Things I've learned about commiting to meeting with men since getting past the what i

Things that made me nervous or ran through my head as I found myself wanting to finally meet a man and getting tired of just wondering and fantasizing...

Was I really bi or is it just a taboo fantasy that gets me excited?
Being caught or outed by someone I know online or in public.
Is he possibly a psycho or possibly dangerous, std's, or a blabbermouth?
My inexperience.
Actually sending or posting a face pic.
Rejection or sucking at sucking.
Denial and questioning even after experimenting the first time and enjoying the exp.

I've sucked exactly 3 cocks in my life, first one was about 11 yrs ago, next was in 2015 and finally again in 2019, each one I was nervous beforehand and thought about backing out but just went anyways to get it under my belt and maybe be more comfortable reaching out to men after. The first one I sucked I did a crappy job, wasn't into him physically or mentally but I had to get a taste because it was available and there for me to try, no strings and he was safe and I knew him. Second guy off Craigslist was completely out and a stud, the kind of guy who has a ton of big cock worshippers just waiting to blow him every day or be blown, with him it was hard because he was huge and I wasn't experienced or confident, I couldn't get a read on him maybe because of my shyness, though he moaned and said my name and bucked his hips and squirmed which was hot and encouraging, I couldn't make him come and eventually gave up like a silly schoolgirl at 16 and left him hanging like an idiot after about 30 or 40 mins and a sore jaw and cock burn on my lips, I'm sure he was unimpressed a bit that I gave up, but his cock was like 10" and thick, I was attracted to him physically and he made me realize I could enjoy a mans touch and feel which was surprising to submit so easily to a rugged strong man never having that type of attraction before besides just wanting a faceless cock in my fantasies. The third was a regular guy I met off of POF dating site, we talked late one night for a bit and I didn't want to waste time or chicken out the next day so said I wanted his cock in my mouth soon and we met the next morning for a quickie at his place, sucked and let him rim me and please my ass with his expert fingers as he blew me to the most hip bucking and gyrating orgasm I ever had, sucked him hard when he got soft and had him put his cock in my ass, he wasn't big and couldn't keep it up after blowing already 5 minutes before. Of course I wanted to see him again but he was always out of town and when he was free I made excuses to myself because I was in a relationship and it was hard to find time to sneak around and I just lost interest with him living an hour away and being away for months out of the year with no definite meet ups coming soon.

One thing I noticed I did with these first guys who were all gay and out was be nervous and spent a lot of time on my first visits talking about being nervous and unsure, how I had a girlfriend but liked men for yrs now and wanted to explore, while they were all cool there was a bit of an undertone of ok, you're here and I'm here, are we talking or sucking cock? So after exploring and wanting more obviously I started question things looking back that held me back from going back for more or chasing them a bit, I was still nervous, about getting caught by my g/f at the time, if it was the right thing to do as far as future fulfillment, gay guts seem to not be into relationships much, or the guys I met anyways, and the next question, what happens if I really like men and decide to date only men, how would people react? Family, friends neighbors? Was I sure I like men or sucking cock on the down low?

Well, I had to answer these questions and figure things out so I broke up with my lady and decided to only see men for a while, I took some time off for myself and relax and reach out when I was ready to meet a man. So taking this time I realized I had to do things differently. there was no need to discuss being a noob any more, I'm past that with 3 guys in my mouth and beyond and under my belt, I'm not with women any more and yes, I love cock, so why waste a potential mans time blabbing about being nervous or what got me into that mans bed or sitting on his couch, I was there for sucking a cock, that was my final outcome to all the jerking and thinking and fantasies over the years, I was here and here for men only now, that was my eye opening moment, no turning back this time til I know the answer, will men satisfy my soul and needs like a woman did for so long?

So with this new sense of being, I just spoke to my 4th potential last night, posted an ad on POF with a picture a few days ago, refusing to hide in anonymity this time around and put up a picture and honest description of what kind of men I wanted to meet, not scared to be seen by anyone online, and to be forward answering anyone I was interested in as opposed to being my regular questioning unsure, nervous self, ie: instead of being passive I will tell a man he is handsome or what attracted me about him. How I liked tall, rugged men with a hairy chest and sexy confidence etc.how I looked forward to meeting and sucking his cock if we click, how I like kissing and intimacy I won't talk about my experience or lack of any more, just ask questions and state what I was into and what I liked and preferred in a sexual setting relationship etc, it was very easy to do surprisingly, and the response I got back made me feel like a teenager dating women again only it was a man this time and 30 yrs later, I was super comfortable hearing him say we seem to be a good fit and yes, let's move forward and exchange numbers and get talk and get together soon.

I really like this new confidence I have found, the past doesn't matter, say what you gotta say to feel comfortable in any situation, but if the other guy is experienced or out he has heard about this a hundred times and understands, so either suck or don't, time is precious and the next guy may be months or years away if you are shy or scared, if you find a guy you like and he's into you too, go for it, and definitely deal with your questions on your own time, you're there to suck a cock because you like or want to, it isn't your choice any more once you sucked a couple, you know you like and want more or you wouldn't be advertising and craving it here or out there.

