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[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]Sometimes it's just information only and I've shocked a lot of guys, not because I know so much about this but why I do - and it's not just because I happen to be a really smart and knowledgeable kind of guy. I've had to learn not to roll my eyes when an information-only conversation now turns to them wanting to find out why I've been having sex with men right along with women. Again, some are able - even grudgingly - to accept what I say about myself as the truth... and sometimes, some guys require proof and not really because they need any such proof but the conversation has gotten them interested or curious or, usually, rather horny... and I just told them that I'm a cock sucker.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]Not hard to figure out what happens next and I have always gotten a kick out of watching them think about whether they want to find out what it's really like or it's going to remain something they will have no part of... and it's not hard to figure out which thing will win that self-induced argument. Then assurances are needed and mainly that no one ever finds out that they were even thinking about doing this. The next and kind of common assurance is if I suck their dick, does it mean they have to suck mine? Well, no... unless you want to and I'll even tell them to not be surprised if they find out, while I'm sucking them, that they want to suck me. In this, what I know - and what they don't - is that there haven't been too many times where I've been in this situation, a guy has agreed to let me suck him off and has said that the favor will not be returned... and it happens.[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]Then they have another, "It wasn't as bad as I thought it was!" moment and that includes impressions on what it's like to have sperm in your mouth. Such conversations are kinda one-sided because I obviously already know that guys sucking dick isn't as bad as anyone thinks it is or as it's been reported to be; now it becomes a matter of whether or not they're gonna want to find out for themselves and, yes, sometimes they don't...[/FONT]

[FONT=verdana]And most of the time, they do and for no other reason than getting their dick sucked right about now would be rather nice. I sit and notice guys trying to be cool and unaffected by the topic of discussion and while their demeanor and words strive to be neutral, their body tends to rat them out and there have been too many times when I've sat and listened to a guy tell me how fucked up it is for guys to suck dick... but their own dick is noticeably hard. Or I've noticed a change in their breathing or I'm able to see their pupils dilated or they've gone from sitting stock-still to fidgeting in place. Their minds might be out to lunch about it... but their bodies are saying something very different and it's often funny to me to see that they're aware of how their body is reacting and they're wondering if I've noticed it or not... and I'm not beyond just sitting there and acting like I'm not aware of it.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]One of the things that has always delighted, amazed, and tends to make me laugh is when a guy who has been totally against men having sex with other men finding out that, holy shit - it really isn't as bad as they thought or was told it would be. It would - and still does - make me get "that look" on my face to hear a guy ranting and raving against this but then, for some reason, wanting to find out what the big deal is about it despite their stance that they'd never do some shit like that.

I've seen their both their fear and excitement; I've sat and listened to the tired and old arguments about why men should never have sex with each other and how it ain't right... but here they are, talking to me about something that they keep insisting they don't believe in while expressing a curiosity about what it's like. For some, explaining it to them just works but for many, well, it's just easier to show you what the big deal is about getting sucked off by a guy. I've seen the conflict taking place in their mind where, on the one side of things, yup - getting sucked off is pretty damned nice but, on the other side, guys aren't supposed to do that even though there aren't that many people who don't know how gay men have sex.

I can sit with a guy and tell him in some pretty good detail what it's like to have a guy suck his dick and be pretty blunt and frank when explaining that the only real difference between a woman doing it and a guy doing it is... who's doing it. Techniques vary from person to person but the end result is the same: Your dick gets sucked and you cum and what they do with it is up to them.

I've sat and watched our built-in fear of the unknown just fuck with a guy and, sometimes, it's hard for me not to start laughing to see him battling with himself because what he believes doesn't match the reality of things and even more so when prior to having this conversation with me, he would have sworn on any holy item you put in his hand that there is no reason in the whole wide world to let a guy give him a blow job...

Yet, here they are, talking to me about that which they said they had no interest in.

Hmm.[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]"You make it sound easy," he said.

