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I have been watching a lot of black men and white women porn. It an artistic sense, I enjoy the difference in colours of the participants' bodies. In a more erotic sense though, it makes me want to go to my knees and have some dude fuck my mouth, using it purely as a receptacle for his cum.

Siblings doing each other. Morally about as heinous as "anything can get." Yet, I grew up in an environment where brothers would do each other (and, often, sisters would get in on the act and action). We all knew that if we got caught doing it to each other, there would be hell to pay... but not as much hell is if brothers got caught at it.

I wouldn't dare say that parents, back then, were ignorant of such things but while there was a small group of very strict parents who'd go to any length to make sure their kids weren't having sex with each other, there were more who probably knew their kids were experimenting with each other and unless they got careless and got busted or someone complained about it, they were "happy" to let it slide.

One such pair of parents were my friend "Billy's" parents, one of the scattered white families in the neighborhood. Billy was one of us and was just as eager as we were to do some sucking and fucking. Other adults in the neighborhood would talk about them and not always in nice ways but they were part of the "village" just the same. Billy had two older brothers, a younger brother, and a younger sister and while I didn't have much interaction with the older brothers, I was good friends with the rest of them. I got invited to spend the night with Billy and was looking forward to it and so much that I showed up with my bag of stuff a bit early; hanging out with Billy was not only fun because we'd wind up having sex but he was that one kid among us who knew how to get into "trouble" and not get caught or suspected.

When I got there, his parents greeted me and told me that Billy was upstairs in his room and I could go in and up, which I did, thinking about how surprised he'd be to see me there early. Once I got to his room, I was the one who got surprised because there was my friend, on the bed, with his legs wrapped around one of his older brother's waist and being fucked! As I stood there with my mouth hanging open, I guess that Billy managed to see me over his brother's shoulder and, as if he weren't being vigorously fucked, told me to come on in - they'd be done in a moment or so. His brother turned to see me, said hi, and kept right on fucking Billy until, moments later he groaned and I knew that his brother was shooting his stuff into his brother.

In retrospect, I don't know why seeing this surprised me as much as it did because if you had a brother, chances were that you were having sex with him. And it wasn't like it was the first time I'd seen one of my friends having sex with a brother; I still don't know why seeing Billy being fucked by his brother surprised me and, if I had to guess, it's probably because he never mentioned it before.

The surprises kept coming, though; Billy's brother - and I can't remember his name - pulled out and rolled over, giving me a very good look at his dick, which was still kinda hard and kinda big. He looked at me, smiled, and said, "You might as well get some of him, too! Come on - I already know that you two have been at it!" To me, it was like I blinked - and then I was between Billy's legs and fucking him with his brother urging me on until I shot my stuff.

I sit here thinking about those days and, man - was I a whore about it or what? It took some doing for me to accept my behavior back then; it was hard to believe at times to think that before I was even a teenager, I'd sucked more dick and had been fucked more than most girls I knew - and I knew a lot of girls. It was so easy to do; didn't have to promise a guy anything, didn't have to beg and plead to get some dick and didn't have to worry about getting my heart broken when a girl would dump me for some other guy and for the dumbest of reasons. And while many guys were suffering with The Drought, I never did... because I could always find a dick to suck if nothing else and if they also wanted to fuck, that worked, too - it was worth having a sore asshole having a big dick stuffed in my butt... but sucking them was a lot easier and more, dare I say, rewarding. Cum tasted good... most of the time. Whether it was a little or a lot; whether they gave it to me quickly or it took a while to get it. Guys who gave it up quickly would feel bad about it and for a time, I did as well until I realized that even if the came fast, they did what I wanted them to do: Cum in my mouth so I could swallow it. I'd feel bad for them and even thought of the times when a guy sucking my dick would make me cum quickly and I thought that if I could get over feeling bad about that, I could not get mad at them when, sometimes, they'd cum in less than a minute. I'd even encourage them to not hold it back - just give it to me and if you don't take too long doing it, I might be able to get you to cum again if you can handle it. Some guys could and some guys just couldn't but when they couldn't, eh, it was their loss just as much as it was mine.

God... I was such a whore about it! Just give it to me and the less complicated you make it, the better for both of us. But changing times saw me changing my mind about it; guys were giving each other the clap and when HIV showed up it made no sense to wind up dying over needing to suck dick. If it did anything, it made me become pickier about it and to the point where I wasn't sucking dick for months at a time... but that's the beauty of being bisexual because I was still getting plenty of pussy from my wife and even more once we opened up our marriage so we could have sex with anyone we wanted to. I wasn't as much of a whore about sucking dick as I was in my younger days but, yeah, sucking dick was still good and more so if and when the guy wasn't being an asshole or a jerk about it. Many did their best to take away my joy of sucking dick... and I was determine to not let that happen so if you were my idea of an asshole, guess what we're not going to be doing?

A shame... but that, too, is what it is. Don't want to have your dick sucked? I understand... and I don't but that, too, is what it is. No longer that crazy cock whore I used to be but I still love sucking dick just the same.