Looking back what a waste of time questioning is, everyone does through it if you're confused, but look at it this way most people who have never eaten a candy bar will just go to the store and buy one, you like it you might just buy another next time, if it tastes like shit or you don't like the texture or looks of it you don't question yourself later, you just say no. So you might as well put the effort into sucking a cock if you jerk off to men, if you don't like it you will know right away, you didn't question liking women after you got a boner kissing or dancing with one in grade school did you? You get hard you like cock, or maybe men too, simple math. Enjoy

As someone who has given a lot of guys their first dick experience, I know many of them had the same questions you had and I felt that I had a responsibility to answer them to the best of my ability as well as to separate fact from fiction. For some guys, it was a second experience but their first one was a disaster in some way so now it became a trust issue: Could they trust me not to do any kind of harm to them? Sometimes, they would be so conflicted about it that I would try my best to talk them out of it because I could tell that if they went through with it, chances were good it would cause them more problems than the ones they were already dealing with trying to take that first-time plunge. The #1 concern a lot of guys had was... am I gay or is this going to make me gay? Next was great concern and fear over someone finding out that they did something with a guy.

A lot of guys, when trying to arrange a meet, had a lot of fear; one guy was so busy looking around the place we were having coffee that he couldn't put enough words together to form sentences and I told him that I thought it would be best for him to just go on back home and rethink this and find a way to not be paranoid about it. One guy actually wanted to pat me down to see if I was wearing a wire or had any weapons on me! With a lot of guys, it's not all that easy to rid them of their fears, both real and imagined; I give them the truth as I have learned it and, sometimes, they can't find a way to believe - or trust - that I'm telling them the truth and not just what they wanna hear so I could get into their pants.

I have succeeded in first times more than I have failed - and I have failed but not because I wasn't able to answer their questions. It's funny - and not in a humorous way - that if we're trying to get some pussy, we don't have all of these questions and fears unless the woman in question gives us reason to suspect things ain't quite right with her. But trying to get some dick? Because we see it as being so very different - and it goes against our moral beliefs - I'm never surprised at how some guys act. One guy wanted us to suck dicks but he didn't want to talk on the phone, didn't want to meet anywhere, didn't want to tell me his real name or show me a picture of his face - but wanted to know all there was to know about me and including what kind of underwear I wore. I told him that he's not going to get what he wanted by doing... nothing. Find a way to get past your fears and when you do, let me know.

Once a guy finds for himself that getting some dick is really natural and normal - and there are a lot of guys who have sex like this who aren't gay - then they tend to be okay with it and, importantly, themselves. I tell them to not worry about "not doing it right." It's okay to be nervous. It's okay to change your mind about it even if that happens while we're doing something. Everyone has a first time in this and they're not the only guy I've met who has questions and concerns and while I wasn't afraid during my first time, I know a lot of guys who were and, yeah, I have a responsibility to make sure that you're making the right decision for yourself even if that's me telling you not to do it.

Those are a couple of thoughtful posts. Thank you. I still find myself conflicted even though I know I like cock. I still get nervous and I still question myself. I wish I were braver about facing my fears of being gay/ bi/questioning.

Thanks for these posts! This really helped me sort out my feelings and fears. I'm comfortable with being BI, even though I haven't been with a dude yet, I know that I am. I don't want any family or current friends to know this right now, and probably because I know my wife would leave and take everything. If that wasn't a concern, I would probably be a lot further along. As long as any potential partners practice safe sex, I have no other reservations. I realized now the only way I am going to get anywhere, I'm gonna have to put myself out there. Either include a picture of myself on a hookup app, or find a place where gay/bi men hang out. Everything else would be smooth sailing.

Coming to terms about being bi is one thing; getting out there to have the sex is something else. You know how you feel and while I think it's normal to wonder if you're really gay, if you're still having sex with women - and enjoying - then that, all by itself, should tell you that you're not gay... but it is true that some gay men enjoy sex with women, too. It's normal to have these feelings, toss them around inside your head and question yourself and I'd have to say that we just have to "prove it to ourselves" by getting some dick and in whatever way we've been thinking about (and probably jerking off to).

This is the part where most guys wind up overthinking things - and that's normal, too. Trust your feelings more than what your mind is telling you about "being gay" or that "there's no way you're supposed to feel the way you do." The only real question you need to ask yourself and be able to answer is how can you get some dick without screwing the pooch? This, I think, is the hardest part of being bisexual and wanting to take the plunge but as it's said, if it's something you really want and need to do, you'll find a way to do it. And when you do, be confident. There are things you have to be aware of so that you (and everyone else) can be safe - this is common sense stuff. Do your due diligence. Don't overthink it. Trust your feelings but be smart about things. Just do the best you can do and, as I've told many guys on the precipice of their first time, just let it happen. Finally, you might not "know everything" about the other guy but I think it's very damned important that you know yourself and to not let your fears "talk you out of this." Always think first then act if you must and if you can... but if you can't, you still have to be okay with yourself being bisexual.

I can go on for days about this.