"That's because it is easy...and it's easy because, again, I have [I]decades[/I] of experience with this and I am nothing if not observant; I've seen the serious mistakes others have made and I learned from them. I made it my business to learn about the things that can go wrong and learned how to avoid them and, yeah, the best way to avoid something nasty is to do nothing," I said.

"There's a reason why I only have three rules about this," I wrote. "I learned that if you just wanna do it, the trick is to make it easier to do it instead of making it harder to do and if a guy can't or doesn't meet any of those rules, nothing is going to happen and no matter how much I wanna just do it and, yeah, all I have to do is suspect that he's not going to meet any of the rules: When in doubt, do nothing. Simple. Easy."

"You are one seriously nasty critter!" he wrote.

"Yes, I am and I've always been one," I wrote back. "I don't have 'that thing' for guys but I do very much love having sex and will with anyone who wants to [B]if [/B]the conditions are met," I said. "If I can just do it, why not?"

"What about preferences?" he asked - and not for the first time, either.

"I prefer to have sex," I said - and also not for the first time. "That's where rule number three - don't be my idea of an asshole - comes into play. Otherwise, what else is there to prefer? I've had sex with both men and women from as many races, creeds, all that stuff. Big dicks, little ones, cut and uncut ones; with gay men, really effeminate gay men, and the everyday regular kind of guys. You know that really hairy guys just freak me out... doesn't mean I can't or won't suck his dick. I've had sex with guys so skinny that I feel compelled to feed them and guys so big and fat that I've had to look for their dick."

"And the only thing that really matters is whether they want to have sex or not and while I do have some things that I will never do with anyone, absent those things, why not do it?" I asked. "Even in these things, everything is negotiable..."

"You make a good point," he said.

"I've never found reason to always think of why I shouldn't just do it but, yeah, I do think about such things because I'd be out of my mind not to," I said. "Those things just never took a long time for me to consider and, yep, sometimes I guess wrong but not all that often - I'm horny and easy... not perfect. And I've long since accepted that dealing with the consequences of my actions is something that cannot ever be avoided or, as we used to say, "You pays your money, you take your chances.""

"No risk, no reward in that sense," I continued to say. "If the risks can be eliminated or mitigated, why not just do it? I'd be lying to myself to say that I don't have to or it's not something I'd do all of the time or stuff like that because from day one, I've always wanted to and if I could literally do it all of the time, I most certainly would because I love having sex and I'm not just not all that particular about who I'm having it with as long as they can pass those three rules I mentioned."

"Otherwise, it's easy to just do it..."[/SIZE][/FONT]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]​"Is it still that easy to get you in bed?" my protégé asked.

"Yeah, I'm still pretty easy but it stands to reason that along the way, I learned to say no to a lot of offers because I now have a lot of things I can still think about very quickly and take into consideration, that and the fact that the moment I get the sense a guy is trying to get into my underwear, I'm already thinking everything through and by the time he gets around to asking, I've already made my decision - and the decision is whatever it's gonna be and based on all of the stuff I've been thinking about," I explained. "Sometimes, my friend, the best decision to make is no decision at all and, believe me, it was a lesson I learned the hard way."

"The only real difference between the guy I am now and the guy I was way back then is that, well, I'm a hell of a lot more experienced that my younger self was," I said. "If I can do it, I'm going to do it... unless I have reason not to and, today, a guy is likely to give me a reason not to more than he is to give me a reason to just go for it because I'm still the very horny guy I was when I was younger... but I'm not stupid or careless."

I've always known that the one thing that helped and contributed to me just doing it was not having any inhibitions to speak of. Along the way - and like any guy would - I learned the things I liked doing and the things I just couldn't stand and it makes sense to stay away from the things I didn't like as much as possible but, yeah, not much in the way of inhibitions and understanding that I had them either removed early on or, more likely, they never had a chance to get set in my mind.

