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  1. Bonobo Bisexuals: Reality Mixed With Satirical Fantasy

    There is a small chimpanzee that is known for its high levels of sexual behavior and bisexuality without monogamy. Sex functions in conflict appeasement, affection, social status, excitement, and stress reduction. It occurs in virtually all partner combinations and in a variety of positions. This is a factor in the lower levels of aggression seen in the Bonobo when compared to the common chimpanzee and other apes.

    Bonobos are the only non-human animal to have been observed engaging in all of the following sexual activities: face-to-face genital contact, kissing and oral sex. They also do not seem to discriminate in their sexual behavior by sex or age, with the possible exception of abstaining from sexual intercourse between mothers and their adult sons.

    Bonobo males occasionally engage in various forms of male-male genital behavior. In one form, two males hang from a tree limb face-to-face while "penis fencing". I have heard human men referring to this activity as "sword fighting" with their penises. This also may occur when two males rub their penises together while in face-to-face position. We humans call that "frotting". Another form of genital interaction ("rump rubbing") occurs to express reconciliation between two males after a conflict, when they stand back-to-back and rub their scrotal sacs together. How many bi men enjoy another man's scrotal sac rubbing his as well? If men generally got over homophobia and biphobia, this might be a pleasurable way to resolve your conflicts with other men rather than a hand shake?

    Interestingly, female-female genital behaviour is not reported. Is that due to patriachal sexism amongst primatoligists?

    I think that in some cases, it is a good idea to share your love as freely as the Bonobos. Now, would I be as free and loving as the Bonobo bisexual chimpanzees? I don't think that I'd be as loving as them. Do I consider it wrong? Absolutely not. There is always more need for love sexual or platonic in this world.

    It is reported that when Bonobos come upon a new food source or feeding ground, the increased excitement will usually lead to communal sexual activity, presumably decreasing tension and encouraging peaceful feeding. Just image if such a philosophy existed within the human species what might that lead to? Would it reduce war and conflict? Imagine when a new oil source is found, all nations send delegates to determine how to split up the oil. There might be a large bisexual lovefest that would make the 1960's look like a kindergarten class on a visit to a shoe store. Peacefully, they would return to their country to share in an equal allotment of oil. Would this be the end of capitalism as we know it?

    How would this impact monosexuals and monogamists in humans? I'm not quite sure. Some may argue that "we" are not animals. Well, we actually are animals and more specifically primate mammals like the Bonobos. Both humans and Bonobos have opposable thumbs. (different locations though) Others may argue that human social behaviour and morals are of a higher nature than chimpanzees. Point taken. If that is your perspective, you may want to stop reading at this juncture then as this is only the ramblings of a bisexual man who is free thinking. I suspect that the larger common chimpanzees would agree with you that Bonobos are not moral. Then again, the sexual behaviour of Bonobos comes closer to human sexuality than the common apes. We as a species may be closer to the Bonobos than other primates?

    The monogamists may experience anxiety or be rather offended if they were dropped in amongst a group of Bonobo bisexual humans. It certainly would give the monogamist cause to pause to find that monogamy has become an outdated mode of love. Would the monogamous join in or sit in the corner cowering muttering about as a partner they have rights. Maybe, they would get on their soap box making statements about cheating and pointing out that Bonobos are using their bisexuality as an excuse to cheat.

    Would the monogamists eventually acknowledge that the each in the community exists as partners with every other citizen? Would pair bonding disappear in time? Would that make us communists or jihadists?

    Are you a Bonobo bisexual human male or female in some of your sexuality? Love well my brothers and sisters.

    Updated Feb 28, 2012 at 4:50 PM by tenni

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  2. Bisexuality, Love and Possessiveness

    I was reading about a bisexual man writing about his wife who wants a female lover. The wife decided that she was bisexual and had become involved with another married woman. After he thought about it for a few days, he realized that his wife loved him. He wanted her to have what will make her happy. He trusted her to find a balance to give them both attention. Interestingly, the wife was not comfortable with him having a male lover.

    A person may take various aspects and perspectives when it comes to love. Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment. Attachment may be both constructive and beneficial if it doesn't become obsessive and possessive about the personal attachment. Some people have a concept that love means exclusiveness sexually (monogamy) while others do not. Monogamy is a partnership and some argue has little to do with love when the attachment becomes possessive. When a person wants to be sexually exclusive is that love or possessiveness and jealousy?

    Jealousy is possessiveness. Both relate to ownership and manifesting a desire to control or dominate another. This is most negative and especially if it is inorder to limit a person's relationship with others. Some permit platonic relationships with others and some develop jealousy and possessiveness of even platonic relationships. Fewer tolerate and are comfortable with sexual relationships with others which may lead to conflict for some bisexuals.

    Jealousy is an emotion that refers to negative thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear and anxiety over an anticipated loss of something that the person values, particularly in reference to a human connection. Jealousy often consists of a combination of presenting emotions such as anger, resentment, inadequacy, helplessness and disgust. Jealousy implies a triad composed of a jealous individual, a partner, and a perception of a third party or rival. Jealous reactions typically involve aversive emotions( disgust etc.) and/or behaviors that are assumed to be protective for their attachment relationships instead of perceiving the triad as beneficial to the happiness of the loved one.

    Jealousy may be: a/ sexual or b/ emotional/ romantic. Romantic jealousy is the most complex of the two forms and it is a result of a threat to the self esteem of the jealous person. Romantic jealousy arouses the strongest emotional reaction. Jealousy is often reinforced as a series of particularly strong emotions and constructed as a universal human experience that may seek to privileged monogamous discourses.

    Sexual jealousy may be defined as a response triggered when a significant other displays sexual interest in another person. Romantic jealousy is a complex of thoughts, feelings, and actions which follow threats to self esteem. One partner can feel the emotion of jealousy arise if the other partner is paying more attention or time with someone else. The man above was correct in stating that his wife would have balance the attention that she might give to both him and her female lover if they were to be comfortable.

    Schachner & Shaer (2004) report that there are no sex difference in expression of childhood attachments and jealousy but certain adults experience jealousy as a more harmful coping mechanism than others. Jealousy plays a role in sexual attachment for some adults. Schnachner & Shaer state that emotional jealousy was found to be nine times more responsive in females than in males.

    The "Love Style" of the person experiencing jealousy and possessiveness becomes a significant factor. The man above had a love style that differed from his female partner.

    Love songs, love stories are created to reinforce the concept that love is an exclusionary behaviour but this construct is usually created by monosexuals and not bisexuals. We do read or hear of stories of sacrifice and love. If a person loves you they should put their own happiness aside to "prove" their love for you is quite a different approach than the husband above. In fact, he was bisexual himself and obviously revealed this to his bisexual wife thinking that they both might show their love by offering what may make each happy. In that respect, some may argue that he was not really sacrificing. He was as she wanted the freedom but refused to grant him the same. Why should you have to sacrifice your freedom on the guise of love if your partner is interested in your happiness? It seems like a Catch 22.

    Updated Feb 13, 2012 at 3:49 PM by tenni

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