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[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]You didn't give a shit about the size of the other guy's dick; all you cared about was being able to get it. If it was big - or too big - you just dealt with it the best way you could and the same if his dick was small in any way: It just didn't matter.

You didn't care if he looked like he could be on the cover of some magazine or not; all you cared about was he wanted to have sex with you in some way. Now, admittedly, I had a thing about uncut dicks - I "hated" them; they were ugly and weird looking and I would never put one in my mouth... but I'd take it in the ass without giving it a second thought. I didn't suck an uncut dick until I was 50 and, how about that - it wasn't bad even though it was still ugly.

Just me.

You didn't care if the guy was white, Black, Hispanic or Oriental. He wanted to do it, you wanted to do it, so you did it - plain, simple, and right on-point and if you had time, you did it again. You didn't care if the guy was, say, five years younger or older than you... or way older, if you catch my drift. If a guy was new to this, you didn't turn him down because the only way to get experience in doing something is to do it.

And you really didn't care so much if the guy "wasn't good" at something because the bottom line was you got to have sex with another guy. Did he bust a nut before you were ready for him to? Bummer... but it happens and if you had time for him to recharge, you just did it again. Wait... he's not busting a nut? Bigger bummer and if you had the time, you kept going until he either busted or proved there was no way it was gonna happen. A big deal but not really.

Couldn't get his dick in your ass? Not a problem - just get it in the neighborhood and hump me until you shot your load. He - or you - are one of those guys who mysteriously get soft while trying to get it in or when putting on a condom? Bummer... but you could still work around that and, importantly, not moan and groan so much about it because you learned that shit just happens and especially when you didn't want it to.

You took whatever dick you could get and made the best of it and you could be assured that if you couldn't find a guy, some guy would find you and make you an offer and one you probably wouldn't say no to unless your gut feelings told you to say no.

The risks? They were what they were and true enough, some guys ran right into them while many, including myself, never did. But you took and accepted them because you wanted some dick.

I really miss the good old days...[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Now, on the real, if you had a horny brother or cousin, it didn't get any better than that. No one would think twice about you hanging out with them so no one - read this as adults and other non-believers - wouldn't wonder what the two of you were doing when you hung out. Probably getting into some kind of trouble... but not what I'd call the usual trouble.

Let alone what you were doing when you're supposed to be sleeping... or what went on when the parents would leave y'all alone to do parent things. I don't know about the rest of you guys but we'd take or steal every moment we could to get our dicks hard and make them soft again even if it meant risking getting caught.

It was worth it. But, obviously, there was an advantage of being young and doing these things; you get older and discover this and things are just different. You're worried about your reputation - what if somebody found out that you did it with your best friend because his girlfriend and yours wasn't giving up the pussy? Oh my god!

You eventually get into a groove of sorts; you know what you like and don't like so much so it makes sense to go for just the thing you liked... while understanding that in order to get it, ya might have to do something you weren't fond of. And a lot of guys would decide that doing nothing was a better option... but bitch and moan about not being able to get any dick when the truth was they weren't willing to take the dick and in whatever way it was being presented.

Even when I ran into this change in things, man, did I fervently wish the good old days could happen again. I'd run into guys who wanted me to suck their dick then fuck me... but they wouldn't suck me or let me fuck them - what kind of insanity is this? Lots of learning experiences followed and you did learn to pick and choose carefully... but if you could do it with a guy, you still did it and the only reasons why you didn't was time and not having a place to do it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I turned 64 last Monday and some of my blogs have been about the good old days growing up with bisexuality and, yeah, I miss the ease of being able to get some dick. Back then, you either wanted to do it or you didn't; you actually were face-to-face with a guy and being in a position to make a decision right then and there.

It wasn't even a thing of what one wanted to do; wasn't a thing about being a top or a bottom. You sucked dick, got sucked, fucked and got fucked and if you weren't down for it all, well, you were just too chicken and square to be bothered with - come back after your balls dropped or grew then ask me if I wanna do it with you, okay?

Sure, at some point, you knew what guys were good at certain things. If you loved getting your dick sucked, you knew who to see about that; if you loved being fucked, you knew exactly what guy and his dick would get the job done. Loved sucking dick? That meant everyone was fair game because there wasn't a single guy I knew that didn't like getting his dick sucked.

And, oh, yeah, you were a cock sucker by default; [B]everybody[/B] sucked dick because sometimes, that's all you had time for. Even the guys who weren't real fans of sucking dick would suck you off... because that's just the way it was and, yeah, you appreciated it a lot more than, I think, guys do today.

