave me but even in the early days of my journey, I learned a mantra of sorts: It could be done practically anywhere, didn't take a whole lot of time, and I didn't have to spend a lot of time making sure my ass was clean enough to be fucked. It was easy to figure out that if another guy didn't want to do anything else, he'd want his dick sucked and his balls emptied. I was learning - and just like a lot of guys were learning - that girls were really funny about having sex and even funnier about sucking dick. True enough, a lot of them would rather suck dick and swallow than to risk getting pregnant or risk the wrath of their parents should it be discovered that they were sexually active; some girls preferred to be fucked in the ass but, really, getting a girl to agree to have sex was tough... but guys were more than willing to let another guy suck their dick and more so when, generally speaking, guys were more afraid of fucking/being fucked because as every knows, it really hurts going it. I'd rather suck dick than to fuck/be fucked by a guy. And while this decision might sound like an easy one, it really wasn't because, at least in the beginning, I really liked being fucked just as much as I liked watching my boner squeezing into a guy's butt or, if I couldn't get it in, just being able to stick my dick between his butt cheeks and hump him until I made a sticky mess in his crack. I had, early on, realized that there were a lot of times I'd get fucked - good or bad - and, honestly? I really didn't feel like it... but I had felt like sucking dick more than anything else. Even today, I often catch myself looking at guys and wondering what it would be like to blow them more than I think about what it would be like to have them in my ass.[/SIZE][/FONT]
[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]As you've seen, I've had an incredible journey as a bisexual and I've learned so much about people and sex and, perhaps, a bit more than the average person. Like everyone, I've had my ups and downs with this, from guileless bliss to those shitty moments that left me feeling used and dirty, making me second- and third-guess my decision to give up my body to a guy who really didn't have my pleasure in mind. I learned to chalk it all up to lessons learned, learned to not let the setbacks steal the joy of sex I'd discovered - just one of many decisions I've had to make over the fifty-five years I've been actively bisexual. One of the biggest one was in the form of a question: Given a choice, which thing with a guy would you rather do? Please note that I didn't use the word, "prefer;" I've come to have a dislike for it since another thing that I learned was that which I might prefer doesn't always match the reality of things and you don't always get what you want and in the way you want it. So I had to think about the answer to that question, rifle through my mind and look at every experience I could remember - both good and bad - and let my instincts guide me... and I realized that if I could only do one thing with a guy, it would be to suck his dick. But why? It was the first thing I learned about sex with males. It was my "holy shit this is good" moment that landed on me the instant that man's dick slipped between my parted lips. I was seriously hooked on it, found the taste of semen and sperm to my liking and as I honed my ability I discovered how having a guy's dick in my mouth could turn the toughest guy into one who'd lose his mind as his sperm started pumping into my mouth. Being fucked was... nice. Exciting. Nasty good fun but the intimacy of it was lost on me because I didn't know it was supposed to be intimate and, well, it didn't move me like having a hard dick in my mouth did. Being fucked was just part of the deal... but being able to wrap my mouth around a guy's prick and make him cum? Beyond priceless... and even in those moments where, after the fact, I felt shitty and very unclean.[/SIZE][/FONT]
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