My protégé was telling me yesterday about the group of guys he spent the afternoon with that involved dicks being sucked with great fervor and desire and he had asked me if I would have been hesitant or apprehensive being in that situation... and I laughed (even though he couldn't hear me) and said that because I have little in the way of modesty or inhibitions, if I wasn't the first one getting naked and jumping on the closest dick to me, well, I wouldn't be the last one getting into the mix. It doesn't, however, mean that I wouldn't have already thought about everything there would be to think about and consider but chances are seriously good that before I would have arrived at the gathering, I would have already made up my mind whether to participate or not and, as I explained to him, if I had any doubts - even the smallest one - I wouldn't attend but if not, all that would remain would be to just do it because absent a reason not to, um, just doing it is still a whole lot of fun.

"You don't worry a whole lot about this, do you?" he had asked during our original conversation.

"I do and I'd be a fool not to be worried about the things that are worrisome," I had said. "But experience and my ability to think and make decisions quickly despite the amount of stuff that has to be thought about has served me well over all this time. Yeah... I've had a lot of dick in my mouth, my ass, and both; I've had my dick in a lot of guys both mouth and ass... and the only thing that has happened is I had sex with a guy."

I reminded him that in over five decades of having sex with people, I have never caught anything nasty because just doing it has to follow a hard set rule I've never had reason to break: Think first, then act if you must or if you can and with the sure and certain understanding that sometimes, the best thing to do in that situation is often to do nothing. Otherwise, just do it because it also doesn't make sense for me to lie to myself and act as if I don't want to do something when I sure as hell want and need to.

And I reminded him that I was well into this when HIV/AIDS came along and was killing people and the other STDs had a lot of people lining up at clinics to be treated.
[/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]"Back then, it was never a question of not doing it; it was something that you just did," I explained to my protégé and with reference to making the decision to do it or not. "There were a lot of guys who would still be afraid to do it and they'd have to think about whether it would be worth the risk of getting caught and getting into a serious world of hurt... it was just that I wasn't one of those guys."

As I like to mention, there are times when I think about how stupidly easy it was for a guy to have sex with me and, yeah, sometimes, all a guy had to do was pull his dick out and show it to me and I'd want it in my mouth and in my ass... and remembering all of this still embarrasses me. I've never had any regrets about it - and in line with what I wrote yesterday about taking the good with the bad - but the facts of the matter were that if you were a guy and looking to do it with another guy, all you had to do was come find me because it was well known that I wouldn't say no or, if I did, it meant that I couldn't do it right then and there but come find me later, okay?

"You were quite the slut, weren't you?" my protégé asked.

"That's quite the understatement but, yeah, I was and I'd go as far as to say that I still am, to a degree," I typed back to him. "Even back then, my favorite thing in the world to do with a guy was to suck his dick until he came in my mouth and I got to do a lot of that and more so when some of my friends didn't always want to fuck or be fucked and that was just fine with me; I had acquired the taste for sperm and found it very much to my liking."

It would be fun to suck one of my friends who hadn't started shooting sperm because, if nothing else, I could feel his prick jerking and twitching my mouth and keep right on sucking him so I could get that wonderful feeling in my mouth again. It was a win/win for me because I was the first among us to actually shoot sperm and guys - and quite a few girls - would want to suck me and get me to shoot it in their mouth and if they didn't like the taste, well, I could always shoot it in their ass or pussy.

"So a cock sucking fiend, eh?" my protégé asked.

"Oh, hell, yeah," I responded. "Between my friends who could shoot and the, ah, dirty old men who didn't mind feeding me their dick - and paying me to be fed - there wasn't anything better than to suck on a dick until I'd get a mouthful of sperm and feeling it pumping away in my mouth."

"Nasty critter..." he typed, followed by an LOL emoticon. "Did you ever have to think about doing that?"