Yep... there was always that one guy you didn't like doing it with for some reason... but you never turned down a chance to do it and, again, if you did turn it down, it was because you didn't have time to... but if you could, you'd squeeze in a blow job.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I just refused to be ashamed of being human. I'm not and shouldn't be ashamed about how I learned about sex and just because society says I should be ashamed of it. I also think that it's important for us to share our stories about how we became the men that we are because we can all learn something and the more we can see other men in this, the easier it becomes to understand ourselves and no matter how we got onto the path we're on.

It just is - or was - what it is... or was... and I'm the guy who'll tell you how it was for me and even those I came into contact with over all these decades. Was it always fun? No, not even close; I've had more than my fair share of bad experiences but I never dwell on them - I've learned from them. Hell, even getting busted being dick-deep in my brother's ass taught me something other than don't get caught - duh. My mom could have kicked my ass something fierce... but she didn't... and I always wondered why... then I figured it out:

Just because you're not supposed to do it doesn't mean that it never happens and that includes the broader picture of having sex with other guys, period. None of what I've done in my life makes me a pervert or anything like that - it just proves that I'm human... and I have an understanding that most people don't want to understand. All the shit I've done with guys is shit I [B]wanted and needed to do -[/B] and even being aware of the consequences of my actions.

But it's different when you grow up with this and as opposed to discovering it when you're older and supposed to know better than to lie down with another man and have sex with him... and I'm the very bi guy who calls bullshit on that kind of thinking... because it is bullshit. I proved to myself that it is and, yeah, in spectacular fashion you could say. Having an incestuous beginning? Just human nature and no matter what we've been taught about it and you know it's bullshit when or if you were leery about dicking down your sister or female cousin and she tells you, "As long as you don't get me pregnant, there won't be a problem. Now... give up the dick and make me cum..."

Sordid? Immoral? Sure... if you really believe all that shit you've been told... and it doesn't ever change the fact that it happens. It's just how we learn some shit and, sure, ya might get older, look back at those times and feel some kind of way about it... but it's a sure bet that in those moments - and if you had them - it sounded like a good idea at the time and, for the most part, it turned out to be a great idea.

And feeling ashamed of whatever you've done and over however you got started, at the end of the day, just doesn't make any sense. Most guys wouldn't admit to doing what I've done but, yeah, I did it, loved doing it, reveled in it beyond belief... but I also learned why they tell us to never have sex with other men - because you can't get another guy pregnant and it's been laid down that our job as men is to get women pregnant and any sex that doesn't go along with this isn't supposed to be fun or even done.

It's bullshit. I know it. Many of you know it, too. I'm just not ashamed to speak on it. Someone here asked me if my brother was still alive, would I still have sex with him... and my answer was sure, I would, you know, if he wanted to. Why? Because we can and, yeah, we did many times before his untimely death. Get all hot, bothered and sweaty with a male cousin? Sure, why not? Give a blow job to someone you don't really know a whole lot about? Again, sure, why not? If you didn't know them before the fact, you're gonna learn something about them after the fact, huh?

In any of this, the lesson to be learned is that a life lived in fear isn't worth living... and it saddens me to see how man men are fearful in this. The risks are real but they can be, at best, minimized by being smarter and, most of the time, not overthinking shit. In my crazy younger days, was I afraid of anything? Yes... and not so much; I wasn't going to worry about what other people thought of me about doing something that, in truth, they didn't know I was doing... and because they didn't need to know. I got to the point that even if someone ratted me out, eh, it didn't matter because, forever and ever, you cannot change what you've already done, can you?

I keep this shit real... because nothing else makes sense and it doesn't help other guys one bit to sugar-coat any of this.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]If there's something sexual that can be done that I haven't done, it's probably because I didn't want to do it... and there ain't that many taboos that I haven't totally obliterated in my life to date and, might I say, shamelessly so; I understand this sex thing for what it really is and not the way it's supposed to be. I have my limits; there are things I'd never do... but there ain't many of them.

I discovered sex... and fell all into it. Anyone, any place, any time and I mean that literally - because that's the way it all went down from having my brother as a lover to learning how to eat pussy from my older sister. Other relatives - more cousins than I can shake a stick with - friends, quite a few adults; it all combined to shape me into who I am today and is directly responsible for my understanding of what it means - and what it takes - to be happily bisexual... and then I come here and tell y'all about my journey and experiences and the crazy, risky shit I'd do just because that sex thing was too good to just walk away from and if I never learned anything about this, it's that everyone is fair game... until they prove that they aren't.

Hell, I'm the guy who gave his father a blow job because he pissed me off. Insane? Yeah... even I wince in "pain" when I think about that but this, too, is what it was. I did it, kinda wish I hadn't, can't change shit about it so I accept my actions and keep it moving.