I think about all the uncut dicks I could have sucked... and didn't until I was 50 damned years old. I get miffed about it today but it's water under the bridge because even though I was loathe to put a dick with all that ugly looking skin in my mouth, they could put it in my ass; not only did it feel good but it felt better because I wasn't looking at it. And shit like race didn't matter to me one bit. White guys were more open to it, it seemed to me and it was something I found to be curious, not that other guys weren't open to it but, eh, not as much as white guys were and I thought it was because we were raised differently and our parents being strict or not so much. I got culture shocked to have a white guy tell me that his parents knew he was having sex with boys and wasn't getting the shit beaten out of him for it; I still remember the day a white friend's father walked in on us while we were 69ing to tell us lunch was ready... and then, during lunch, he allayed my fears by telling me that it was okay because he knew that boys will be boys. I'd later wonder how he knew and would think that he knew because he might not have been a stranger to dick himself.

While it was easy to blame this on raging hormones, I knew it was more than that; it felt good. It tasted good. It made me feel good to be sucking a guy's dick and hearing him telling me how good it felt to him and hearing him cussing and all that and even more so when he shot his load into my mouth. I'd later learn about oral fixation but back then? Didn't know about it at all; all I knew was that having a guy's dick in my mouth made me feel good and I could make him feel good enough to cum in my mouth or, if he was fucking me, it felt so good to him that he'd cum in my ass. I'd started to feel... girly any time I sucked dick or got fucked and the feeling was, at first, disturbing because (1) I wasn't a girl and (2) I wasn't gay and like some guys I knew who'd tell me that they loved being the girl. I'd learn not to pay attention to that feeling because it would distract me from what I wanted to do: Suck a dick until the other guy cums so I could feel... complete and satisfied to swallow it all.

It didn't hurt that many of those guys were cock suckers, too, or if they hadn't been before they met me, they found out what I liked about it. I'd get my dick sucked by a guy and it would be so nice and even normal in that unlike some, I didn't find it weird at all. Girls would suck my dick - and I'd better not shoot that stuff in their mouth and save it for their pussy - but with guys, that was rarely the case; if you sucked dick, you took the sperm and if you weren't of a mind to do that, you didn't get to suck any dick. Over time, however, a lot of guys stopped being into it and that, for me, was a shame... but I still had a brother who had no qualms about us sucking and fucking each other. I remember that he busted his first nut with me and we were both surprised when he did it and it was funny how he reacted to it and pretty much the same way I had the first time I busted one. I'd told him what had happened and he was hyped and said, "I don't know what that was but I wanna do it again!"

We'd eventually get busted doing it and I was lucky to "survive" that moment but when I couldn't find a guy who wanted his dick sucked, I knew my brother wouldn't ever say no; why should I just masturbate when I slept in the same room with someone who wanted to suck me off or be fucked and more than willing to be sucked off and fuck me? Yeah, I know what it was... and I didn't care one bit and neither did he even though we'd grow up not liking each other a whole lot... but got along just fine when we were having sex.

Go figure.

It just was what it was. People say today that they got woke up and my first taste of dick and sperm most certainly woke me up. Nasty and forbidden... and such a deliciously naughty thing to do! I would find myself sitting and hoping that when I went outside, someone would want me to suck their dick or if they wanted to fuck, well, okay, that'll work... after I sucked your dick. Having a brother I could do this with definitely worked even though, at first, I didn't want to go there with him since I knew if we ever got caught, going to hell would be a picnic. But I caved and having him as a "lover"" was convenient in that I didn't have to leave the house to take care of my dick fix. Just as forbidden and we both knew that and did it any way. To suck his dick and feel it twitching in my mouth - but nothing was coming out - was fun but not as fun as doing it to someone who would, more often than not, flood my mouth with it and with those certain adults, so much that being able to swallow it all was almost impossible but nothing that a wet washcloth couldn't get rid of and provided that most of whatever I couldn't swallow didn't wind up on the floor.

Again, it wasn't until I was well into my adult years when I'd get to thinking that, um, you know, maybe I shouldn't have been sucking adult dicks but like very retrospective thing, what I thought now didn't change what happened then - it was what it was and since I suffered no ill effects from it, nothing to be all that concerned about, not that anything could have been done about it since those men were quite dead at that point in my life. Still, it didn't matter whether I knew the guy well or I didn't; I can remember the times when I'd meet someone new and all I was thinking about was whether or not they'd be interested in giving me their dick to suck... and sometimes, they weren't and nothing I could say to them was gonna change their minds. But those guys were the exception because most of the new guys I'd meet would be very interested in us sucking each other off or doing some fucking. Oh, it was so nice to feel their dick pumping away and buried in my ass but it wasn't as good as having their dick in my mouth. I was beginning to wonder about that but it wasn't that important because most of the guys I'd began to run into were more interested in sucking dick or being sucked and if they'd never done it before, I'd be more than happy to show them how damned good it was and no matter what anyone had to say about it not being good.