"No - I just did it because it didn't make sense to me not to do it," I said. "When I told you that I got hooked on it the very first time, I wasn't joking or kidding about that at all so, yeah, if a guy wanted me to suck his dick, there wasn't anything else to do other than to just do it."

One of the things I learned was that I had the... ability to think quickly and make decisions quickly and, ironically, thanks to my parents who would often tell me, "If you study long, you study wrong." That was in reference to doing homework and, as they explained to me, sometimes, the first answer that comes to your mind is usually the right answer but the longer you take to think about it, the more you second guess yourself and are more likely than not to provide the wrong answer.

When it came to doing something with a guy, it wasn't like I didn't think about it because I did... but I was able to think about "everything," both good and potentially bad about doing it - like getting caught doing it - and give the guy my answer right away instead of literally taking a couple of minutes to think about it. So a guy could ask, "You wanna do it?" and my answer of "Yeah!" would be given and inside of five seconds. I began to realize that I could answer quickly because the thrill of doing it with a guy just outweighed the risks of getting busted doing whatever... and to just do it was a no-brainer because doing it felt really, really good - and not doing it and when I wanted to, would make my balls hurt really bad.

Easy choice and one that didn't take a whole lot of thought.

[/FONT][/SIZE]

[SIZE=3][FONT=verdana]​I was talking to my protégé about my sexual history with men one day and he was, I guess, both surprised and wowed at how much of it I've had. It gave me an opportunity to poke him in the ribs by saying, "Well, I have been doing this before you were born..." and to also remind him that throwing it down with men isn't something that I just started getting into.

He was throwing questions at me as fast as he could type them and faster than I could answer them, like was I getting so much dick because I had "a thing" for guys; he asked what methods I used to be able to get naked with another guy and what was my decision process when saying yea or nay to a proposition. All good questions and especially the last one - and I'll get to that in a moment. I explained to him that in those early days, having sex with a guy was stupidly easy since my male peers and I were beginning to feel those insane hormones flooding us and wanting to, as we'd say, do the nasty was a very high priority for all of us and while there were girls who were very game to have it done to them, there were more boys than girls who wanted to do it and, yeah, it really was as easy as asking a guy, "Hey... do you wanna do it?"

The decision process he asked about hadn't even been developed or refined so, for me, the answer was always, "Yeah!" because while doing it to a girl was damned good, it wasn't as exciting as getting naked with one of my male friends and getting to the business of sucking his dick, having mine sucked, and we both took turns fucking each other and, as always, it was even more exciting since we all knew that we weren't supposed to be doing it and not even with girls. I said to him that I honestly can't remember too many times, in the early days, where I said no to an offer of sex with a guy and if I did, it was probably because I didn't know him all that well or the instincts I was developing would be telling me to say no even if the hormones in control of me were telling me to go for it anyway.

I can't say that I remember too many times when I actually had to stop and think about whether I wanted to do it with a guy and I mean in terms of where and when and if it was a guy I knew, well, the only thinking that had to be done was where and when and to that end, when was right now and where was equally a non-issue since we all knew every place in our neighborhood where we could go and have sex without worrying about getting caught doing it, that and there was always the chance that we'd pick a place, get there, and find some of our other friends already there and well into doing it so joining them and turning it into a group sex situation just made sense to one and all.[/FONT][/SIZE]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]He also pointed out that one can only be as good at this as is humanly possible and while everyone strives to be good at having sex, eh, sometimes, it just doesn't work like that all of the time. I would be sucking his dick and bothered with thinking that I wasn't doing it right and he'd somehow pick up on what I was thinking, stop me, and ask, "Are you doing the best you can?" - then, when I'd say that I was, he'd say, "Then that's all you can do, isn't it?"

He pointed out that it's always a good thing to want and be able to make sex good for the other person but to never lose sight of the fact that whether they actually liked it or not, did you enjoy having sex? That was a difficult thing to wrap my head around but I understood what he was telling me: If you're not going to do everything you can do to enjoy having sex, why bother at all? That you're either going to make the other person very happy or you aren't and, yes, either they're going to make you happy or they won't and that's just the way it goes.