I see guys struggling with this. I see guys expressing degrees of shame over how they got started and, well, um, if you think you have some shit to be ashamed of, look at my early days as I write about them - then think about the fact that I feel little or no shame over any of it.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I don't kid or bullshit myself about my bisexuality; I know how I got to this place and I know what I've done over the half-century of being sexually and bisexually active. It's never been a thing of ideal situations, being with the perfect guy or even sitting on the bench out of fear or paranoia over what could go wrong.

When I tell folks that, as a bisexual man, I've seen and done some shit, it's not an exaggeration on my part and as some of you have read here. And when I write something here, it's not with the intention of turning you on - it's to share this aspect of my life and with as many "juicy details" as I can remember - this being older just sucks and not in a good way.

Then again, I come from a time where getting some dick was a lot easier than it is today and probably because we didn't worry about the stuff that plagues some men today. Could we get outed or busted? Yep... just a risk like any other. Did we worry about catching something nasty? Sure we did - HIV/AIDS hadn't made an appearance and even after it did, honestly, not a lot of guys worried about it until, sadly, they had to. In a relationship with a woman who didn't believe in that shit? A problem... but one "easily" dealt with and with some worrying involved but not as much as there is today.

Got your introduction in socially and morally "heinous" ways? Just the way shit happens and make no mistake - it happens and, yeah, sadly, some guys aren't or weren't given a choice in the matter... but I know that even this fucked up thing isn't as damaging as a lot of people believe it is. Many would say that I got molested... but if I didn't think that was the case, did I really get molested and more so when if there were laws against it, I wasn't aware of them and had no reason to be aware of them?

But it still happened and there's nothing I can do to change it... and I wouldn't even if I could.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]Even after all these years, I have the memory of how his cock tasted and felt, the heady and illicit joy of tasting his cum... and cum that I shared a common source with. I can "feel" him on top of me, fucking me with intense focus and, yeah, sometimes, I thought he was taking his anger and hatred of me out on my hole... and I strangely didn't mind.

I can remember the feel of his mouth on me; he was a master cock sucker and a determined one, I have to say; he never failed to get me off. I can remember the look on his face as I'd get lubed up to fuck him... and I'd see both his dislike for me and his desire to feel me inside him - it was kinda unnerving, to be honest. Once inside him, he'd fuck back against me shamelessly; neither of us were talkers during sex but I'd often hear him muttering, "Yeah, this is some good dick..." or other things like that.

We'd finish and some unspoken acknowledgment would pass between us that said that even though this was good and all that, tomorrow is another day and one where we just might try to kill each other. I don't know how other guys got along with their brother(s) but my relationship with him was very damned weird.

I remember one day where we fought over some dumb shit he started and we got sent to our room... and the sex we had was off the hook and I'm surprised our mother didn't barge in to see why we were making so much noise. We got finished with each other... and he punched me dead in the face saying, "This shit ain't over, motherfucker..."

I gave him one hell of a beating and today, I laugh at the image of us being naked and trying to do serious harm to each other. He said, "Enough! I get so fucking tired of you kicking my ass!"

"I get tired of kicking your ass," I said.

"Bring that dick over here," he said, waving me over to where he sat on his bed... and I went without giving it a single thought. He could have done some serious damage to me... but he never did but he let me know how unhappy he was about getting his ass kicked via the furious sucking he gave me that had me looking to see if he'd drawn blood or I was missing some skin.

Weird and all those other things associated with this. It happened... and I don't regret or feel shame about any of it: It just was what it was, nature really at work and probably the way it's supposed to work.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]After I wrote yesterday, I got to thinking about a few things like how some guys might... feel some kind of way about this, whether this is how they got their start or not. I also thought that we should tell our stories so that we can learn and understand some shit so that we don't have any shame when it comes to our desires for men, their cocks and their asses.

Someone here asked me if I missed having sex with my brother, who died, shit, over 30 years ago now and the answer was that I did. I've been with a lot of guys in a lot of situations but he was that one constant. We'd fight like rabid dogs and with malicious intent... then we'd "kiss and make up" and for the longest time, I wondered if he picked fights with me so we could screw each other silly later.

He denied it when I got around to asking him... but he did so with a sly smile on his face, telling me that even though our dislike for each other was real and genuine, he was smarter about this than I was - it just was what it was. I remember telling him one day that this was some really weird shit we had going on... and he just laughed.

"I don't have any regrets," he said after he stopped laughing. "I wanted it, you gave it to me, end of story, right?"

He had a point and one I had a hard time denying. Sordid. Nasty. Forbidden and highly illegal... and still a fact of life we don't really want to say much about... and I'm saying something about it so that other guys can learn some shit.

I remember him on his birthday and on the day he died... and I have mixed feelings about losing my only brother to a senseless death. Like most, I try to remember the good times... and a lot of those times were all about us having sex.[/SIZE][/FONT]