God... when I think back about those years I feel so embarrassed at times to know that I was so easy and eager to do something that, today, I usually have to do some "investigating" in order to do and by common sense necessity... but back then, common sense and I weren't on speaking terms so much. If I kinda/sorta knew you and you wanted to do something, I was all for it. It got to the point where with some guys, I didn't have to ask them if they wanted to because they'd ask me first and I rarely, if ever, said no. And as much as I was hearing about how fucked up it was to be gay and sucking dick and being fucked by other guys, well, that couldn't be all that right because I was all for it and just as much as I was all for getting naked with girls and having sex with them; it was just that guys were... easier and more so when we knew that we could fuck each other until the cows came home and not worry about getting pregnant.

Another time when I'm thinking about how much of a cock whore I was growing up. I couldn't get enough dick to make me happy and the good - and bad thing in the mind of some - was that when I couldn't get any from my peers, there was always that one grownup who didn't mind giving me what I wanted whether it was in my mouth or as much of it I could get in my ass.

I was so easy that all one had to do was pull their dick out and I'd want it and the good - and maybe bad - part was that a lot of guys knew it; I'd see them coming and not really be thinking about getting some dick but after a while, it became apparent that if I saw them heading my way, I knew why they were looking for me and they didn't even have to ask; I'd just ask, "Where?" and off we'd go somewhere to, at the least, get some dicks sucked and the more the merrier although I had learned a valuable lesson about taking on a bunch of guys and sucking all of them or being fucked by them.

I couldn't get enough and I blissfully didn't know - or care - why I couldn't. Doing it to girls was still a lot of fun and eating their pussies was sheer bliss but there was still that need to get some dick that couldn't - and wouldn't - be ignored and I was already developing the "preference" to have one more in my mouth than in my ass, not that this was always a bad thing but it was usually... messy and the only fear I had was my parents doing the laundry and noticing that the back of my underwear was... crusty.

But if you wanted your dick sucked, I was the guy to find. I knew that some were just taking advantage of me and I wasn't happy about that... when I wasn't sucking their dick and definitely not when they were sucking mine. Even if that were the case, it didn't matter because having a hard dick in my mouth and then feeling a guy's sperm flowing in so I could swallow it, well, it didn't get too much better than that unless, again, I was eating some girl's pussy and it didn't even matter if I got to fuck her after doing it.

And I was like this for years and, to be honest, it wasn't until I was well into my adult years that I had reason to think about my younger self being such a whore about dick.

That part of myself had a point but what's done is done. I went about the rest of my day but still thinking about how things went down and despite brushing my teeth and using mouthwash, I could still taste him and the scent of him was still in my nose. If I'd killed things between us, so be it... but I had to admit that I could lose my cool over something that I probably shouldn't but when you say "quickie," it shouldn't take damned near a half hour of my limited time.

I put it out of my mind. Part of me wanted to call and apologize but it got shouted down because he didn't apologize for making it harder for me to suck him off because of what he did and he did lie about it. Whatever. Get over this and get over yourself while you're at it already - and I did. Finally. You can't change what has already happened.

As I drove home, my phone rang and quick look showed that it was him calling. I started not to answer but I did, bracing myself for hearing anger in his voice. But his voice was light; he had said that, at first, he was really pissed off that I'd fingered his ass the way I did but after we parted, he said that when he thought about it, he had to admit that when he came, it was so intense and unlike anything he'd felt before.

Could we get together at his place this Saturday... and would I consider finger-fucking him again and doing whatever I did to make him cum like that? I said that we could and that if that's what he wanted now, it wouldn't be a problem but I asked him to do me a favor and not jerk off before I got there - and he promised that he wouldn't... but since I'd now gotten over myself, it wouldn't matter if he did anyway.

Saturday was fun and no one was more surprised than I was when he akedd that instead of my finger in his ass, would I put my dick in there?

I eased my finger out of him and the moment it popped out, he jumped up and, boy, was he pissed! Did I feel bad about violating his hole like that? Yeah, I did... but he pissed me off first and I was feeling vindictive.

"What the hell was that?" he asked.

"You were taking too long to cum and I told you I had to be somewhere," I replied as I matched his angry stare with one of my own. Maybe what I did would ruin this regular thing and that would be a shame... but if I didn't get to where I needed to be in the next twenty minutes, that would be even worse for me.

"I told you I don't like my ass messed with like that!" he said.

"And I told you how much I hate guys who jerk off before we get together - and I know you did," I said, countering his anger with cold disinterest.

"I didn't!" he said and I knew he was lying... and the voice in my head was now telling me to once again get over myself and don't even think about making this worse than it already was... and it was right - but.

"I guess you didn't think that I'd smell your spunk and didn't think that I'd taste the lotion you used to do it," I said as I sat up and started looking for my clothes.

"You did?" he asked.

"I did - I pay attention to stuff like that," I said as I stepped into my underwear. "In any case, you gotta go because I gotta go."

I was happy but not so much and more so when I barely got to my appointment on time and the good thing for him was that everything went well for me but I did think that because I couldn't get over myself, I might have ruined a good thing but the vindictive part of me grumbled that he had ruined it by doing what he did to begin with. The more sensible part of myself calmly said, "Don't be that way; you got to suck him, he really came a lot and you got your rocks off so stop being a little bitch about it. He probably did it so he could last longer and since you're good for making him cum quickly."