Taking the good with the bad became a more common sense kind of thing for me and while I knew of a lot of men and women who'd put a lot of stress on themselves about sex being good or bad, it was a major relief for me to not think in those terms so much and it's way too easy to overly criticize yourself after the fact but the truth this kind of mentor to me taught me was that sex - any sex and with anyone - is only bad when you've convinced yourself that it was and being able to understand that not everyone I might have sex with is going to be concerned about whether or not the sex they're providing is good or bad to me... and especially men and, sadly, we're just too well known for making sex a nightmare for someone.

I saw that being bisexual was the thing that drove all of this home for me and even today, I don't think I'd know what I know about this had I not embraced bisexuality and sex as I did. I learned not to beat myself up - or whoever I was having sex with - if things weren't "all that good" because as my somewhat mentor would point out, "Did you have sex?" I give him credit - and a lot of it - because he taught me to pay more attention to what than who... and the what was having sex and that was the lesson I learned that, to this very day, makes good or "bad" sex a non-issue and understanding that when it comes to having sex, everyone has good and bad days at it... and to not let those bad days steal my joy of sex.

"There's always a next time to effect improvements," he'd said to me. "And do yourself a favor by not trying to be something you are unable to be or what someone else wants you to be since, obviously, you can only do what you're able to do and to the best of your abilities, right?" He said that it was okay for me to think that I could have been better or that whoever I had sex with could have done this or that better... but the questions he said I had to be able to answer was did I have sex and did I do the best I could to enjoy it?[/SIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=verdana][SIZE=3]I was more mad at myself than I was at him but in any of this, you always wind up taking the good with the bad and, again, the hardest thing I had to deal with was knowing that, damn it, the sex he had with me was very damned good. It was a huge lesson in not only taking the good with the bad when it came to other guys, it was also very much about taking the good and the bad with myself and accepting some difficult truths.

And all while maintaining a healthy perspective on being able to have sex with males and females and the understanding that, sure, avoiding the bad is always a good thing but it's not always possible; I trusted my instincts without question but even they could be wrong or, yeah, sometimes, they'd be telling me not to and I'd do it anyway, something would happen to make me ask myself, "Why did I think this was a good idea?" and now finding myself thinking if whatever was going on was "bad" enough for me to make it stop or, again, just let it happen. I had reasoned that if I wasn't going to be willing to take the good with the bad, not being willing and able to accept this would make sure that I wasn't going to be having sex with anyone and, for me, not having sex was unthinkable.

Because I had learned that if you allow someone to steal your joy, that's the biggest mistake one can ever make and now it was a matter of not letting the bad moments fuck with me and destroy all of the work I'd put into myself to be and remain as well-adjusted as possible and, believe me, being able to go both ways in this requires a high degree of being well-adjusted and an understanding of what sex is really all about and that shit like our morality and other things really didn't mean a whole lot to some people... and especially to some guys whose only purpose would be to slake their lust upon me and whether it was enjoyable for me or not.

Having sex with anyone comes with what I'd come to call "occupational hazards," those things that, like it or not, are a part of having sex with someone and, importantly, learning whatever there was to be learned from both the good and the bad. It sucked to know that I could make mistakes and other errors in judgement but it was in line with something an older guy taught me as a life lesson: If you never make mistakes, you never learn how to correct them. He taught me that when it comes to sex, don't think in terms of good or bad so much because it's always good to be able to have sex in the first place since - and as he had correctly pointed out - the person you wanted to have sex with can always say no... and now it would be on me to make the best of it the moment as possible... and, sometimes, things can just go south or be deemed, after the fact, to be a mistake.

"If you don't ever make mistakes in this, you will never, ever, learn anything," he had said.[/SIZE][/FONT]